Celticnoodle, I'm interested in learning your method for connecting through meditation... do you have any advice or tips you can spare? Right now, I do vipassana meditation mainly.. but there are many other types out there that I'd like to learn a bit more about.
Espeet, everyone is different in how they like to meditate and so it may take you awhile to find the 'right' way for yourself. I, myself, do two types of meditation the most. The first one is praying, (some things a Catholic girl just cannot get out of her system!)--and I love the rosary prayer. Its always been 'my prayer'. So, I always start out doing this first. Now, I am not telling you to do that, as that is a very personal way for me to meditate and I know not for everyone.
However! Perhaps there IS something very personal to you that is similar and you can try. It can be something such as repeating a mantra that is special to you or some other form of "prayer" or repeating sounds. It may also be easier for you to start with this using a leading pre-programmed cd/dvd or youtube video. Or perhaps just doing it on your own.
My other fave way to meditate is to just find a quiet place where I can sit and I always ground and center myself--(which again is very different for everyone).
To ground myself, I always eat before meditating. Then, I place my feet firmly on the floor and imagine roots growing out of the bottoms of my feet going deep down into the ground where they are anchored.
I take a few deep breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth and sit up straight in the chair. (I have a special meditation chair too--but mainly because I'm so short, its the ONLY chair I own where my feet can touch the floor while I sit in it!). I also imagine a light being poured from the heavens that comes pouring down over me--and it envelopes me completely from a bit above my head to below my feet and outwards. Its also more comforting for me to keep my eyes closed while I do all this, but not a necessary step.
Then, I just sit still. Sometimes I can only do so for 05 or 10 minutes and sometimes I come out of the meditation realizing I have been meditating for 30 or more minutes! I am not exactly 'asleep' as I am still aware of my breathing and sitting in the chair and aware of the 'noises' in the room/outside. But, it is very relaxing.
If I want to meet with my guide or a deceased loved one, I make sure to voice this while I am going through the grounding and centering techniques. Sometimes I have a question to ask of them--and I do so as well. It is not always answered, so I warn you--that it may not be answered in the first meditation for what ever reason.
The biggest problem I had when beginning to meditate and I still have from time to time is mind chatter. Its a common thing among all people who meditate. Then, I either heard it or read it somewhere that one should just consider the mind chatter as a common sharing of our lives with the universe/guide. However, do your best not to dwell on any of it. So, a lot of times I will still try to meditate and all I can think of is the list of items that need to be done--example--
*oh, I need to call the electrician today and tell him....;I forgot to put down milk on the grocery list...I wonder if mom was able to get back to the store to buy that dress she liked....* things like this. But, I do my best to not allow those simple thoughts go further to where I am even rehearsing what I am going to say to the electrician, what he *might* say in reply, and what I am ready to continue to say to him. I'm also not going to allow myself to say which store I should get the milk at or what I would say to my mom if she does get the dress, and I see it and think it looks awful (or good) on her. I just allow the first simple phrase to come to mind, and then let it float away and leave it be.
Sometimes this mind chatter keeps going, and if so, I will just stop meditation that day and let it go and try again later that day or the next. Never think of it as a failure. Think of it instead as a time that you spent sharing your thoughts and what you are doing/have to do with the universe--your best friend.
Sometimes I find that just putting a cd with beautiful soft music on and sitting in my chair with my eyes closed, grounded and centered is all I can handle for meditation that particular day. That is fine too.
I have friends who cannot sit still, so for them, they go walking or running and that is meditative to them. Another friend loves to listen to hard rock and finds that meditative!
still surprises me, but whatever works for her! And, another friend meditates while gardening and another has found her true psychic gift is meditative drawing and painting for her clients. She actually goes into a meditative trance and has no idea what she is even drawing till she comes 'out'. When she comes out, she will quickly paint what she draws, (or perhaps she is still somewhat in the trance, I can't recall) and then writes what the drawing means to her for them. This is how she does her psychic readings for her customers--through her artwork. (though, she has stopped doing these for the time being, sadly). I had a reading done by her and she was EXCELLENT!!! I told her I'd buy another one from her anytime she starts back up again, but so far she has not gone back to doing these.
So everyone is different in what works for them, but my main advice is to not give up and don't force yourself to sit still if that is not for you. Even if you can sit, don't force a specific amount of time for yourself to do that. Do what is comfortable for you. Some days will come easy for you to meditate for 5 minutes, some for 35 minutes and other days you will feel like you just cannot do it at all.
Never try to meditate if you are on edge or stressed out until you can feel calm and ready to do so. I also feel like you should never attempt it on an empty stomach. And, never get upset w/yourself over the mind chatter. Just let it be and let it go! Try things you really enjoy doing as well, IF sitting still in a chair is not for you, perhaps a walk in the woods or walking on the beach is. There really is no wrong way--except if you are driving or using heavy machinery!
The main purpose here is to calm and relax yourself to the point of being able to connect.
I do think it is easier for beginners to also set aside a specific time (such as first thing in the morning - or just after lunch, or right before bedtime) to meditate. Also having a routine, such as always sitting in this chair, always in a specific room, always with the lights dimmed or off, etc. Making it a ritual seems to make it easier for most people but not always the MUST DO.
Hope this can help you.