My own particular experience is that you don't choose shamanism, it chooses you. It descends on you with immense force, pulling your life apart. It's then up to you to pick the fragments up off the floor, and try to piece them together in some meaningful way that is different to the old way.
I have heard this so many times, and it makes a lot of sense to me. This has sort of happened to me as well, and some of this time, I have just thought I'd give up totally on my spiritual path. What was the reason for it anyway with all the crap going on in my life? Id be so low, but I realize that sometimes you have to hit the rock bottom to truly find yourself. Its still at times difficult, but little by little I seem to be moving forward and then re-embracing my spiritual path. Perhaps this is exactly what I need to do, and I am told it is by other shamans that I've met along the way.
Like you, it happened to me at an early age too, and I'm the same age as yourself, and still trying to put myself back together! thank goodness there is no time limit on all this.
I believe I've been broken down and am in the process of reassembling myself, at least mentally. I've been extremely non-functional, have dropped out of school twice, and ended up in the hospital for the past two Novembers. I need to find a new way because obviously ignoring it isn't making it go away. I found Shamanism last year. I don't even remember HOW I discovered it, I was just drawn to it I think. The more research I did and books I read the more I felt like it was my path towards healing myself and maybe eventually others.
Yes, why I also decided to post this post here. I have heard and I do believe that we have to hit the rock bottom to re-build ourselves, if you will. I still fall off the path now and again and become disheartened about it all, but then I somehow find myself picking up where I left off and going on.
I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced such hardships too, but its wonderful that you're finding the path that will prove beneficial for you. They do say, when the pupil is ready, the teacher will come. The teacher is not always a 'person'--but can be something else--and for you, shamanism is it.
I studied an anthropology course this summer where I read a book about the Shamans of the Chilean Mapuche tribe and it was interesting, but when I started researching in order to write the required essay I found I am more experienced with what the articles called "modern western Shamanism". But some of what I read said modern Shamanism and neo-Shamanism was looked down upon as pop-psychology?
All I know is, what I'm doing is helping me heal so I'm going to keep doing it.
so interesting! I often think about taking a course in anthropology myself, but have not yet done so. I also am interested in archeology and once had an opportunity to join in on a 'dig' in the area where we lived. I often kick myself for not joining in on it now. But, if the opportunity presents itself again--I will!
as for your last line, "Modern Shamanism and neo-shamanism was looked down upon as pop-psychology", yes, I know it is. However, I have a thought about this myself, though I am not a shaman--that the world is changing and with it views about the world must change too. If we aren't to accept people who decide to study and become a shaman, then that very practice could very well fall apart and disappear. I know I'll probably catch a lot of flack for that thought--but so be it.
I have a friend/old neighbor, who was a very good craftsman and had learned to build boats. He was also very taken with the Japanese culture and studied that as well as study everything he could on his craft. At one point, he tried to get in on a class in Japan to learn how to build a specific boat that was known only in this culture, but tradition had it passing down solely from father to son. Since my friend was not of Japanese ancestry, the masters who were opening up the classes to other Japanese men refused to accept him. However, it became apparent years later that the men in Japan were not interested in learning the craft and soon there was only one Master left, and he, growing old. So, he finally and grudgingly relented and sent word to "D" that he would take him on and teach him the craft.
"D" spent a few years in Japan, living and working and learning beside this Master and he became a master of it himself. A few years later, back in the U.S. the family of the old Master was in touch to tell "D" that he had passed away and was now gone. This left only "D" as a master of this craft--with some Japanese people still not happy about it. It was a few more years later that the government of Japan contacted him to ask him if he would be willing to come back to Japan and teach it to some of the people there again. He agreed and moved again back to Japan with his wife in tow. He passed on his knowledge and the people in class, men and women now--are continuing on with their heritage of making this specific fishing boat that was only found in their culture.
So, if it can be so with a fishing boat, why not with anything and everything? Why not Shamanism?
