Non-attraction, disgust, disinterest, unrequited love- more to the star?

[autumnlover]

The star has kept my thoughts busy. I always thought it means hope, inspiration, healing, but it always pops up when the times are dark- showing that every dark cloud has a silver lining, that light is coming.....

However just recently I have chosen to do a reading for a friend for a man she was dating. She asked me about his impressions of her and about his overall experience with her. In the position as to what he felt during their short intimate, non-sexual encounter that involved kissing,one of the cards I pulled was the star card. I remember that I told her that this man feels open, generous, healing, pure love for her- something that was already noted in previous threads.
Well...I think I was proven wrong.
Thing is...
This woman told me that this was one of the best times she had in her life- that is before she found through friends that this man actually was badmouthing her later. ( a jerk, I know). I can only imagine the pain she feels now and feel sorry for her as I gave her hope. I should add that I also got the star card as his feelings for her- so I thought he too felt a special connection. And believing this I consider was a mistake.

Now, my theory is that the star card is really about unrequited, one sided love and attraction and I would like to hear your opinion if you also support this and what your experiences were. do you think I am missing something?

 

[starrystarrynight]

I've had more of those kinds of Star sightings in relationship readings than fluffy-puppy ones, myself--so I hear where you are coming from. So, what I think the overall energy of this card--FOR ME-- is that the situation/relationship needs some sort of healing and that as it stands, what the seeker is [immediately] hoping or wishing for is out of reach. But that's because that energy (that relationship) is simply not good for her. However, if she keeps the faith, the overall scheme of things for her will work out and she'll get through it with more and better dreams ahead. It's sort of telling the seeker that this current heartache she's going through is just a blip on the radar, and she may need to look at the bigger picture...which is that with life, there is hope, and she may need to and deserve to hook her chariot to a bigger or brighter star (or some such blather...)

 

[cricket]

I agree with SSN.

When the star pops up in this type of context, in my experience, it's because there are more important things at hand. What needs immediate attention is the water, next to worry about is the tree, and far far away somewhere is that star - not close enough to even think about, really.

Another way to think of it is that he sees himself as just -that far- above her. Thing is, down here where the rest of us are, stars are seen as cold, heartless, distant things that we wonder about. Not to mention the fact that what we see is light years behind what it was when it started coming out way. Makes him a bit slow, right?

 

[WalesWoman]

The question was what does he feel about her... maybe the clue was in the card. I'm thinking in RWS with your 20/20 hindsight of him being a jerk afterwards, so it could be divided loyalty or acting one way while thinking another, since there are two pitchers pouring it on in two different places... one into the pool, the other onto parched earth. So for one, he wasn't putting all of himself into this in the first place and two, he's just a jerk that will "kiss & tell"... pouring that water on those little plants to feed the gossip grind.

 

[Thirteen]

Don't feel bad!

it could be divided loyalty or acting one way while thinking another, since there are two pitchers pouring it on in two different places... one into the pool, the other onto parched earth. So for one, he wasn't putting all of himself into this in the first place and two, he's just a jerk that will "kiss & tell"... pouring that water on those little plants to feed the gossip grind.

I was thinking the same thing, WW--and I LOVE the way you put it!

Autumn, a couple of things to remember. First, you may not have been wrong about his feelings--when he kissed her. But people have a tendency to "feel" one thing and say another if they think that telling the truth will either get them mocked or won't make them as popular. He may well be denying his feelings.

Still a jerk, but you told her what he was "feeling"--not what he was going to say about it.

Second, keep in mind that the Star, at least by way of Golden Dawn associations, is Aquarius. Though it is about hope and healing, it is also a card of distance and the long-term view. Not the best card to get in regards to romantic feelings. He might have kissed her and felt that what he wanted from the relationship was possible, but going to take too much time and effort to get to.

The Star only says that the feeling was that what he wanted was in the future, not now and that there was hope of reaching it if he was willing to put in the effort. It doesn't say whether or not he felt it worth going the distance to get to that future. Which is the other thing to keep in mind: what he might have viewed as a "hopeful future" for him is not the same as what your friend might have viewed as "hopeful future" for her.

What you did as a reader is very common and you shouldn't feel bad about it. You looked at the Star and thought about your friend, what she wanted to hear about herself, her feelings, her hopes. It made you put what you saw about his feeling in terms that likely applied more to her than to him. But it might not have been wrong. It just didn't take into account that whatever "hope" he felt, he might not want to go for it. Nor did it take into account the discrepancy between what he might have felt at that moment, vs. what he might feel later and, thus say about it to friends.

 

[autumnlover]

Hi Guys,
many thanks for your great replies and for dropping by


Cricket: I have never seen this from this point of view, but I think you are very right that the man could be represented by the ' star' rather than the woman pouring those cups.

Waleswoman: A very good insight, one I would never have thought of. Now that you mention it: if the water in the pitchers stems from the same source- and the woman is pouring out everything whilst being vulnerable, maybe it should be interpreted as 'limited' sources. i.e. limited feeling at one time ( just till the pitcher is refilled). It is interesting that you did come up to the conclusion of 'divided loyality or acting one way while thinking another' as I would have thought that this is more an attribute of the eg. the 2 of wands/pentacles, 7 of swords. How did you come up with this?

Thirteen: What a joy to have you here in my thread About your conclusions: You are right, telling his true feelings to his friends or family could indeed bring him problems from what she told me. might even be unacceptable. That's one of the reasons why I thought the two of them are star-crossed. However, since I associate the star card currently with tough times- nothing comfortable but where you have to continue on the dark, lonely road- I wonder if the overall encounter with her was uncomfortable for him or in short a case of one sided attraction/love.

and so I wonder if any of you had any personal experiences in getting this card for lack of chemistry?

Starrynight: you mention something about having some Star sightings in relationship readings and would be grateful if you share this with us. A penny for your thoughts, my dear ( without sounding too curious )


On another note, I know I should be ignoring the white booklet that comes with the RW deck, but it says abandonment, theft- don't you think that the star card is that what it means in relationship readings- being depleted/robbed off faith and with it comes the need for healing.

Well, I could go on endlessly discussing cards.Too much coffein and thoughts go round and round in my head. Anyone who bothers to make my lightbulb go on is very welcomed.... Love those Eureka moments....

 

[WalesWoman]

I got the divided part from the two pitchers, The Star isn't the vulnerable woman but the guy... and what he is giving out. The woman is actually the pool, so he acts one way, pouring out just as much as he wants or needs to into it, while at the same time pours out something else from the other pitcher, onto a newly sprouted field and that divides even more... which is the gossip being spread around and soaked up.


Tho' it could be that he is acting one way and talking another because of what he fears, which was a very good point. Getting a hard time from his buddies or whatever has even more influence on him... since the source of the Stars energy comes from outside of himself from the Universe. I don't think limited resources has anything to do with it. The Star, the energy, the source comes from outside of ones self, the woman is the conduit and through her the pitchers are always flowing. It depends on what IS his Universe, it could be is own ego and being filled with himself.

 

[starrystarrynight]

Starrynight: you mention something about having some Star sightings in relationship readings and would be grateful if you share this with us. A penny for your thoughts, my dear ( without sounding too curious )

Without commenting on any spreads done for clients, if you look at the Your Readings section here at the number of times the Star comes up in a relationship reading, and the number of times it actually ends up being very positive and meaning some sort of dream-come-true or happily-ever-after, you will see what I mean. Seekers who post there more often than not are sadly surprised when a Star-enforced relationship reading ends poorly instead of happily "in real life."

To be fair, a lot of times it shows up ill-dignified and the seekers are, themselves, sometimes less objective than they should be when reading for themselves...but, never-the-less the proof [there] seems to be in the pudding...

 

[nisaba]

that is before she found through friends that this man actually was badmouthing her later. ( a jerk, I know). I can only imagine the pain she feels now and feel sorry for her as I gave her hope. I should add that I also got the star card as his feelings for her- so I thought he too felt a special connection. And believing this I consider was a mistake.

Perhaps it wasn't about "a special connection " for him, but for his *HOPING* for a special connection. When it didn't happen, he felt disappointed, may even have felt that she misled him or betrayed him in some way by not being what he was HOPING for (the Star). So he now doesn't have a lot good to say about her.

I don't think the Star with its message of hope for the future of the relationship in him, was wrong at all. It's just that he was disappointed in that hope.

 

[Perris]

Perhaps it wasn't about "a special connection " for him, but for his *HOPING* for a special connection. When it didn't happen, he felt disappointed, may even have felt that she misled him or betrayed him in some way by not being what he was HOPING for (the Star). So he now doesn't have a lot good to say about her.

I don't think the Star with its message of hope for the future of the relationship in him, was wrong at all. It's just that he was disappointed in that hope.

I agree with nisaba.