I agree that the Queen/Swords can love, BUT, we have to be careful regarding cards that we identify with. Because no human being is the Queen/Swords. You or I can be mostly the Queen/Swords, but in certain situations we're also the Queen/Cups, Queen/Pents, or Queen/Wands—likely even some kings, knights and pages
So even if we're 98% Queen/Swords, even if we strongly identify with that card and always put it down as our signifier, to look at it and say, "I love and therefore so does the Queen/Swords"...isn't exactly accurate.
Because we are, after all, discussing an archetype, ideal, and avatar with the Queen/Swords. She is a card with a decided meaning, not a human being. Thus, the card is about
what personality trait is foremost when they get together and try to have a relationship. It's about what part of them comes out and is "them" when they are together. I mean, we all see that in our lives. We say, "This guy is such a jerk to me." And others say, "Oh, my gosh, he's always a sweetheart to me. Best friend I ever had..." We're never just one person or the same person with everyone.
You argue that you' have a wonderful love relationship with your Magician. But maybe if you laid down the cards you'd find that in that RELATIONSHIP you are the Queen/Cups and he the King/Cups. Maybe in every other aspect of your life you are the Queen/Swords and he the Magician...except when you're together (or not). Because you're not the Queen/Swords 24/7 or in all situations. Nor is he the Magician 24/7 and in all situations.
So the question of whether there can be love in this relationship is very pertinent. A Magician/Queen-Swords relationship is NOT going to include include romantic, hearts-and-valentines love. It's going to be the sort of connection that revolves around admiration for each other's clever words and minds. And that's fine. It could even be called "Love"—but we must not assume that just because we identify with a card, that the card is us through and through including aspects that are decidedly not part of what the card is all about. I identify with the Queen/Swords, but I promise you, I do give my husband mushy, romantic valentines. Which means there's a part of me that isn't the Queen/Swords when it comes to him.
Does that make sense?