Sorry my feedback is late. I've been going through a really hard time. This reading has touched on some deep stuff and I haven't been ready to respond to it until now.
okay Anna
I started by getting one word 'freedom' this seems to be an important word to you and your energy.
Yes - certainly for me, and I think also for him.
It's felt as though there are two parts of myself struggling with each other at the moment; the part that knows there are some serious problems in the marriage and is refusing to tolerate it any longer, and the part that loves him and would put up with anything to keep him.
has your trust been broken in this marriage, there seems to be something that has stopped you being able to trust the relationship and your partner.
Yes it has. In fact there have been a two serious things that have happened in the last 6 months; the first severely damaged the trust I had in him and the second destroyed it completely. I can't trust him any more. I've told him why I can't, but he doesn't seem to think there is a problem - which just exacerbates things.
If you would like feedback on what happened to break the trust, I am happy to tell you by PM, but I don't want to post it publicly.
Your energy reacts badly to the word partner, it feels very sorrowful and there feels like there are lots of things that have not been said, they sit heavily in your heart but have not been expressed yet.
Things got so bad that I asked him to leave, and it was devastating. I love him very, very much. In fact, I don't think I will ever love anyone else in my life as much and as deeply as I love him. But I don't trust him, and it got to the point where I was compromising my self respect to allow him to treat me so badly, and that's why I had to tell him to go. I talked and talked and talked. My mum talked to him. My aunt talked to him. He will not listen.
The words have been said, a thousand times and in a thousand ways. He won't hear them. He won't listen.
your partner is also questioning if you actually still love them, so if you still do you need to be able to reassure them you do to be able to move forward.
Yes, I know that he is. He can't understand how, if I love him, I would ask him to leave. But he won't listen to me tell him why, so it's difficult to move anywhere.
the word past made me feel very stuck, not able to move on or even be in the present because the focus is too much in the past and mistakes made then have not been resolved so still sit in the energy of your relationship, these need to be talked about and dealt with if not they will continue to manifest as issues.
Yes, this is very true. I can't forget what he did to me in June, nor what he did in November. He won't talk about it, or listen to me, so we can't resolve it. He wants me to forget it and put it in the past, but to do that I would have to compromise my self respect. I can't allow him to treat me in the way he did and say it's all ok, because what he did was very serious. And if I've learnt nothing else from my past, I've learnt that I will not allow someone to abuse me again. That's why we're stuck. And unless he talks about it and accepts he has made mistakes, I don't see any future for us.
there is also an inequality about the relationship, its weighted heavily one way and therefore one person carries more of the burden then the other.
Yes. I carry the burden. I bring up the kids, worry about the finances and try to get him work, whilst he lives the life of a single man. No wonder he is happy and feels we have no problems.
the overwhelming sense in your relationship is being stuck, both not really able to move forward because past hurts are still present and have not yet been relegated to the past. the desire to maintain the relationship seems to have gone, which leaves it floundering. i cant answer if its worth carrying on, but the path will start to become clear once you start dealing with the past between you, a natural decision will come out of that, it feels that also clinging to past hurts is also a way to cling to each other rather than letting go.it feels like when you start letting go of the issues, you will find that there is not much glue thata holds you together.
Yes, the past issues must be dealt with if we are to move forward together. But I can't make him do it if he doesn't want too, which would mean I wouldn't stay in the marriage.
I couldn't maintain the relationship as it was. It was damaging me to do so, and for once, I put myself first.
I feel the path will come clear too, and that the right thing to do will reveal itself.
Freedom i feel is coming form boh sides, your both pulling and trying to gain it, but still trying to be together also. you need to find your own freedom within the marriage, a place and space to be, rather then blame the other for not giving it to you.
If we are to stay together, this will be the way it needs to be.
There are a few question marks that are coming up and only you can answer them, once you do you will understand if you can make it work or not. do you trust him? Do you love him? do you want freedom only to be away from him rather then for space?
Hope this makes sense
I do not trust him, but I do love him. I had to get away from him, his behaviour had become abusive and survival instinct took over. But the stuff that he did wasn't that serious that I couldn't continue in the relationship, providing that he accepts that what he did was unacceptable. I don't know if he will do that..... I kind of feel he won't, or that he'll say all the right things but then his behaviour will revert back once things settle down.
Anyway.... thank you for this reading. It has been very useful, and if you would like any further feedback then I am happy to give it.
Yeah ... I think I have the "middle-child" syndrome. I always lived in the shadows of my big sister ... then, my little brother came .. and it was ALL about him 