Death and Lovers

[ChairmanMeow]

Here's the background: A friend of mine loves a guy, They are friends, there is an attraction and they do flirt. He has been through a painful divorce (3yrs ago) and is conflicted on different matters regarding their relationship. communication can be sporadic, on a few weeks, and then nothing, and then back on. She loves him, but is not sure if it's worth hanging on. The sporadic communication confuses her. He's gemini if that matters. She has tried to be patient and see things from his perspective of hurt.

She asked the question, How will X react if I cut communication with him? (essentially, will he care or not). I did a one card pull and received Death. I know Death is about big changes, and transformations. I read this as her cutting him off would cause some large change him, but wasn't sure if the change would be a positive or negative one for my friend, so I pulled a clarifier which was Lovers. So now I'm really confused. Is the transformation a realization of his feelings for her (love) which may change his behaviors. Or is it that the transformation is it's over. However, if there was never a romantic relationship (other than flirting and attraction), where do the lovers come in??

Wouldn't 3 of cups a be better card if their relationship is only as friends?

Would appreciate any insight!
THanks!!!!

 

[Topaz_CharmTemple]

Interesting! Your friend's choice to cut off communication will result in a death of sorts. Things will end, things will change -- drastically. The Lovers could be a message that this relationship will flourish after a period of dormancy caused by the communication break, but I'm getting a sense that there's something else on the horizon. I'm reminded of the sun peaking over the mountains on the classic Rider-Waite Death card. Perhaps ending communication with this person will allow space in your friend's life for a *new* love to make its presence known?

 

[Tinkerbel]

Here's the background: A friend of mine loves a guy, They are friends, there is an attraction and they do flirt. He has been through a painful divorce (3yrs ago) and is conflicted on different matters regarding their relationship. communication can be sporadic, on a few weeks, and then nothing, and then back on. She loves him, but is not sure if it's worth hanging on. The sporadic communication confuses her. He's gemini if that matters. She has tried to be patient and see things from his perspective of hurt.

She asked the question, How will X react if I cut communication with him? (essentially, will he care or not). I did a one card pull and received Death. I know Death is about big changes, and transformations. I read this as her cutting him off would cause some large change him, but wasn't sure if the change would be a positive or negative one for my friend, so I pulled a clarifier which was Lovers. So now I'm really confused. Is the transformation a realization of his feelings for her (love) which may change his behaviors. Or is it that the transformation is it's over. However, if there was never a romantic relationship (other than flirting and attraction), where do the lovers come in??

Wouldn't 3 of cups a be better card if their relationship is only as friends?

Would appreciate any insight!
THanks!!!!

That can be confusing situation for sure :s but just to play 'devils advocate', if they are just friends with the occasional flirtation, then why is she expecting constant communication of him? They aren't officially dating right? So maybe Death is asking her to change her own behavior pattern and expectations. She can't change him so empowering herself is more important I feel. If that means cutting of all communication from her side then he will perceive it as complete ending (death) kind of choice (Lovers). I don't think he will react to it as he will see it as her decision out of free will.

 

[headincloud]

Death I'd read as an end to the relationship if she stopped communicating and the lovers is clarifying this. It's not an end to the sporadic communication neither is it initiating some drastic change in him imho. Lovers for me ties the ending of death into a relationship. There is a relationship between them whether it's physical or not is irrelevant.

You won't manipulate him with tactics but he might well respond to something else.

 

[spookyboo22]

Hi

Just a thought on what you said about the relevance of the lovers even though there was no proper relationship, sexual or just official without sex.
Unrequited love can be extremely powerful, as can really liking someone and it comes to nothing after aganising about it and talking endlessly to friends . I'm sure most people have experienced this at some point.
It is still a strong enough thing to invoke the lovers card imo definitely x

 

[ChairmanMeow]

Tinkerbel, Thanks for your input. No they are not dating, and she's not looking for constant communication, but they have been quite close and he will ghost for days at a time.

 

[ChairmanMeow]

SpookyBoo22, Interesting point about unrequited love. Thanks for the input.

Topaz_Charm, I like your idea of the sunrise and new love. I never thought about the hope of that sunrise in the Death card before.

headincloud, she has decided to write him and tell him her feelings. we will see what comes from that.

Thanks all!

 

[Tinkerbel]

Tinkerbel, Thanks for your input. No they are not dating, and she's not looking for constant communication, but they have been quite close and he will ghost for days at a time.

I understand but that sort of the point I'm trying to make. If they are not dating he has no reason to text her everyday. Men also aren't wired like that usually. This is more about her own need for validation it seems. She needs to find a way to feel at peace with not hearing from him every day. If that means cutting of all communication then thats what she needs to do but I feel she would just do that to entice a reaction from him. Death to me has a deeper meaning in this reading. Its about a change within her, lowering her expectation and feeling at ease with herself to be comfortable enough with not being in contact for a few days. If you are confident with yourself and busy with your own things you also don't pay attention to someone not texting back for a few days. If thats the attitude towards it then you also let the energy flow instead of 'pushing' it sort of speak. Thats why I mentioned empowering herself...there is a big lesson in the Death card for her.

 

[ChairmanMeow]

agreed, Tinkerbel, she needs to find confidence and happiness within herself so her expectations of him are not so high. I can see how that would push someone away. I really like your interpretation of the death card being about the transformations she needs to make within herself.
thanks!!!