Killing your Confidence

[danny.mac85]

So your doing a reading for someone and you feel it is going pretty well (I don't do this very often for others) they look up at you and says:

"I think I'd rather have a professional do it."

"What do you mean by professional"

"You know, someone who has been doing it for ten years for money."

"How do you think the professionals got started?"

"Well, then someone who actually has a gift."

"Thanks man I appreciate that, telling me I don't have a gift just because I am telling you something you don't want to hear."

And really that's all it was he didn't like the message, but still it is hurtful and really has me feeling like I am never going to be able to get started reading for others because of my 'newness'. How do you get over that perception and secondly how do you work up the confidence to read for another person after that?

Danielle

 

[DownUnderNZer]

Just put it down to experience...you gonna nail some...and your not.

I wouldnt take it to heart and try not to take it personally...instead take from it what you can change and turn it around so that you do get better...and you will!

I do not like the word "gift"....we all have "abilities"....no one is unique or so above the other. Some just have stronger abilities than others...that is all.

Grin and bear it...negative feedback comes with the territory as does good feedback.

 

[Soaring Eagle]

So your doing a reading for someone and you feel it is going pretty well (I don't do this very often for others) they look up at you and says:

"I think I'd rather have a professional do it."

"What do you mean by professional"

"You know, someone who has been doing it for ten years for money."

"How do you think the professionals got started?"

"Well, then someone who actually has a gift."

"Thanks man I appreciate that, telling me I don't have a gift just because I am telling you something you don't want to hear."

And really that's all it was he didn't like the message, but still it is hurtful and really has me feeling like I am never going to be able to get started reading for others because of my 'newness'. How do you get over that perception and secondly how do you work up the confidence to read for another person after that?

Danielle

I am so sorry you had to experience that. I think everyone has someone like that at one time or another. You just need to keep in mind that just because they didn't like the outcome, it is no fault of your own. If you had said that everything was going well or looked like a positive outcome, he would have been thrilled, but later when things didn't turn out well he would have blamed you for being wrong. This sounds like it was a no win situation for you.

You know what the cards were saying. You know your deck and are obviously confident enough in your abilities to read for others. Don't let one persons bad attitude ruin this for you.

 

[KMilliron]

Gifts? Let's say I have an iPod touch, got it as a gift. Someone else has an iPod touch, bought it using their weekly paycheck. Who's iPod is better? Dude, they're both iPods, and whether or not a tarot reader was "gifted" with their skills, or they practiced for them, they still have skills. That's the way I see it.

 

[danny.mac85]

Just put it down to experience...you gonna nail some...and your not.

I wouldnt take it to heart and try not to take it personally...instead take from it what you can change and turn it around so that you do get better...and you will!

I do not like the word "gift"....we all have "abilities"....no one is unique or so above the other. Some just have stronger abilities than others...that is all.

Grin and bear it...negative feedback comes with the territory as does good feedback.

I believe we are all have abilities too, its hard to explain how he thinks, he is a skeptic but wants to believe in people having 'gifts' and believes that since I am not a person who is clairovoyant or sees spirits that I am not able to read cards. I don't even know why he asked but his buddy was getting a reading from me and so he just popped out a question. He is my brother by the way=) Thanks!

Danielle.

 

[danny.mac85]

I am so sorry you had to experience that. I think everyone has someone like that at one time or another. You just need to keep in mind that just because they didn't like the outcome, it is no fault of your own. If you had said that everything was going well or looked like a positive outcome, he would have been thrilled, but later when things didn't turn out well he would have blamed you for being wrong. This sounds like it was a no win situation for you.

You know what the cards were saying. You know your deck and are obviously confident enough in your abilities to read for others. Don't let one persons bad attitude ruin this for you.

Thank you!

He really didn't like the outcome of the reading. He is young and wants to move in with his buddies, but the cards indicated it not working out, and he refused to think that there would be any negatives standing in his way. It's all lifes a party and I can do want I want for him right now. Not much you can do with that, but it still put a dent in my confidence to hear my brother being so harsh.

Danielle

 

[SilverChrono]

Just put it down to experience...you gonna nail some...and your not.

I wouldnt take it to heart and try not to take it personally...instead take from it what you can change and turn it around so that you do get better...and you will!

I do not like the word "gift"....we all have "abilities"....no one is unique or so above the other. Some just have stronger abilities than others...that is all.

Grin and bear it...negative feedback comes with the territory as does good feedback.

I agree with this. We all got something within us that we use to focus. And if that dude wants to pay $50 for a reading to a "pro", he's more than happy to. You know your deck and got a connection, why would you have a reason to not to be truthful? You're doing fine

 

[danny.mac85]

Gifts? Let's say I have an iPod touch, got it as a gift. Someone else has an iPod touch, bought it using their weekly paycheck. Who's iPod is better? Dude, they're both iPods, and whether or not a tarot reader was "gifted" with their skills, or they practiced for them, they still have skills. That's the way I see it.

I wish I could have thought of that when he said that!!

Danielle

 

[Sakabu]

It happens... hopefully you are developed enough to realize your skill and it's good points. Then you can know whether or not this may have been a miss or not, weighing against the person's reluctance to message being delivered.

If it was a really heavy blow for you and you are relatively new or timid to reading, then you can step away for a day or so, refresh your mind and then come back with a fresher perspective. That apprehension and pressure can cloud your ability to tap into the cards early on if you don't vent it out somehow and continue to nurture your development.

I'm usually pretty good at picking out who will be the more arrogant ones beforehand so that really helps prevent me from becoming too frustrated. That can help smooth the reading process. I don't mind someone telling me I am wrong or being honest with me, at least I can try to accommodate or rephrase my message in a way that is easier understood (on points that aren't clear). Or maybe it is just an off day. Just don't pressure yourself too much.

Your intuition is really good to have for you in your own life. Being able to read for others is just a bonus.

 

[Bhavana]

I'd have sent him to the "pro" down the street, who would have given him a good reading alright, followed by a request for $200 to remove evil spells that had been put upon him by someone he knows...or maybe he would do better to try some of the online pros, I know of dozens who first picked up a tarot deck 6 months ago - though they won't admit that, and have many glowing reviews from former customers. They'll send him book definitions, word for word, for his money.

There are no better readers - maybe those with more experience have more finesse, more of a range, and yes, more ability to BS their way around a sticky reading - but the cards say what the cards say. Maybe he wanted flash, and was disappointed in reality. I think this especially because of his age. And because of movies and tv, people have unrealistic expectations. I wouldn't feel bad about it - and believe me, you want to thicken your skin a little, because it will probably happen again. There will be many good readings, and probably just as many misses. I remember going to a reader when I was in my 20's, she was incredible - knew what I did for a living, had the initials of people I was close to, etc etc. I sent a friend to her, and my friend got a lousy reading. I often think that in some cases, we just don't connect to other people, even in a reading situation. I read for family, friends, and sometimes it's good, sometimes it makes no sense. same when I read for myself. This is one of the reasons I don't read professionally - but then I just don't like dealing with people in general.

Hope this won't discourage you - but it's like anything else. You can't make everyone happy!