Stalemate Spread

[Tara]

Hi
Here is a Stalemate Spread I did for my own issue with a woman I work closely with. Three days a week, we are the only two in our area in charge of vulnerable adults. Although we both earn the same and neither have a contract, she has the most experience and is senior to me. She does not communicate to me regarding work and I often hear the news through clients instead. This I need to sort assertively and I need your advice, as i am afraid I will make it worse if I do not say the right thing to her. I used the World Spirit Tarot and got

1. The overall conflict/situation – Knight of Wands (Seeker) – We are both driven to succeed or at least we are both hard workers who bring a lot to the table and use our initiative. I want to progress and I now have the qualification to have her job if it were available. She is more easy-going than I am and has the upper hand and is keeping me down I feel, by not keeping me informed. I am in the rebellious mood now and sick of it and her. I want to deal with it assertively sooner rather than later as it is obvious we don’t like each other. I don’t know if she is being thoughtless or simply bullying me as she also ignores me sometimes when I ask her a question but I can’t prove she heard me, so…
2. How they really feel about you – Five of Wands – She feels like I am competitive or maybe she feels that we are both competing with each other and there is jealousy involved and power struggle perhaps. She is well aware there is conflict between us, (close to the surface on my side, but she has no idea probably how much it upsets me, or does she).
3. How you really feel about them – The Hanged Man – I think she has ulterior motives for keeping me down and is deliberately not communicating with me, not just on a professional level but also a personal one.
4. Common Grounds (what the 2 of you have in common and can use to help the situation) – Eight of Cups – We are both unhappy in that area and want to move on and forward. She gets the same pay as I do for leading in our little space and we are both relief workers without a contract. Neither is fulfilled in that sense.
5. Outcome – Seven of Cups – We could both have choices when I speak to her, if that is what I should do. I need to but am unsure how or what to say exactly. It will reveal our deepest fears and hopes for the future at working together. The guy in the card looks relaxed and happy, so I am taking it to mean things will improve for our working relationship. This is the most difficult card and the 4th part too for me to figure out what to do and say and what will the outcome be.

Regards
tara

 

[Amanda]

1. The overall conflict/situation – Knight of Wands (Seeker) – We are both driven to succeed or at least we are both hard workers who bring a lot to the table and use our initiative. I want to progress and I now have the qualification to have her job if it were available. She is more easy-going than I am and has the upper hand and is keeping me down I feel, by not keeping me informed. I am in the rebellious mood now and sick of it and her. I want to deal with it assertively sooner rather than later as it is obvious we don’t like each other. I don’t know if she is being thoughtless or simply bullying me as she also ignores me sometimes when I ask her a question but I can’t prove she heard me, so…

Positive: You/you both act quickly to get done what needs to be done.
Negative: You/you both may react too quickly, rather than respond, to negativity or conflict.

2. How they really feel about you – Five of Wands – She feels like I am competitive or maybe she feels that we are both competing with each other and there is jealousy involved and power struggle perhaps. She is well aware there is conflict between us, (close to the surface on my side, but she has no idea probably how much it upsets me, or does she).

Positive: She feels that you can rise to a challenge.
Negative: She feels that you are defensive and need more help than you ask for.

3. How you really feel about them – The Hanged Man – I think she has ulterior motives for keeping me down and is deliberately not communicating with me, not just on a professional level but also a personal one.

Positive: Somewhere in there, you may see and appreciate the personal sacrifices this person makes for the benefit of others.
Negative: You feel she is unresponsive to you.

4. Common Grounds (what the 2 of you have in common and can use to help the situation) – Eight of Cups – We are both unhappy in that area and want to move on and forward. She gets the same pay as I do for leading in our little space and we are both relief workers without a contract. Neither is fulfilled in that sense.

Both of you want something more meaningful for yourselves.

5. Outcome – Seven of Cups – We could both have choices when I speak to her, if that is what I should do. I need to but am unsure how or what to say exactly. It will reveal our deepest fears and hopes for the future at working together. The guy in the card looks relaxed and happy, so I am taking it to mean things will improve for our working relationship. This is the most difficult card and the 4th part too for me to figure out what to do and say and what will the outcome be.

It appears the outcome is showing that you will have to take the bad with the good. With regard to what you should do: make the best choices you can make to foster a positive working relationship; I don't think you even have to talk to her really -- the HM is pretty good indication that you should simply be the change you would like to see. If you want respect from her, show her respect. If you want friendliness from her, show her friendliness. Whatever you want, start behaving that way to positively influence her to do the same.

Just some thoughts, hope it helps!

 

[arcange]

What positions where the cards in? For me this is important on how the cards read.

I see the KnoW connected to the 7 C. Like very quickly you could get offered a choice, 7C

You may both want this position/ thing and she might already know about it.

5 W seems like she is playing with you, she thrives on the power struggle and the daily battle.

Hanged man- ulterior motives makes sense but also you might be trying to figure out where she is coming from. This card tells me that this situation will not last long.

8C both want to quit the situation. I think it will be over soon enough because of Hanged Man is getting a new view on the surroundings. He knows that this period is temporary even though he's suffering like hell.

7 C the big choice... . ... The choice might be something where you work already. The thing I've seen with 7C is that we get too much to choose from and if you dilly daddy the choice might evaporate. The KnoW is quick to come with a purpose and doesn't have much patience. Choose the best. Forget the rest of those 8C.

I see this situation as ending soon. HM says you have to suffer thru it and 8C says you'll soon be done with it. It's like this woman and her conflict psychosis is already history.

 

[Tara]

What positions where the cards in? For me this is important on how the cards read.

I see the KnoW connected to the 7 C. Like very quickly you could get offered a choice, 7C

Hi Arcange. I put the cards side by side from the left to right. A few medium told me that my new diploma will open doors for me so I am applying for more jobs as we speak and am willing to leave the company if I get a better offer.

You may both want this position/ thing and she might already know about it.

5 W seems like she is playing with you, she thrives on the power struggle and the daily battle.
I am pretty sure she must know she is competing with me. There is a cock in the card and two men, of differing skin colour, with swords up and battle started.

Hanged man- ulterior motives makes sense but also you might be trying to figure out where she is coming from. This card tells me that this situation will not last long.
I hope you are right here too, as I have been working with her for 9 months now approx. I am trying to figure her out and what is going on in her head to treat me this way. I wasn't aware the Hanged Man was about shortlived situations too but glad to hear it. I just realized it could also be me suffering it for a greater cause. In other words, I do not want to look bad if management see I cannot deal with her or this issue without making a song and dance about it so... I feel I am stuck but I will not stay there long term with her.

8C both want to quit the situation. I think it will be over soon enough because of Hanged Man is getting a new view on the surroundings. He knows that this period is temporary even though he's suffering like hell.
I agree but what action does the 8 of cups represent? Is it telling me to move from the area to another job or company to get away from her?

7 C the big choice... . ... The choice might be something where you work already. The thing I've seen with 7C is that we get too much to choose from and if you dilly daddy the choice might evaporate. The KnoW is quick to come with a purpose and doesn't have much patience. Choose the best. Forget the rest of those 8C.
Ok, so you see another job offer with my company perhaps or in a different area? So it is telling me to take action and not put up with the crap too as I do have options?

I see this situation as ending soon. HM says you have to suffer thru it and 8C says you'll soon be done with it. It's like this woman and her conflict psychosis is already history.

Thanks a lot for the great reading and for the positive ending to it too. I was beginning to wonder if I was imagining it and i was the one with the problem, because she is a very popular woman.

Regards
Tara

 

[arcange]

Thanks a lot for the great reading and for the positive ending to it too. I was beginning to wonder if I was imagining it and i was the one with the problem, because she is a very popular woman.

Regards
Tara

I can't say what the 8 C might mean but it is letting go of something. I see it as been there done that. The 7 C might mean you get an offer from your company and other offers. What I learned from 7 C is to choose what what best suits you.

I'm glad my interpretation made some sense.

 

[Tara]

I can't say what the 8 C might mean but it is letting go of something. I see it as been there done that. The 7 C might mean you get an offer from your company and other offers. What I learned from 7 C is to choose what what best suits you.

I'm glad my interpretation made some sense.

Thanks again. It is all positive anyway, and as I applied for another job within the same company, who knows.

Regards
Tara

 

[Amanda]

Hi Tara,
I'm checking in with you to see if my interpretations on your spread were helpful.

 

[Tara]

Hi Tara,
I'm checking in with you to see if my interpretations on your spread were helpful.

Hi Amanda
How are you? I saw your reply days ago and replied but for some reason it did't go through. So sorry. Don't know how it happened so will respond in your mail.

Regards
tara

 

[Tara]

Hi Tara,
I'm checking in with you to see if my interpretations on your spread were helpful.

That is really weird Amanda. I replied the other day but it has not gone through so when I saw your mail now I again gave a brief reply but it didn't go through. So anyway, here I am trying again. I am so sorry as I am usually on the ball as I really appreciate responses and help from everyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tara View Post
1. The overall conflict/situation – Knight of Wands (Seeker) – We are both driven to succeed or at least we are both hard workers who bring a lot to the table and use our initiative. I want to progress and I now have the qualification to have her job if it were available. She is more easy-going than I am and has the upper hand and is keeping me down I feel, by not keeping me informed. I am in the rebellious mood now and sick of it and her. I want to deal with it assertively sooner rather than later as it is obvious we don’t like each other. I don’t know if she is being thoughtless or simply bullying me as she also ignores me sometimes when I ask her a question but I can’t prove she heard me, so…
Positive: You/you both act quickly to get done what needs to be done.
Negative: You/you both may react too quickly, rather than respond, to negativity or conflict.

That is probably true of both of us and particularly me at a guess.

Quote:
2. How they really feel about you – Five of Wands – She feels like I am competitive or maybe she feels that we are both competing with each other and there is jealousy involved and power struggle perhaps. She is well aware there is conflict between us, (close to the surface on my side, but she has no idea probably how much it upsets me, or does she).
Positive: She feels that you can rise to a challenge.
Negative: She feels that you are defensive and need more help than you ask for.

I can rise to a challenge and enjoy them in fact, so that is good. I have no idea if she feels I am defensive but I certainly feel she is abrupt and cool and sharp with her tongue and bossy so it is possible she feels that. I like people to speak to me with respect, which I don't feel she does. As regards asking for help, she ignores me sometimes so she is often the last one I will go to if I need help which is rare.

Quote:
3. How you really feel about them – The Hanged Man – I think she has ulterior motives for keeping me down and is deliberately not communicating with me, not just on a professional level but also a personal one.
Positive: Somewhere in there, you may see and appreciate the personal sacrifices this person makes for the benefit of others.
Negative: You feel she is unresponsive to you.

She does work hard as do I and she has a young family at home. Yes, she is unresponsive to me.

Quote:
4. Common Grounds (what the 2 of you have in common and can use to help the situation) – Eight of Cups – We are both unhappy in that area and want to move on and forward. She gets the same pay as I do for leading in our little space and we are both relief workers without a contract. Neither is fulfilled in that sense.
Both of you want something more meaningful for yourselves.

I do for sure and she admitted in a rare brief chat, that she is not happy either as she gets the same pay as I do for a more senior role. We are both aware that working together is no fun.


Quote:
5. Outcome – Seven of Cups – We could both have choices when I speak to her, if that is what I should do. I need to but am unsure how or what to say exactly. It will reveal our deepest fears and hopes for the future at working together. The guy in the card looks relaxed and happy, so I am taking it to mean things will improve for our working relationship. This is the most difficult card and the 4th part too for me to figure out what to do and say and what will the outcome be.
It appears the outcome is showing that you will have to take the bad with the good. With regard to what you should do: make the best choices you can make to foster a positive working relationship; I don't think you even have to talk to her really -- the HM is pretty good indication that you should simply be the change you would like to see. If you want respect from her, show her respect. If you want friendliness from her, show her friendliness. Whatever you want, start behaving that way to positively influence her to do the same.

I am more friendly to her so how much more friendly do I have to be for God sake. I will keep trying though as the outcome is good and the reading was very good. Thanks so much for it Amanda. I think that when I posted this, it didn't go because it was too long or something as i did notice a couple of times with other readings that happened. Maybe it is because I responded in the original note?

Regards
Tara


Just some thoughts, hope it helps!
Amanda is offline Report Post

 

[Amanda]

Thanks for the feedback Tara
Sometimes if I spend a lot of time writing and click to post, the site will kick me off and I'll lose it. No worries!