View Full Version : Tips for creating sacred space/boundries?
I was hoping some of you might have some tips as to what's worked for you re: creating sacred space with good, strong psychic boundries. My tarot work has been falling to the wayside the last few weeks because of someone in the house being excessively negative/competitive/diminishing/critical and harshly judgemental (and, no, it's not a situation I can readily get out of or entirely want to--in many ways, love is thicker than water and all that and sunny days do peep through, even if it takes several months of stormier weather :) )
But I digress...:) I have one of those souls where someone opens a door to a room and I jump a mile, straight out of a dead sleep sometimes, so I'm looking for tips beyond envisioning a protective white light around me. So any tips would be greatly appreciated since I feel like an unwatered flower without a truly peaceful/trusting/open/honest place to lay out spreads and, esp., get impressions (the bulk-part of most readings, for me, anyway :)
Thanks so much! :)
Are you talking about a constantly protective circle? Or just when you read cards?
To keep negativity out of a home, I usually suggest smudging the spaces thoroughly - moving counterclockwise to banish the negativity and placing small pieces of citrine on the sills above exterior doors and windows.
However, it sounds as if this is a housemate. Have you tried sitting down with him/her and saying, "Your negativity is having a really bad effect on me and I'd appreciate it if you'd stew on your own?"
or perhaps give them some chocolate to shut them up, or tell them to get a life and they need to go and get laid to get that chip off their shoulder? :D
seriously though i would recommend smudging as above, and also using some crystals to provide a protective space where negativity can't break through.
most of the dark and black coloured crystals are good for this - obsidian, smokey quartz, onyx, etc,...
It sounds like you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with the person about respecting each otherís space. In college dormitories the old necktie or hair tie on the door handle is a universal signal of ďDo Not DisturbĒ. If you can work out a signal that will be respected, you can solve a lot of problems. If that doesnít work, you can always go to the local Wal-Mart and buy a key lock for the door. That should keep people from barging in on you. As for the overall atmosphere of the home, there are several things that can be done to help lighten the mood. Others have suggested smudging. You can also place garlic at the doorways. Take the different senses and try to find positive ways to influence each of them. Look into aroma therapy. There are several different essential oils that you can put in an oil burner that will help. If I remember correctly, grapefruit and lemon are both good fragrances for lifting the mood. What kind of music is playing in the background? You might want to try switching to something by Mozart. What kind of light is in the house? Try to get as much natural sunlight as possible. Open the curtains whenever you can. Can you change the color scheme? Lavenders are good for spirituality. Any of the earth tones are calming. Do you have any plants in the house? Try bringing the out-of-doors inside. Get a book on Feng Shui. Itís surprising how little changes can make big differences. For your personal protection, carry a stone called jet. If you canít find a jet stone, black onyx or black tourmaline will also help. These black stones do a great job of absorbing negative energy. I do not recommend doing any sort of binding spell. While bindings do work, it ties you to that person and sooner or later you will need to break the binding and many times the backlash is pretty intensive. If nothing else works and you find yourself really needing a binding spell, send me a PM and I will give you some suggestions that have worked for me. There are so many things that can be done to improve your situation that I hope you wonít need to resort to a binding spell. One more thing, you need to keep your spirits up. A good web site for motivation is The Daily Motivator at www.greatday.com. If you scroll down to the bottom of this web site you will find a PowerPoint presentation called Even Now. It is very uplifting. Iím sure others will be able to give you some ideas as well.
You could give your room a good vigorous sweeping- go around it in a clockwise direction, and visualise brushing all the accumulated negative energy out your door.
Here in London, we are in the midst of the Diwali Hindu celebrations- this is the festival of Lights... before it starts, people will clean their house thoroughly to rid it of any actual or psychic 'dirt' that has gathered. The rooms are symbolically swept clean, and the broom is held in reverance during this time.
Then, there are special geometric patterns created with coloured rice placed on the floor inside the threshold of the front door, (said to confuse any negative energy trying to get back in!:grin:)
You could put something by your door that you consider a protective symbol- a medicine wheel, a star, or a talisman that you make yourself.
You could chase the negativity out of your room also by going around it with a gourd rattle like shamans do in some countries... whichever works the best for you. You will need to reinforce the cleansings with a 'refresher' now and again- because it sounds like this person's bad feelings will still be present in the house... just think of it as 'dusting' the room clean of their unfortunate attitude. (I've got a short-handled sort of hearth brush I keep just for this purpose; I even give the air a bit of a sweep if I feel it needs it!)
You could even decorate your special broom with feathers, ribbons, or whatever... and keep it just for purifying your room for your Tarot readings.
A lock sounds like a good idea, too.:grin:
my family is catholic, and so, we rely on the saints and angels as well as our Lord for protection. My mother has always taught us to place St. Benedict medals above every door and window in our house. sounds silly, i know, but it's something all of us do, and my last house had 27 windows, & four doors, so i had ALOT of medals to hang! Our current house has 7 doors, & 21 windows. also we put a cross in every room, and I have a statue of the Infant of Prague that faces the main entrance for protection. Then, I have holy water, which i use to bless areas that i feel needs it. on top of that, sometimes i burn white candles, which i was told offers protection. the other ideas are also great ideas---i do have our walls painted in calming colors, and i like to have a lot of light in a room. you can also burn insence or herbs, like sage for protection.
all of the ideas mentioned already are good ones too---most i've heard of except the broom idea! it makes sense to me, and so I would recommend you decide for yourself what will help you feel a bit more relaxed and not so threatened by the negativity around you. Who knows, maybe your housemate will calm down and mellow out too!
Add a little mirror to your bedhead - or side table, believe that it will reflect the energy from you.. you can also put one in the front window so
as people enter they are reflected by their own energy, this way it helps everyone in the house.. and also any external energy that may be caught up in spirit...
I agree with Sharpchick and Raeanne. have a straight talk with this person. if you feel thir presence judgement and attidudes are putting you off your tarot, why will other work you do ( like a protective circle) not be adversly influenced by the? You could sudge or whatever but they'd probably laugh at you for it, making you feel more frustrated.
I think you need to look at what you want emotionally and how that interacts with your development. I]A true friend should encourage your developments and not negativly influence them.
Seaweed, I know first hand how hard it is to live with someone like you describe above...and deeply understand why you continue to endure the abusive behaviour.
You simply have to make a choice...either you choose to let this person continue to steal your joy or not.
It sounds like to me the person who is being abusive needs prayers of love and light and a blessing of the spirit of contentment, compassion and understanding.
I lived for many years with someone who was intent on stealing my joy and destroying my self esteem...he was relentless...there is no rest for the wicked. I prayed and prayed.... and prayed some more, until I was delivered from what I thought was my fate. I kept telling myself despite his ways, he truly loved me...and I klinged to that hope till the bitter end. Now, I realized no only did he not love me...he loves no one...no even himself. Unfortunately, it was to late...I could not help him.
Do everything you can to protect and bless your sacred space, but also consider trying to determine what this person really needs, not only from you....but what he needs to heal his soul. And, what you can really do to help him find some contentment and peace...
Do you know this proverb?
Love is Patient, love is Kind. It does Not Envy, it does Not Boast, it is Not Proud. It is Not Rude, It is Not Self-Seeking, it is Not Easily Angered, it Keeps No Record of Wrongs. Love does Not Delight in Evil, but Rejoices in the Truth. It Always Protects, Always Trusts, Always Hopes, Always Perseveres. - I Corinthians 13:4-7 -
I will say a prayer for you, but remember your real remedy and protection is within you and your power to be as you wish to be... :)
It looks like I'm going to try a little bit of everything suggested, incl. smudging, growing plants in root jars on the window, personalizing with some important pictures, finding some jet and making a necklace, a serious spring cleaning/sweeping, hopefully finding a nice mandala or two to probably hang over the threshhold, at least one white candle, airing the room during the day (more practical now that our temps are back down to something reasonable in Phoenix :) ), reading up on Feng Shui (I have 2 big mirrors in the room already, probably a Feng Shui nightmare :) ) and figuring out somthing of an "Out of Body, back in 5" door sign. The room is white, white, white, so at least that's in my favor, with white being a good color for my sun sign, and with a north-eastern exposure, at least it stays nice and cool in there and I can see the mountains outside. (You know, I've actually had this article hanging on my ice box for 6 months now for unique, world-wide gifts made by indigenous peoples...maybe I'll snoop around there. [Here are the sites (I havenít checked them out yet... http://www.novica.com/ and http://ezaria.com/ Let me know if you guys find these sites interesting/helpful.]
I haven't been listening to a lot of music while card reading because about half of the way I read is intuitively (I just invite the cards to show, say and emote what they want to), but I'll try experimenting with low-volume music. I've never been one for Jazz or Classical, but I love the Beatles and many of their pieces are soft enough for the purpose, esp. the psychadelic stuff, and anything by George Harrison or his work with Ravi Shankar on the Vedic Chants album or his later compilation works. I guess it will just take a while to stop feeling flinichy and learn to tune down/out everybody else's energies while I'm focusing on my own.
Thank the stars this situation isn't with a roommate or romantic interest--it's famiily and it's a necessary living arrangement for us all for the time being. Believe you me, having lived this way for so long, I'll steer very clear of anything resembling this situation when it comes time for romance--at least I'll be aware of the pitfalls :) Exp. anything this complicated :) But, you know, that's the beauty of all these disciplines like tarot, you finally start seeing the patterns in your life from many different angles and can kind of understand how you operate and who might best mesh styles with you. Sometimes it hardly takes the headache out of family stuff (I'm learning moon signs are a *big* deal in family compatibility and certain transits and full moons & the signs they fall in can be *really* stressful,) but I'm hoping with the combo of defining a sacred space, protecting my own auric bubble with jet, and just drawing very, very heavily on the Temperence and Strength cards to figure out ways to endure and maybe enjoy---well, there are only a few people on earth I'd make these kinds of sacrifices for, but I figure, they've invested their lives/futures in me, how can I not return the favor with temperence, flexibility, compassion, setting up really good boundries *and* knowing when the heck to get out of the house and bury myself in a bookstore nose-deep in a foamy milk steamer? (as long as the influence in the stars are short lived!) :)
Thank you all for your empathy, caring and suggestions! I'm definitely going to take them to heart.
Don't you wish you could put this person in a very small room , paint it black , fill it with depressing things , and tell them can't come out into the nice areas until they behave and leave their controlling crap stuck in the room ? It would probably involve a threatening stick too, and it wouldn't be practical.
That is a classic response from an inquisitor! :laugh:
I really appreciate the empathy, Dark Inquisitor : ) but having lived with too much darkness (sometimes light and air-absorbing darkness) for most of my life, I couldn't wish it on anyone. It is frustrating, though.
They say there are two kinds of frustration/anger--one turned inward, one turned outward. Frustration turned inward is like being suffocated, frustration turned outward is like smothering someone's soul in the empty effort to try and soothe your own. Being sensitive makes me vulnerable to the first kind of frustration and unlikely to go the other route, but I pick up on everything, esp. negativity way too well--so being sensitive to the first kind of frustration maginifies my response to the second kind (like having psychic allergies.)
I hope that people who are filled with darkness find light and air and have all the heaviness removed from them that goes with it as soon as possible. (I really do. It's too painful a thing to live with--and it competes with life.) And I hope that people who feel the need to project their frustrations experience complete relief from what's bothering them, then I hope they find enlightenment, see what they're doing and then care enough to find a harmless way to find relief. I don't wish them harm, I wish them relief. And I hope that whatever this lightness is comes into people in such a way that it's no longer even possible (even as a reflex) for frustration-projectors to be able to project darkness ever again--or even have the desire to. I wish for soothed souls all around : )
I wouldn't wish that everyone was so sensitive to darkness--that's not a solution--but maybe that there could be so much light that darkness couldn't get into anyone, or be projected outward either. A light so bright that darkness can't break its boundries.
I understand the paradox of dualism, but it would be nice to have some kind of environment based on light that just keeps the darkness/bad out--like psychic judo--only something that neither seeks to self-defend or antagonize, but rather neutralize and restore balance. Something light that floods out any darkness that seeks to creep in.
I know none of this sounds realistic. But I'd like to think that maybe, if such a way doesn't already exist, that maybe we just haven't found it *yet* : )
I understand the paradox of dualism, but it would be nice to have some kind of environment based on light that just keeps the darkness/bad out--like psychic judo--only something that neither seeks to self-defend or antagonize, but rather neutralize and restore balance. Something light that floods out any darkness that seeks to creep in.Beautifully put seaweed. That's something I need to remember too.
The jumping thing probably indicated an over active triple warmer that is your fight or flight reflex is overactive which is exceedingly common because what worked when we were in danger from saber tooth tigers does not serve us well in these days . The best metods I know for sedating triple warmer are in the book "Energy Medicine by" Donna Eden but I think there me quite a bit to be found in a web search. Also learning to zip up and lock your central and governing channels this will in essence provide you with protections you carry with you better than the standard white light and shields etc.
Sorry about the delay, Skygreen. I've actually been looking for the book! : ) My library has it, I checked to see if they had it online, but when I went in the other day it wasn't on the shelf. I may just put myself on the library waiting list for it and then go to the local bookstore, have a steamer and an afternoon read : )
I'm really looking forward to the read--thanks for the tip!
BTW...Has anybody tried/or had success with Transcendental meditation? It's kind of on the same lines as energy focusing...All I really know about it is that you get a mantra and you're supposed to focus on the mantra twice a day, for 20 minutes.
It's nice that you wish this sort of person relief , but really they're already finding it - by dumping all their crap on you ! I have a theory that this kind of person actually lives longer because they're busy purging themselves on the rest of us.
You really could be sending out the compassionate vibe that is very nice , but also like a beacon to this kind of encroachment. So you might want to investigate that , and think deeply on the matter of if you unconsciously believe you might be obligated to cooperate with taking this in to give others relief , or make sure on your innermost level of not feeling deserving of this kind of spiritual victimization. One also has to feel empowered and ok to defend oneself. Some people just don't .
Also, it pays to remember everyone has one or more OFF buttons. You just have to find the right ones. For example, my sister might decide to invite herself over. A simple explanation or a no will not deter her .(She is a soul sucking hellbeast that reason and politeness have no impact on .. ) However , if I say strangers will be coming over too, she will not want to come. I know this is a trigger fear for her and will shut off her intrusive actions .
In my extreme opinion, people like this are spiritual murderers . And they enjoy what they're doing on some level , so it's hard to get them to stop . One has to find a way to deprive them of whatever they're getting out of it . An old book comes to mind :
The People of the Lie, by M. Scott Peck
Another thing to bear in mind is that as long as you project sympathy , understanding , let's not make waves , I must not ever upset anyone, I have to save , help , elevate everyone and every situation spiritually , you could be at a very big disadvantage in stopping the activity and its' effects on you . It might be like leaving an unlocked door hanging open in your aura with the welcome mat out.
However , if I say strangers will be coming over too,
she will not want to come.:( And I was going to make us all Paella! :laugh:
Seriously, when I was in hospital for 3 weeks
I was surrounded at all times by protection...
and I knew it was my guardian angel standing
by me through everything... no matter how it
got to be I was serene and confident~ inside.
It was a new experience and I've remembered
the feeling...I can draw on it at any time now.
I am with the Dark Inquisitor on this one.
Threaten to beat them to death with a stout stick.
If that doesn't work then get a stout stick and beat them to death with it.
It is the only language these people understand. It is a kind of retro-phrenology. Where phrenology reads the bumps on your head, retro-phrenology seeks to put the bumps there to give them the qualities you require - in this case positiveness. It used to be known as "knocking-some-sense-into-them".
Man-traps are good, but the screaming can keep the neighbours awake, or at least provoke comment.
You will probably find it is because you are being too good that they are balancing it with evil. Do not attempt to touch the person under any circumstances - there would probably be a small explosion.
:( And I was going to make us all Paella! :laugh:
One evening with my sister , and there might be nothing left of you but a dried husk who was once a human being !!I've seen it happen with my own eyes. You might not survive the interrogation process , where all men are dissected like small pieces of meat based on their profession, income, genetic history, and family background . Then they are scanned for too much intelligence , and possible undesirable independent and uncooperative tendencies . You would not be allowed to cook, and there might be Tupperware involved. A file would be started on you , and your reactions cataloged for future use . Your weaknesses would be pinpointed within 20 minutes , and you would be forced to into conversations on whatever made you most uncomfortable without any assent on your part . At this point , it is best to stick to yes or no answers - not that they will be accepted. Leaving immediately is really the best option , if you are still able to perambulate on your own . Subsequently , you could find yourself convinced you might have certain dread diseases .
You made several very good points in your message where you said (among other things)..."It might be like leaving an unlocked door hanging open in your aura with the welcome mat out." You hit the nail *precisely* on the head :)
I was just going through a thing like this tonight...wondering about love, trust and boundries, and boy, is it ever dicy ground! Generally I love people who I trust and respect, but there are so many intermediate states. It would be easier, far easier, to separate the shaft from the wheat that when people act in shady or malicious ways to just steer clear of them. Or maybe easier still to live entirely in the present and not anticipate probable future behaviors, but that seems like an easy way to get sucker-punched, too.
I'm definitely going to seek out the book you mentioned, asap :) There must be a middle ground where relatives are concerned, I've just yet to find it.
I also loved this line, "It's nice that you wish this sort of person relief , but really they're already finding it - by dumping all their crap on you ! I have a theory that this kind of person actually lives longer because they're busy purging themselves on the rest of us. "
Thank you, Dark Inquisitor :)
Hopefully Scott Peck's books + Energy Medicine will have the effect of helping me hone that much needed skill of learning to disarm darker intentioned individuals in harmless, yet effective ways, like you've found with your sister.
Please let us know how you get on with this problem . It's not easy when you're forced to have people like this in close proximity .