The 4 of cups.

[Adjustment]

Can someone help me to figure out what the 4 of cups is saying, it has been coming a lot when reading for my sister about a relationship, I have even used different decks and this card shows up everytime. is this card saying that the person is not interested or that they are meditating before taking any action. is the person aware of the cup being offered, or perhaps they see the cup but choose not to take it. I'm very confused with this card.

 

[lark]

They might still be thinking about their last relationship so can't see the new love being offered to them.

 

[Thirteen]

Daydreaming....

Can someone help me to figure out what the 4 of cups is saying, it has been coming a lot when reading for my sister about a relationship, I have even used different decks and this card shows up everytime. Does this card mean that the person is not interested or that they are meditating before taking any action.

It means that the person is daydreaming about someone else/something else. It's not that your sister (or whoever she's involved with) is going to leave the relationship or have an affair. Merely that they are a little bored with the relationship.

It's leveled off, gotten conventional, quiet. The initial passion and pazzaz is vanishing. And now and then the participants (or one of the participants) daydreams of maybe having a fling with someone else. Now that someone else may be real...or they could be daydreaming about sex with a movie star.

But the 4/Cups, like all 4's, is stable and unmoving. The person may be having unfaithful thoughts, but they're a little comfortable or lazy to act on those thoughts. They're indulging in the idea, but not acting on it.

 

[YDM42]

Hi, this card comes up a lot for me. It's confusing because in some decks this card is actually called "temptation". That meaning is inappropiate for me- especially when it has to do with my family or work- I'm single- uninvolved with anyone. i go with the meaning "self-absorbed"- as a leo and an aritist it describes me perfectly. Once things are going well it's easy for me to get into my work or my ideas creating and block everyone else out. I close my office door and I'm in heaven. The card confused me because the person in the card has his arms crossed and he does not look happy or content, no he does not look bored- he looks unhappy - that kind of goes against the 4's in general- 4 wands celebration and maybe exclusivity- 4-swords mediation-4 pents-control-possessive. So I dont know what it means with your sister- but for me 4's are all about me- not other people or including other people- what I mean is that the situation is not provoked by another person or even looking out or seeking out another person or situation.
No matter what situation i ask about, 90% of the time the outcome will be the 4 of cups for me.

 

[LixiPixi]

Do you have the DruidCraft Tarot? That deck has the best explanation of the 4 of Cups I've ever seen. I'm paraphrasing here, but this is basically what it says....

Think about those cups being filled with water. Water needs to flow to remain fresh. If it stays for too long in a confined area then it will grow stagnant. Someone in the relationship may be feeling as if they're stuck in a rutt. There's no flow of inspiration or excitement. Boredom and lethargy sets in and clouds their ability to be happy or excited about life in the relationship. It may be a time to pull back from one another and allow the joys of life, the creative juices, to replenish and begin flowing again.

LP~

 

[starrystarrynight]

I'm donning my fireproof suit now for what I'm about to say.

I just got the Fantastic Menagerie Tarot, and its Little White Book lists as one of the definitions for the Four of Cups as homesickness.

I'd never thought of it in that way before, but can see that is exactly what it meant in some readings I did in which I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

(So, sometimes the LWBs can be quite accurate! Sweet.)

Edited to add:

So, in a relationship question, it could mean that the person may feel "homesick" for the other person involved, especially if the relationship was once established and may be on the outs right now. Not quite happy being apart, but not quite ready to come back yet, either. Something like that, anyway.

 

[firecatpickles]

I agree with all the above.

Sometimes we forget that 4's can mean stagnation, and the 4 of Cups, therefore, the need to move on. Let go of the melacholy & the woulda coulda shouldas.

You've come a long way, baby!

KK

 

[caridwen]

Can someone help me to figure out what the 4 of cups is saying, it has been coming a lot when reading for my sister about a relationship, I have even used different decks and this card shows up everytime. is this card saying that the person is not interested or that they are meditating before taking any action. is the person aware of the cup being offered, or perhaps they see the cup but choose not to take it. I'm very confused with this card.

It could mean that she needs time to herself to think about where she is in the relationship and where things currently stand before taking any further action or making a decision. She knows the offer or new relationship is there and will wait while she takes this time out.

 

[zach bender]

time to think would be more four swords. for me, four cups is a self-absorption that prevents you opening yourself to something for which you might otherwise find a connection.

zb

 

[Thirteen]

A drink from an imaginary cup

time to think would be more four swords.

Nice point there. And I think you're right. 4/Cups isn't about "Thinking" so much as dreaming and feeling.

Remember that cups of water are used for scrying. Also as mirrors where people see their dream reflection. This person has three cups, but they're letting their emotions get caught up in a fantasy fourth cup.

As YDM42 put it, this is not necessarily bad. Some people need to shut their doors, or go off alone to rest under the sky, and just let their emotions float on a fantasy. It's a form of relaxation, of letting creativity and feeling replentish themselves by drinking from that imaginary cup.

In some cases, people often talk about how imagining making love to someone else actually can improve their love life with their current partner.

The negative of the card is if it's indicating stagnation and boredom or even homesickness (which sound like a nice interpetation for it). In that instance, the person is coming to feel that the grass is greener elsewhere, and they might take action that they'll regret.

But the card need not be negative. Letting the emotions drift and flow with one's imagination can be very theraputic and restorative.