I would love one of these, this sounds really interesting. Thanks so much for your generosity! I'd really like to find a solid, healthy relationship, so anything in regards to love would be amazing.
Hi
I initially found that you werent completely comfortable with your feminity, like your not sure it fits properly at the moment, you really need to try and accept you are a feminine woman and we all need both the yin and the yang, so you need both feminine and masculine parts of you to be intergrated within, not to have a man to be the masculine part of you.
your trust has been broken in the past so you keep people at a distance.
the word love to you is about purity, innocence, you beleive love has to be a certain way, it has to be love at first sight, it has to be dramatic, perhaps you need to have a look at what love means to you a bit more.
there is something in your past that you want nothing to do with, you have slammed the door but at the moment your still linked to it so its holding you back, so you will have to look at that to move forward. lessons are still to be learnt from this relationship. you need to forgive yourself for the past, accept the past for what it is. you need to let go of him properly, not just pay lipservice, let him go completely. i felt like i was a parachute and the past is dragging you down by the cords you still have there, one particular cord is very strong. you need to accept the past not surpress it to move forward to a 'bright future'
masculinity is too 'foriegn' to you. you might have had issues with the father figure in your life,was your dad very strict? you link masculinity with denial of things, limitations, hardness, you want to be only feminine which is soft, pure, and loverable.
if you understood that strength and power were not wrong you would be able to still be soft and loveable but with a strong powerful core....and still be feminine.
i got the word equality at the end.it feels like your wanting someone to have a certain size box to fill, and thats what you dont want to be, so you want someone else to be the hard/bad/powerful/strong person because that means you have to be strict and limiting and you dont want to do that. so i would look at how you feel about masculinity.
hope that makes sense, and again this is only your energy, this might not register to you on a conscious level , but its blocking what you want to move forward.