Your post makes me wonder what makes you say that you can't read for yourself. I can see your intuition is up and working for you and reading your intuition is a big part of reading for anyone, including yourself. I would be willing to bet that you could read well for yourself if only you believed that you could.
That being said, if you believe that the Queen of Wands represents your friend in your readings it does. That being the case, and nevertheless, it is unlikely that she represents your friend in the readings of others, especially if these people don't even know your friend.
When reading for others if that card comes up it might be helpful to just consider the regular meaning of the card. Of course it depends on the question, but basically....She is a wands card and thus about creativity and creative actions they might be considering in their lives. Being a Court card she is likely about someone your querent knows in thier lives. Show them the card image and ask if she looks familiar to them. If she does it represents that person in their life, if not she simply represents someone in their life who has their act together when it comes to expressing their creaitivity. The cards advice is for the querent to think about what creativity means in their life right now, what area is it currently imporntat that it express itself....and to take a good look at that person the card represents and how they are expressing it in their lives and to see what the querent can learn from them. This person is someone to emulate right now.
As for the Queen of Wands stalking you, first I do not think it would come up in a reading unless it were the right answer...Tarot always gives accurate answers, although sometimes we interpret them wrong. On the other hand, if you do sense it hounding you it could be a personal message that Tarot wants you to examine your relationship with her again. I think it is asking you to do some readings to help settle things in your mind and heart for you.
That is how I see it,
Babs
