how to deal with 'challenging' clients

[willowfox]

to me, cards are for insight and guidance, not definite answers.

Yes but isn't telling someone what will happen also insight and guidance, even though it can be considered as a definite answer?

 

[starlite]

Yes but isn't telling someone what will happen also insight and guidance, even though it can be considered as a definite answer?

it may turn into a definite answer, but my point is to emphasize to a client that the future is not set in stone. i've been to many readers who speak in a way to indicate that something definitely will or will not happen. there's no 'likely' in the words. and sure, perhaps it will turn out that they are right, but there's never a guarantee. madam XX does not have all the answers.

many people go to readings thinking that the reader has special powers. we don't. my point is to guide someone to look within themselves for the answers. the images on the cards can point them in that direction.

if you tell someone that something definitely will or won't happen, you are doing a disservice to them.

again, in my personal experience, i have readings where a readers insists that this/that will or won't happen, and they are wrong. this has happened several times. and really, who knows why they are wrong.

just my view...

 

[willowfox]

If you tell someone they won't get the job, then they won't even try, so of course they won't succeed. But isn't that a self-fulfilling prophecy? Perhaps if they'd been really motivated, rather than discouraged, they'd have presented better at interview and they would have got the job.

And can you guarantee to be 100% accurate? What if you tell someone that they'll definitely get the job - and they don't. You've built their hopes up so they're even more disappointed. In addition to which, 'knowing' that they would get the job, they may not have tried as hard at the interview and that may have contributed to the lack of success.

My point of view. I don't necessarily expect you to agree with it.

Usually people have already applied for the job, its later that they want to know what their chances are, and that's the time when a reading is done, so if the answer is no then it will not be a self fulfilling prophecy as the person has already started the balling rolling.

Sometimes a person may ask before applying and I have seen the cards give pretty darn clear indications to quit while one is ahead, and try some place better suited to their abilities.

Can anyone guarantee anything? But some of us try are best to give as accurate an answer as we possibly can, of course some days will be excellent and some days not so hot, but on the not so hot days I tend to be more cautious in what I say.

But when I feel confident and relaxed then I will make definite predictions with my full confidence behind them.

 

[willowfox]

many people go to readings thinking that the reader has special powers. we don't.

Like I said before on a good day some people can indeed "see". So some people do have that "extra" ability to "see".


I have noticed that some clients are very easy to read and read for and now and again I meet a person who seems to be "closed off", like they are blocking me or something.

 

[starlite]

But when I feel confident and relaxed then I will make definite predictions with my full confidence behind them.

have you always been right? if you say yes, than can you honestly say that every single person you read for has come back to you to verify that you've been 100% accurate?

and, i am not doubting your ability. i enjoy your insight on this forum and your interpretations often make total sense to me.

i just feel that giving people definite answers does not help them learn what they need to. again, you can guide and say that 'it's looking likely...' but, it's tricky territory and at some level, not ethical. sorry, this is my counselor part kicking in. a good therapist does not tell someone what to do, they help the client come to their own senses. and no, tarot reading should not replace therapy. however, unfortunately, people get readings in place of therapy. and i've seen many bad 'therapists' (readers) who have been doing this for many years.

 

[starlite]

Like I said before on a good day some people can indeed "see". So some people do have that "extra" ability to "see".


I have noticed that some clients are very easy to read and read for and now and again I meet a person who seems to be "closed off", like they are blocking me or something.

yes, i am one of those! i am very clairvoyant and clairsentient. i communicate with spirit and incorporate whatever impressions i'm getting when i read the cards. i often 'feel' that i am right on too, however, i am not going to insist to a client (verbal or insinuation) that it's a definite. i will say that 'i feel', etc. it's how you word it, how you portray it.

 

[amethyst57]

a couple of younger women were asking me for readings nearly every other day...didn't mind it, they were friends...did email readings for them...
one asked me about new guys that came into her life...kept her away from two potential creeps...and found her a really nice guy she's been with for nearly 2 years now...a couple of readings later, she stopped asking me for readings and sounded like she doesn't believe anymore...yet she's still with the nice guy...
the other woman had lost her deck years ago,she came to me for email readings...she had not just romance readings, other facets in her life too were questions for readings...she was helped a great deal...so much so, she got around to do readings for herself with her own deck...she's engaged to the last guy i advised her about...
you never know what kinda sitter you'll get...but sitters have to take the cards they're dealt...why else are they sitting there?
but you have those ones who dabble in getting readings like they were reading newspaper horoscopes,or ones who bounce from one reader to the other...if they don't like it, you shouldn't have to deal with their pissiness...

 

[willowfox]

however, i am not going to insist to a client (verbal or insinuation) that it's a definite. i will say that 'i feel', etc. it's how you word it, how you portray it.

No, not insist but to make it clear that is what I see, and then tell them its entirely up to them what they do with it.

 

[irisa]

i agree with this perspective. sure, they come to want to know the future, so we pull cards to see the probability, not what will definitely happen. there is a huge difference here.

i'm sorry, but not every reader can ever guarantee that their interpretation will be 100% accurate. there are other forces at work, other than the intention and wishes of the sitter. i've had numerous readings and not ONE has EVER been 100% accurate, EVER. i keep going back because the reader did get hits on several other issues, with good evidence. in doing this work myself as both reading the tarot and mediumship, it's very easy to misinterpret information, not intentionally, of course. but, i am only human, i am not god. if i was god, i would not have incarnated on earth.

people often come for god answers, and do not really listen to see how they can affect their own outcome. i guess i take my counseling background approach of using the cards for insight. i give 'potential outcomes' that emphasize how this as only probability, where things can change, not solely based on the sitter, but other people involved. we don't know how other people are going to behave.

and one time, i got a reading and asked about whether i'd get laid-off from my job. i was told i would not. i asked if she was sure. she said she felt that i wouldn't. i got laid-off a few weeks later. this is a good example of why you should NOT give definite yes or no answers. you are not god. you really do not know FOR SURE. i understand that maybe one can be accurate almost 100% of the time, however, i sincerely doubt that every single sitter is coming back to tell you how accurate you were.

to me, cards are for insight and guidance, not definite answers.

I agree absolutely for me the power of tarot is in a sitter leaving feeling enabled rather than disabled. Feeling they have options, the ability to make choices and control their lives is enabled. This-that will happen, it's in the cards, nothing you can do about it or you must do this-that, is disabling imo. Yeah sure if people rely on the cards to make the decisions for them they keep coming back for readings but the moral responsibilty for the mess that ensues is who's? I learnt this harsh lesson early on from witnessing the fall out, (long story - short) a friend of mine was told in a reading that there was another woman - there wasn't - but one reader's confidence that they were telling the truth and utter belief they were right ruined a marriage and left two little boys with a sadly different childhood. Once I became interested in the cards myself (many years later) I didn't read for anyone else but myself for a very long time.

irisa

 

[willowfox]

i just feel that giving people definite answers does not help them learn what they need to. again, you can guide and say that 'it's looking likely...' but, it's tricky territory and at some level, not ethical. sorry, this is my counselor part kicking in. a good therapist does not tell someone what to do, they help the client come to their own senses. and no, tarot reading should not replace therapy. however, unfortunately, people get readings in place of therapy. and i've seen many bad 'therapists' (readers) who have been doing this for many years.

Some people are not interested in learning, they are only after an answer as to which way to jump etc. People who see astrologers for instance are in no way interested in learning astrology, why should they be.

I do not class myself as a counselor, I am just a "fortune teller" and happy enough with my lowly status. Also, I give answers and not therapy, I answer practical questions as I do not have the time or inclination for querents to lie on a couch and tell me about their childhood. I like dealing in the "future". The past is gone and we know what happened , the present is with us but the future is out there, that's where I am always looking.