Reading Using Inana's Relationship Spread

[Chimerical]

I did a reading today about my current, long-term relationship, using Inana's spread here on the forum. I found the results pretty confusing to be honest! Most of "his" cards seem to confirm what I already believed about the situation, but then the last three seem optimistic... Any input would be more than welcome.

I'm not a big "sharer," but long story short... Our relationship isn't going very well right now. I'm constantly hovering on the verge of cutting my losses, but there are some circumstances that make that complicated (only one of which is our 11 month old son). I wanted to see if the Tarot had any insights I was missing, particularly as my boyfriend is incredibly averse to sharing his emotions with me. We broke up briefly a few months ago, but we got back together with promises that he'd come to realize he truly did value me and our relationship (though has never returned my love, but hoped to). At this point, I just feel very silly sitting in this unhappy relationship, but he does little things that give me (probably false) hope, and I can't help but want this relationship to work out for several reasons.

The spread works as follows:

1-What do I feel?
2-What does the other feel?
3-What do I bring to the relationship?
4-What does the other brings to the relationship?
5-How I see the other?
6-How the other see me?
7-What do I need in this relationship?
8-What does the other need in this relationship?
9-What does the relationship need?
10-What we are not seeing/aware of?
11-Where is the relationship going?

And this is what I drew:

1. 7 of Swords: I feel like I'm being deceptive by not telling him that I'm so unhappy in our relationship, that I'm betraying his trust by thinking of pretending I'm happy just for the sake of convenience--like I'd be using him. (One of the big reasons I want to stay together is the financial stability factor.)

Alternately, I feel like the things he said when we were getting back together were empty words and lies. I feel betrayed, in a sense, by his apparent inability to love me. I think he's here for our son (which is lovely), but not for me.

2. 8 of Cups: He's disappointed by our relationship. He wants to leave, or at least yearns for something different--maybe with me, more likely elsewhere.

3. 4 of Swords: I'm at a loss here... The only thing I can think is that I'm the reflective one of the two of us. I pour (oftentimes ridiculous amounts of) time and energy into thinking and over-thinking things; while he is... highly un-introspective.

4. 2 of Wands: This one also has me confused, because this card seems like his very antithesis. He never strays from his comfort zone, and he doesn't do much planning or any such thing. He is working through the process of getting a better job? But that seems pretty superficial for this position.

5. The Star: I see him as hope in the term of promises if our relationship pans out--a family unit, financial stability, romantic joy... though these hopes are tenuous. I also see the potential for moving past what's happened between us in the last year and a half and finding healing and renewal for our relationship, and a peaceful and happy future together. (This card struck me as awfully positive for its position--could I be missing a more tumultuous side of The Star card?)

6. 8 of Swords: He sees me as a "ball and chain," so to speak. He's stuck with me, and knows he could leave, but doesn't feel like it's really an option--probably partly because he's afraid of what his friends and family would think, and partly because it would mean some degree of separation from our son.

7. Death: I need our relationship to change or end. This is pretty straightforward, and no surprise to me, so maybe I'm not reading enough into it--feel free to add a nuance that my biased brain might be missing!

8. King of Swords: I feel like there are a lot of ways this could be interpreted:

- Could mean he needs to feel like an intellectual equal or superior; he's definitely intimidated by my intelligence (I'm a definite bookworm).

- Could mean he needs the relationship to be less about emotion and more a rational understanding; that he needs us to be together not out of love, but for our mutual responsibility for our son.

- Most positive take on it: Maybe he just needs us to sit and have a calm and honest conversation about things. (Though this doesn't sound like him at all.)

9. Knight of Swords: Our relationship needs us to give ourselves fully to working on things--especially communication.

10. Knight of Pentacles: Another one I found sort of muddy... Maybe that we need to realize we're both being stubborn and need to find ways to compromise and be open to change? Or maybe that we need to know that we're both committed to making our relationship work, and can do so if we really work at it?

11. Page of Wands: This card completely confuses me. The spread seems to go from negative, to tentatively optimistic, to totally positve with this card--unless I interpret it as representing us breaking up, and it being a really positive thing for our relationship as co-parents and friends (which doesn't seem to really be in the spirit of the card).

It seems more like it's saying that if we work at things, our relationship could change into something wonderful that we're both enthusiastic and happy about. (I'd love to believe that's what it's saying! But it seems a bit incongruent with the rest of the reading.)

Thanks, in advance, for taking the time to read this monstrosity of a post haha! Really looking forward to hearing someone else's thoughts.

 

[headincloud]

1-What do I feel?
2-What does the other feel?
3-What do I bring to the relationship?
4-What does the other brings to the relationship?
5-How I see the other?
6-How the other see me?
7-What do I need in this relationship?
8-What does the other need in this relationship?
9-What does the relationship need?
10-What we are not seeing/aware of?
11-Where is the relationship going?

1. 7 of Swords: Deception, being taken advantage of, putting something over on others. Could also be self deception.

2. 8 of Cups: discontent, thinking of leaving.

3. 4 of Swords: Are you the one who lifts the pressure off him in the relationship perhaps.

4. 2 of Wands: Should I stay or should I leave the relationship? is what he may be contemplating especially with 8C.

5. The Star: Hope for the relationship.

6. 8 of Swords: He may feel trapped in a situation he can't see his way out of.

7. Death: Change or the end.

8. King of Swords: Can bring a debate or conversation, communication for want of a better word. Also typically a bachelor hence he may be struggling in a relationship, denial of personal happiness.

9. Knight of Swords: Often brings in a conflict situation, worrying because it also can signify a departure though I'm not saying it does necessarily, also blunt, honest and direct communication so things are moving here.

10. Knight of Pentacles: You may be making slow and steady progress that is slipping by unnoticed. He comes across as an impartial detached man in KS but he's loyal and progressive none the less.

11. Page of Wands: I feel this is your son from one angle but with regard the relationship it suggests a certain enthusiasm and a fresh direction. This is the card of the initiator and you may already have an idea to try and communicate and work through things but the outcome remains open to question.

There may be travel or a break coming up?

 

[Chimerical]

1. 7 of Swords: Deception, being taken advantage of, putting something over on others. Could also be self deception.

Oh, I hadn't thought about self-deception. I definitely wonder, often, how much I'm deceiving myself about things.

3. 4 of Swords: Are you the one who lifts the pressure off him in the relationship perhaps.

I'm not sure, to be honest. I'll have to reflect on it!

4. 2 of Wands: Should I stay or should I leave the relationship? is what he may be contemplating especially with 8C.

Do you think this still makes sense as an interpretation of what he brings to the relationship?

8. King of Swords: Can bring a debate or conversation, communication for want of a better word. Also typically a bachelor hence he may be struggling in a relationship, denial of personal happiness.

Regarding the bachelor thing: I think (psychoanalysing lol!) that he's got a bachelor personality, but his insecurities lead him to seek out long-term commitments because they give him a sense of security. Interesting catch; I hadn't thought about the card that way.

10. Knight of Pentacles: You may be making slow and steady progress that is slipping by unnoticed. He comes across as an impartial detached man in KS but he's loyal and progressive none the less.

I really like this interpretation of progress I'm not noticing. I think we've definitely both been making efforts, I'm just not sure how meaningful they are. Perhaps this card could be telling me they are?

Thanks so much for your insights, and the considerable time they must have taken!

 

[headincloud]

Thanks for fb I see the 2W as a time when there's little actively happening but we're planning, contemplating, sometimes negotiating. Within a relationship it's generally not a good card because one partner starts to withdraw through discontent and itchy feet, grass is always greener. I see that as the energy he's bringing into the relationship but I'm not claiming these interpretations are correct.

 

[Chimerical]

Ahh gotcha. I hadn't thought of energy as being something you bring to the relationship. I'd also only considered the position as being something positive for the relationship itself.

This is only my second big spread so I guess I need to work on trying to think outside my own mental box haha.