Just a question about reading for others

[ana luisa]

I have been going through some "inner" questioning so to speak. I´ve read many comments on how some people let the querent cut the deck, on how their energy is vital to the reading, and so on. However, I feel at this point that the more I get into the cards, the less comfortable I feel having the querent around whenever I´m reading. It seems like there´s too much going on in my head and their energy and often, their anxiety for ANSWERS gets in the way. There´s too much "noise". Besides, depending on the reading, I get virtually sick so if the person is around that feeling gets much worse...Does anyone have a reasonable explanation for that? Am I sabotaging the whole reading process by getting myself consciously far from the querent ? Any suggestions ?

 

[balenciaga]

I have had the very same problem - the "noise" you speak of. I think it is my own anxiety or pressure to come up with answers for the querent when I am in their presence. Years ago I read for everyone and never thought about it. But now I prefer the distance of reading for them from a distance - meaning, if they have a deck, let them lay the cards, and then I write it out for myself and retranslate the info and report back to them. I can concentrate very well this way. It is like having the best of both worlds - they "touch" the cards, their energy is tapped, their unconscious is doing the choosing, and then I translate.
I know other card readers who do it this way as well.

 

[Alta]

I also find another person's anxiety is like a physical stress to me, as if I can feel them pushing against me. I can and do read in person (very occasionally) but it really only works well when the other person is relatively calm. I think I do better readings when I can focus on the issues, that is, at a physical distance.

 

[gregory]

That is just the kind of reason I don't want to do f2f readings.
Distance lends less stress !

 

[Cocobird55]

I think my distance readings are better than my f2f ones. I can concentrate better, and take more time to figure out just what the cards are trying to tell me.

I only do f2f readings about once a month, when a friend and I read for each other. I'm not really nervous around her, but I do feel that I can't concentrate as well.

 

[starrystarrynight]

That's so true for me, too!

The last f2f reading I did for a stranger was about two weeks ago, and she kept jumping up out of the chair and wandering around the room making comments (all of them, I have to say, were positive to my take on the cards--(she was "amazed" at my accuracy)--but...distracting to say the least!)

Of course, it doesn't help that I feel pretty lousy right now, medically. So, I'm thinking I may just have to wait until I feel better and more able to cope with all this peripheral energy again. But, still, even before I felt lousy, that kind of outside energy really sapped me many times.

So, I'm wondering, too, what others may have to suggest about this...

(And sorry I don't have an answer for it, either!)

 

[satine]

I don't know if this is true for anyone else, but I think that for me personally one source of my stress during face-to-face readings is the sense of feeling rushed. When I am alone reflecting on the cards, I take my time and I start seeing patterns and realizing new meanings... When someone is staring at me, even if he or she isn't walking around or doing anything overtly distracting, I allow myself to feel pressured to say something right then. I do feel like the more I do this, the more efficient I will be-- so maybe then I'll feel less pressure when I'm face-to-face with someone doing a reading. I know there are readers here who prefer to do face-to-face readings. What advice do you guys have?

 

[poivre]

I let people cut the deck and pull their own cards.
Then I tell them that these are my interpetations of
what the cards mean that "you" picked. This is the
messages that "you" picked to hear about. This takes
the pressure off of me. The reading is for them, not
for me. Something like this anyways!
They pick the cards, it's "their" reading.

I tell them that this is what I have learnt about
the cards, others have their own way to read. Everyone
has their own methods and they are listening to my
knowledge if it's what they like or not.

They come to us for insight, so all we can do is
tell them what we know, as far as what we have
understood about the cards ourselves. We learn from
the readings also.

ros

 

[poivre]

Another thing when reading for others...
people like to talk to other people. I read for
people the same as I speak to others. Try to joke
in proper ways, and show them the symbols or
numbers to help them feel they are involved, not that
the readings a big secret. Show them and explain why
you are saying what you say.

Don't attach yourself to their energy...ground yourself
and let the readings just flow!

 

[Splungeman]

To me it sounds like old fashioned stage fright. You are expected to perform a service while someone is watching you. Everybody gets nervous. Sure it's easier on the nerves during rehearsals. No audience, you don;t have to hold for laughs or reactions from a huge group of unpredictable strangers.... But you must remember that ultimately you are there FOR the audience. The play exists so that strangers will see it, not so the actors can go through the motions just for fun.

It's the same for reading cards. It's easier on you to read by yourself with nobody around. Less irritation, less anxiety, you can go at your own pace. But ultimately it's not about your comfort or needs, it's about the person you are reading for. Consider their comments, laughter, praise as an actor considers the reaction of the audience. The sitter's interaction and presence should empower you, not annoy you. Their comments can assist you to understand them and their cards better, just as a living audience can influence and enliven an actor's performance.

I can't stand reading without the querent present. I love having that person right there. If I'm wrong or if something's not clicking, I know it immediately by their face, by every little comment, every hmm and ummm. If they exclaim all of a sudden, "Oh my God! How'd you know that?!" I match their intensity and be right there with them. If they hate the reading, their disappointment whips me back into reality and causes a new focus, a new drive to get on track and make it work. If I completely fail... Well...nobody is perfect. It makes me all the more thirsty for the next reading...I'm gonna get the next one dammit!

If you want to read for strangers in real life, right there, try to come to grips with why someone else's presence irritates/distracts you. Are you there for them? Or are you there for some other reason? Are you reading face-to-face because someone told you that you will never be a "proper" Tarot reader unless you do so? It's possible that in your heart of hearts you don't really WANT to read for strangers face-to-face, and that's okay. Some querents out there may not want face to face readings. There's no need to try to do something you dislike. Find what fits for you.

I'll take the rush of live reading...carpe diem!