Illness and Tarot

[SkadisPhoenix]

Since September I have been suffering from what is believed to be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. My latest blood tests have come back clear, which confirms it really. In case people don't know, this is where the sufferer has no energy to do things, in bad cases (such as mine, unfortunately), the sufferer can't even get out of bed some days.

With me, I often need help from my boyfriend to help me get dressed, he gets my food for me, makes me tea (which I often have to use a spoon to drink, as I don't even have the energy to lift up the mug... )

The major downside is that there are days, even weeks when I can't focus on tarot at all, I'll do a spread, and have to write it down for later, because I'll know there's something that I'm being told, but I cannot, for the life of me, work out what that message is.

Unfortunately, Your Readings isn't much help in that situation, as I need to put my interpretations up as well...

Is there anything that anybody can suggest? I've not got the money to pay for courses in things like reiki, I've got chakra things, and I've tried meditating to try and get my centre back, but nothing seems to work, and I have other learning difficulties, which meant that I have trouble retaining knowledge, which isn't helping at all. And I'm worried that my knowledge and understanding of tarot might be slipping away again, as a result of this illness.

 

[shamoness]

I also suffer from this dibillitating illness. I am sorry that you are going though this. Honestly, it just sucks!

That being said, I also have Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, and IBS. These are all Auto-immune illnesses. My doctor did some blood work for Vitamin D. It became apparent I have Th1 Inflammatory Disease. So we are working on the Marshall Protocol to atempt to put it into remission. Please look into this. Go to www.marshallprotocol.com and read up on it. Then take the info to your doctor. It might be what you need.

I know what you mean about having no memory for the cards. There are days when I can't remember simple words to have an intelligent conversation. I'll be talking and trying to tell someone to get something from the refridgerator but can't recall the word refridgerator. So I know what you are dealing with. Pull only a single card on these days and just look at it, you unconscious knows what the card is saying even if you can't define it. If you are to tired to write about it that day, just let it go.

If you need someone to talk to about this, feel free to PM or email me.

 

[SkadisPhoenix]

Thank you Shamoness.

I'm the same with the words, I have dyslexia as it is, AND I spent six months in Germany, and STILL find myself thinking in German at times, and there are times when I can think of the German word for what I want, and that's NO use whatsoever. The CFS isn't helped by a family trait of lower iron levels than "normal" people, the doctor thought it was anaemia for a while, but never mind.

That site, from what I can work out is American based, what would happen with English patients?

In the meantime, your suggestion of one card a day sounds like a good plan, thank you for suggesting it.

I just hope I can get used to getting myself better, as it were, with or without the Marshall Protocol, I'm 23, and before September, I'd had a month off from school/university in my entire life, if that, and now I've basically missed the whole year, which, luckily for me, my lecturers understand.

 

[Gennai]

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so poorly.

I have this too, about 5 years into it, but am a lot better.
Re: vitamin D thing is interesting, thanks Shamoness, I will look into this too.

Skadis, please bear in mind that you are in the early period of this illness, you may need to flow with this for a while. In the early stages it is virtually impossible to do anything and so anything you try the effort to do it may just be too much.

BE KIND
to yourself. Rest up in quiet, dark helps. Try sunglasses. I know daft. But it helped me in the early stages of this as it takes off the bright lights which can hurt and tire, even when you are at home.

TRY
avoiding caffeine. iT HELPS. I wasn't keen on doing this. I'd heard it could help and didn't try it until I was about two years into the illness, but you could try. Try for a few weeks. You may get a few headaches, but to be honest, with all the other symptoms you are probably experiencing, a headache to top it may be hard to put up with, but have a go. You can opt for decaffeinated teas/coffees, or try Redbush or Roobos teas, or water, juice ect.

SHIATSU.
I know you said money is tight, but if you can, save up and see if you can save enough for just a few sessions. This is a bit like accupuncture, but no needles, it works with energy points in your body. The therapist goes along with what you are feeling that week. I had only 4 sessions but it really helped me, it was what I feel set me on the road to a level that I could function at to help myself more.

The shiatsu therapist may come to you at home, which will help your energy levels. If they do not, you will have to get to them some how. That will take a lot of energy to do that, so you need to arrange someone to take you and collect you.

Make sure you get a therapist registered with the Shiatsu qualifications and that you see them. Be honest with the therapist as this helps, no being brave here! This is a scientifically proven therapy, like accupuncture is.

PAINS/FEVER/HOT/COLD:
Try taking dissolvable asprin to help with the pains you may be having and feeling hot/cold.... it helped a little with me, it is the pain thing and the fever thing that made me feel so poorly.

HELP WITH WALKING:
Try a walking stick near your bed. This is to help you get up and go to the bathroom. I know this sounds mad, but it can support you, as it is possible your legs give way with this and it may stop you from falling. It is also a good idea to help you to move from one room to another if you need to.

Retaining info, reading, writing, understanding:
this is at it's worst early on, and there is little you can do because of being so poorly, but eventually you can work on this to help it along, and it will get better, it just takes time.

DIET:
you may not feel hungry, which in some ways is good because of weight issues, also it is just so tiring to eat and often your energy may really dip during/after a meal. Try a balanced diet, a spoonful of protein, carbs (one type of carb only ie. potato OR pasta) and one spoonful of fruit or veg.

love and light, it will get better. Mine hasn't gone completely away, but it is a lot better and I am so much better than I was. But it takes time, and you need to know it takes time, try not to rush things as you may take 1 step forward and two back. Be gentle with yourself.

 

[SkadisPhoenix]

Gennai, thank you! I know it's most likely going to be around for a while, a good friend of mine had it when she was 15, more than 15 years ago now, and she still has a few days when she has to take back to her bed. That prospect terrifies me, to be honest, as I am 23, and I want to start a family in the next five or six years, and I'm terrified that I won't be able to look after my children properly, and that THEY will end up suffering as a result. I know it's a long time in the future, BUT at the same time, it's a condition that WILL be around for a while.

I have tried the caffeine thing, but I'm English, and whenever a problem happens, we literally DO put the kettle on and make ourselves a cup of tea, and it's something that I've had to go back to, drinking tea. The aspirin I'd never thought about before, so I will definately give that a try. The diet thing will unfortunately have to be put on hold until July, when M and I get to move into our new place, as M's kitchen is NOT somewhere to do cooking in, his housemates do drugs in there, and NEVER clean it. *shudders* Thank goodness I can get food from uni until the end of May.

The walking stick I CAN do, as I had a couple of accidents due to my Chronic Fatigue, and was given a pair of crutches by the doctor. I can only use them for limited periods of time, as I have a really bad back (my body does NOT like me. ), but for things like going to the loo, going to the kitchen to cook when M and I get the new place, they'll be handy.

 

[Gennai]

lol. I'm in Cheshire (UK) - She says, like a Cheshire Cat, grinning about the tea. Yes, I know how hard it is. But now I know it can make a difference, I always pull back from the caffeine when I have my off days, and there is decaffinated tea, it was the hardest thing for me to do that, and I still have the odd comfort caffeine loaded tea. It said on some tea I bought "Where there is tea, there is hope". !

 

[Grizabella]

I first got this in the early 80's. Whatever "this" was. It wasn't called anything but a figment of a hypchondriac's imagination at the time and I'm no hypochondriac. Then it morphed into a diagnosis of fibro. Now I'm fully enveloped by other, related stuff.

But don't worry about things you can't do right now. If all you can do is sleep, then sleep. Stress is your enemy and that's why caffeine is so bad for you. Caffeine heightens stress levels. Learn to trust that, whatever is happening now in your life, it's supposed to happen this way. Don't let yourself think down the road to when you're 40 and don't have a good job because you couldn't go to school now and your childbearing years passed you by because you couldn't muster the energy to have sex, much less have children. Learn to live in the moment. You can't live any moment but the present moment and in the present moment, you've got some good things going on.

As for Tarot, don't stress about that, either. If you can't retain anything mentally about Tarot, then just sleep. Tarot will be there when you wake up and feel better. If you're "concerned" about not being able to work with it, then you're actually causing yourself stress over it. Any anxiety, no matter how small, is stress. Stress is going to make it worse and prolong it. Your body is demanding a break, so let it take that break. Whatever needs doing, someone else will do it. If they don't, then it didn't need done all that badly.

 

[SkadisPhoenix]

Gennai, you should SEE my collection of tea though! I have about 20 different types! I'll have to head to Sainsbury's or send M to get some de-caf stuff. Tea is NOT something I can go without, I had to do that when I lived in Germany for six months. First thing I did was make a cup of tea when I landed back in England!

Grizabella, my parents STILL don't believe that it's anything other than hypochondria, they have actually said that I'm just being lazy (THEIR words), as have other people who I work with. I don't look ill, I just can't DO anything. I'm getting loads of my artwork done though, which is great, and I have had plenty of projects. And M is incredible, especially as this got worse shortly after we started dating, yet he's not gone anywhere, I didn't realise that anybody COULD be that supportive. AND he's actually supportive of my tarot reading too, which is a new thing for me to have happen!

He makes sure I don't do more than I can, and it has helped, even if I do keep getting worse.

Thank you for the kind words about tarot. It HAS been stressing me, as I am going to need to earn money somehow, and I thought I might start doing tarot readings online, but there are times when I look at the clearest readings, and it's only a day or two later that I can make head or tail of it.

 

[Bat Chicken]

Skadis - I'd love to see your art! That was/is an outlet for me when I was pretty bad for a couple of years - including making Tarot art. I thought I was going to throttle the next person who told me it was all in my head...

The hardest part for me now is dealing with relapses after having months of recovery. But getting those months comes from stopping the obsessing over what you eat or drink and just follow your instincts. And stress is the enemy - that I advocate avoiding, including the people who are not helpful!!

Hugs to you...

 

[SkadisPhoenix]

At the moment, most of what I've done has headed over to Wales, and I don't have a camera, but I spent a day decorating my knife block (I was bored! ), and I've been typing up a tarot deck I'm wanting to do, got to the court cards, which are taking a while.

I've also got design books, and have been doing door signs for various people I know (I live on university campus, so they're always useful... ). I'm actually really proud of them, even if they aren't "my" artwork...

Doing these signs, and bits of artwork here and there has been pretty much the only thing keeping me sane other than M.

One thing I can show is a wooden box which I was given from a charity shop, which needed a new paintjob on it, which I spent a couple of days sprucing up.

http://skadisphoenix.deviantart.com/gallery/#_browse/scraps