'Blind' reading

[prudence]

I like what Jesus said about forgiveness.

"They know not what they do."

I suppose that would make for a nice epitaph on the gravestone of someone killed by an abuser.

I don't really agree though, that they know not what they do. They know, it's hard not to know when you see the bloody face of someone who has been hit by your own hands.

Perhaps what they don't "know" is why they do it. Though that dilemma does not make me any more sympathetic to their "ordeal".

 

[Holly doll]

I like what Jesus said about forgiveness.

"They know not what they do."

Sorry, I don't believe that for an instant. Abusers know exactly what they are doing - a calculated, systematic, violent attack; bringing immense fear, pain, trauma & sometimes worse on the victim & any children involved. Abusers KNOW right from wrong; they think they are above all laws & feel entitled to dispense their idea of "justice" to others; blaming everyone & everything else rather than doing the shadow work necessary to address THEIR ISSUES.

If Ravenest did in fact, know what had unfolded before the reading; chances are charges would have been pressed by the other guy due to Ravenests feelings on the matter.

I think what unfolded was more powerful & Ravenest was the unknowing instrument (big hug) - an impartial reading let this guy know that he would be called to account in no uncertain terms!

Nisaba was right; all that could be done was the reading for the client.

 

[Michael Sternbach]

In my work with a psychiatrist, I met several abusers as well as victims of such. I understand how you feel; notwithstanding professionality, it's always difficult counselling people whose ways you deplore. And even though it's not what you would have opted for had you known more, I believe there is a reason why you felt you had to do a reading for that guy although normally you wouldn't. Telling from the tears (and the river of snot), the session with you got to him more than using every single technique out of "Storming the Fortress" would. It may well help him to gain insight into what he has done and render him a better person. Best to leave it at that, and it's indeed: "good on you ravenest, job well done !"

 

[Elven]

More often than not nowadays, I decline. This time I didnt.

If the question is why you did read for him (of all people), maybe that's not clear right now, but answers will come as to why - and it might be that the benefit from answers will be yours. I think time will sort that out, and some self perspective.

I am just going to go out on a limb here, and say - You read for him unconditionally - and you gave him the choice not to elaborate - but after the reading, in hindsight of his situation, you placed in Conditions. If you feel he abused the situation in some way by not telling you about the DV situation, I feel now you are bashing yourself up over this emotionally, and are now preparing to give him a serve as well after the fact. A constructive interaction turning into a destructive interaction? Possibly step back and away from this until you can clearly give yourself justifiable good reasons as to why this residual emotion is prompting you to turn on a client, when your intention was sound and grounded to begin with.

If you saw Justice being served (or Karma) coming through in this reading then you know that he will have to face the repercussions of his actions. Take some solace in that and find healing or what ever you need (for yourself) from it.

As it stands your decision to not allow him to have any further association with you comes from a place of huge strength and personal power - especially when his offer of help is needed. That will hit him hard in itself. But for you, it may help you regain your sense of being able to be proactive for your self (as opposed to feeling you may have been a target).

I was totally impartial, non-projecting, and actually, I was impressed with myself for being so ... good on you ravenest, job well done !

And if you feel you did do a great job of the reading - hold onto that thought.

You didn't know about his situation, and the reading is now done - there must be a reason that it was you he had the reading done by, and that there was something within your reading for him (and for you) that he needed to hear. No other person could have delivered it the way you did.
Hold that thought too, maybe.
You may have turned the tide.

Hugs.

 

[Laurelle]

I think the point of Jesus was that he forgave the people who killed him because "they knew not what they did."

That's a powerful message. He didn't pass judgment on his accusers or killers. He forgave them.

Sometimes we just need to forgive people for their wrong doings. Because in the end hate just begets hate and only love can conquer hate.

Only light can conquer darkness.

 

[GotH]

You have the right to read for whomever you want raven but I happen to agree with nisaba on this one. There's a belt of integrity us readers must wear even if our querents are scumbags. But that doesn't mean a few of us friends of yours can't go out there and kick his ass for you.

At some point we all come face to face with our monsters. It sounds like you did well with yours.

 

[Holly doll]

I think the point of Jesus was that he forgave the people who killed him because "they knew not what they did."

That's a powerful message. He didn't pass judgment on his accusers or killers. He forgave them.

Sometimes we just need to forgive people for their wrong doings. Because in the end hate just begets hate and only love can conquer hate.

Only light can conquer darkness.

Then there is the modern day court system...

 

[ravenest]

But would it have been "wrong" of ravenest to refuse to read for this guy if he had known the situation before he read?

It's a tough call, and considering ravenest's admitted issues with domestic violence and all it entails, I think the deception by omission on the sitter's part was rather scummy. Maybe weasel-ish is a better word? Though I guess it did spare ravenest from having terribly bruised and scraped knuckles!

Weasel ! My God ! yes ... he even looks like a weasel ! (My knuckles dont bruise or scrape any more, I can punch through a board or into a brick wall with no padding ... hence my need to be EXTRA careful !

Oh, and Nissy, when my friend was telling me the real details he showed up in the middle of it. I talked to him a bit about the issue and he was all ... " Oh yes! " and "of course! " ... but I dont trust him ... its been going on in secret .. he has a programme running and a few words from me and a superficial 'of course; from him ain't gonna smooth it IMO.

He says he wants to hang around 'wiser' people like me ... but he never broaches the subject, he is better off with my female friend ... she can mother him and make him feel better if she wants - I WON"T !

I will talk to the woman concerned and sit in on the court case next week to get the picture ... before I tell my friend I dont agree with him being here (because she asked how I felt afterwards about that).

In my experience, this type of behaviour needs deep therapy to overcome or a big scare to get them to 'hold it in'.

 

[Laurelle]

I'm not sure what you mean by the modern day court system...

It is still very flawed. People get hurt and injustices happen everyday, but when we hold on to the anger of injustice then it only makes us angry. It's like allowing someone to have free rent in our head and heart and that person is just squatting there and trashing the place. It's not fair to ourselves.

I've had quite a few bad people hurt me and justice was never served. But I forgave them because it's easier. It's easier to focus on the good things in life and it's more pleasant.

Sometimes when we want to create the perfect world full of love we need to lead the example. We are all connected and live in a collective consciousness. So when you forgive, you are carrying love around with you. Other people will pick up on that and they may decide to love too.

Beating up a guy who is already prone to violence, just begets more violence.

I actually told my daughter something like this today: What happens if two presidents of different countries issued a war against one another, but no one showed up?

It ends when everyone drops their arms.

I can see how Ravenest feels. But by allowing herself to feel angry over it is only hurting herself. That kind of anger just eats us up inside. It's not a good feeling.

My post only had good intentions and i'm sorry if they bother some people.

 

[Holly doll]

Weasel ! My God ! yes ... he even looks like a weasel ! (My knuckles dont bruise or scrape any more, I can punch through a board or into a brick wall with no padding ... hence my need to be EXTRA careful !

Oh, and Nissy, when my friend was telling me the real details he showed up in the middle of it. I talked to him a bit about the issue and he was all ... " Oh yes! " and "of course! " ... but I dont trust him ... its been going on in secret .. he has a programme running and a few words from me and a superficial 'of course; from him ain't gonna smooth it IMO.

He says he wants to hang around 'wiser' people like me ... but he never broaches the subject, he is better off with my female friend ... she can mother him and make him feel better if she wants - I WON"T !

I will talk to the woman concerned and sit in on the court case next week to get the picture ... before I tell my friend I dont agree with him being here (because she asked how I felt afterwards about that).

In my experience, this type of behaviour needs deep therapy to overcome or a big scare to get them to 'hold it in'.

A real shapeshifter... appears in any guise to get what he wants... Let's hope he doesn't request a character reference before the court case...