Was the reading I got ethical?

[Meemai]

I agree with the first posts.

Of course there are things in past lifes that can effect you now if you do believe in that. But that is a regression therapy thing and not a tarot reader thing. In my opinion.

 

[werewolfmoon]

Scammer! He may not have asked for money (yet) but he will, I will lift the curse for you for XX£. Don't respond and pay his words no heed.

Blessed be! May the light of the Lady shine on you always.

 

[linnie]

linnie:
Just because some of us feel that his wording/reading was unethical does not mean that we think all tarot readings should be pink and fluffy. Readings can be dark and reflect the dark sides of life, absolutely, but knowing how to tell "bad things" to the client is a challenge and something that needs to be discussed. Throwing out scary things just because "the cards are saying this, not my fault!" is dangerous, in my opinion.

Honestly, I don't see the connection between a curse and "generational baggage". In my family all the women have been obsessed with being skinny. My mother talked down to me since I was 5 years old, saying I need to diet and be thinner, just like her mom did to her. Is this a curse? No, it's bad behaviour without realising you are hurting someone... A curse comes from the outside, someone/something evil getting inside of your soul, and something that isn't there because of lack of knowing better, it's there to hurt.

If the reader really wanted to say that there is generational baggage that is what the reader should have said. Scaring someone because of not finding a better word/phrase is a lousy excuse in my book.

I'm sorry that my own wording has met with your disappointment, Citrin. I don't mean to offend, truly, and I didn't mean that only fluff is acceptable in readings... I know that much from sharing readings here and elsewhere. I personally have a very low tolerance for fluff, which is why I mentioned it... What I meant was that people allocate different terms to the same emotion/item/feeling depending on their backgrounds. The word "curse" is emotive, undeniably, so, as I said, I wouldn't be overly happy with that. That said, though, if someone had some important information for me, I would rather hear it than not... ETA: I just read the link that Grizabella linked to re generational curses... It is a religious site, with much talk of sins and the like, but even such a religious site refers to self-inflicted 'curses', whereby someone refers to oneself using self-denigrating terms. That is akin to the generational baggage I was talking about, so depending on your vantage point, the word curse can mean as little or as much as you believe it to mean, which was the gist of my post in the first place.

Generational baggage to me simply means something that is inadvertently carried from one generation to the next. In my mind it neither implies a "curse" nor bad behaviour, and I haven't personally read anything that links it with heaps if religious stuff, so that is not the position I was coming from, either. I am not in a position to comment too deeply on religion, as my only interest in it is how it impacts the people of this world. Spirit, on the other hand, delights me.

When I spoke of generational baggage (not generational curse but generational baggage) I was speaking more in psychological or sociological terms of a group unconscious, like the old collective unconscious, but within families, and between generations. Our parents are, most often, our role models, and they are not usually tyrants who harass us to do such and such, but we, as young ones, do integrate much of their behaviour and also their emotional response to the world. Sometimes, that is not useful to our spiritual well being. My mother was an intelligent woman with a zest for life. I was guided by her, and am as similar to her as I was created capable of being. Both of us, though, at some crucial time in our respective lives, went through a patch where we inadvertently disempowered ourselves because we honestly thought that being the perfect wife and mother was enough to nurture our spirit and bring us contentment. Having found that to be naive, we each had to rediscover what it was that we needed to invite completion into our somewhat lacking lives. In inviting in that which nurtured us, we were simply re-empowering our spirit. That is all that I was talking about.

I guess my own take on this is that I was offered a similar reading by someone who used a term more akin to generational baggage than the actual word "curse", although the issue was also raised as one that required fairly immediate attention... The outcome was similar, though, in that the reading highlighted that it could be alleviated through looking to my ancesters as they could offer me insights into how to still the energy that was causing grief to my loved ones.... That reading helped highlight ways in which I could be pro active in that matter.

It's possible that this reader was a scammer, yes, but also possible that he is simply inept in expressing himself, which just makes him inept, rather than unethical. Yes, it is a lousy excuse, and he should definitely take more care with his expression, and it is very unfortunate that he has frightened the sitter, but the question was whether he was unethical, and I don't think the answer is a given, that's all.

 

[Citrin]

linnie:
No worries, I hope I didn't sound too harsh either. I do agree that none of us know this readers' motives when telling about the curse. Perhaps he just chose the wrong word, perhaps he wanted to help as much as possible, perhaps he is a money hungry faker... Who knows? I find it positive that this forum has a lot of discussions going on about what is ethical and what is not when reading the cards. A "bad" reading can probably be very hurtful and it's good that we talk about that in the open to prevent such readings.

 

[linnie]

linnie:
No worries, I hope I didn't sound too harsh either. I do agree that none of us know this readers' motives when telling about the curse. Perhaps he just chose the wrong word, perhaps he wanted to help as much as possible, perhaps he is a money hungry faker... Who knows? I find it positive that this forum has a lot of discussions going on about what is ethical and what is not when reading the cards. A "bad" reading can probably be very hurtful and it's good that we talk about that in the open to prevent such readings.

Not harsh, you just sounded offended, and I didn't mean to offend, hence my rather lengthy explanation

You are right that hurtful readings aren't ok... My own understanding of unethical (again, linguistic pedantics based on my personal experience only) is behaviour that is "deceitful, unscrupulous, fraudulent, corrupt, villainous, amoral" and etc... So, given that the reader in question demonstrated some real ability in offering information felt by the sitter to be viable, up until the point where he mentioned the word curse, I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though his sensibility may need a little honing

Nice to meet you, BTW

 

[danieljuk]

I see all your points of view on this I do agree with Griz about what cards would say that or did he get it psychically or intuitively or something?

I once had a tarot reading which left me crying, it was harsh and negative and just mean. But it didn't really help me in anyway. Readings can be dark and say difficult things but I decided personally after that reading that I must always leave anyone I read for feeling better than before the reading. If there is negative things, I try to offer some choices and suggestions.

The problem with the 'generational curse' is how can challenge it, they say it's there! But also it's a way of putting baggage on the sitter and gives no hope or options. I could never tell someone that. I agree with Linnie that sometimes it comes up about issues between generations but it's different to a curse.

I asked a friend to look at my negative reading, to get a third party opinion and I calmed down about it and then I carefully wrote feedback (done calmly) to the reader. They apologised. My suggestion is the same to you lightrail. If you think it was unethical, you should give them feedback (privately if you can). It seems strange and not a helpful thing to say for me personally

 

[Grizabella]

Because of tensions in my personal life at the moment, I tended to be really critical in what I've contributed here. You've gotten some other, much more balanced responses, thankfully. Even so, I still don't believe there's an ethical reason for telling someone that. Not a total stranger, for sure. And beware if he contacts you again.

But I re-read what I've posted before and it was really not very nicely handled on my part. You have my apologies. Not that my opinion has changed all that much, but I could have responded better and more tactfully.

 

[linnie]

Yes, it's been an emotive topic, this one, and I fear I've added fuel to the fire... If the guy really is a charlatan, that is not good, but I'm not persuaded that he is. Danieljuk, I'm sorry to hear that you bore the brunt of someone's cruelty. I'm sorry if lightrail did, too. Upsetting someone is never a good thing, and not very often useful, either, unless supplemented by helpful information. I think that is what he was trying to offer, in his words about transfer of knowledge from one generation to the next. That apparently added another layer of fear, as it sounds as though it is not something you are comfortable with, but in many, many cultures people look to their ancestors (present or past) for guidance and insight. To me, that concept is not a frightening thing, so when I first read lightrail's post, I thought she was just wondering if that was an ok thing to say, and didn't feel that she was so severely impacted by the readers words, and was simply looking at it as a "whoa, that's interesting" thing... I guess I read her wrong ...

I don't equate generational issues with external, evil curses sent to destroy people. I just think there's a possibility that this guy acknowledges 'baggage' for what it is; something that has the potential to negatively imoact someone if they don't acknowledge and attend to it. Perhaps he doesn't find the word curse as threatening as many people do, and it may have been either sloppy language use, or simply a different understanding of that word... "Curse", as used in that link in an earlier post, really was just your everyday common baggage as in negative messages to self, and therefore can be viewed as somehow less scary... (I am of the school of thought, though, where negative messages to Self are acknowledged as very serious issues in their own right... Just IMHO )

I hadn't thought of the "which card would actually translate as curse", in truth... I guess that didn't occur to me because I don't read one card at a time... Not really... In a one card for the day layout, of course, but I actually do my readings intuitively rather than by the book, and so I look at the overall story that is laid out in front of me before I start relating it back to the sitter.. The way the cards interrelate, the actual dynamic created by that mix, is the energy I pick up on... Having said that, though, I realised a while ago that I wasn't so keen on doing paid readings... I got some really amazing feedback at Spiritual wellbeing festivals and the like, but it just wasn't my thing, and I discovered that I'd rather get information for people through my art, so I'm certainly not the most well-informed person on such matters...

I guess my only real purpose in posting is offering an alternative view, and seeing the guy from a different perspective.. Clumsy, or at least using an unfamiliar choice of wording.... and insensitive to others, and even showing a capacity to cause distress, may be undesirable, but still doesn't make him an unethical charlatan who plans to request repeat reading sessions simply in order to milk an ongoing income. If the reader feels a genuine need to glean more information from that reader at a later date, that would be her prerogative.

Anyway, it is fairly clear that, in this instance, following someone else's recommendation hasn't been a total success for lightrail... Although the reader is not unethical, to my way of thinking, he has inadvertently distressed the sitter, so perhaps, if the sitter feels such distress, she might be best avoiding him. Even more useful, though, would be to contact him again, be honest, let him know that his words distressed the sitter, and ask for clarification. If it were me, I would have requested that he clarify what he meant by it when he mentioned the curse.. It might have been fascinating, once it moved beyond scary :-? And I'd still prefer honesty, even clumsly delivered...

Many blessings to all

 

[Melia]

Wow ...

When I read the OP, my first thought was the reader might have chosen better wording instead of 'curse'. Then scrolling down I read what Linnie said and her thoughts on are exactly on par with mine.

My advice to the OP would be please don't overreact and assume the reader must be a charlatan, given that the rest of the reading was accurate. It would be absolutely dreadful to ruin the reputation of someone over possibly (more than likely) one badly chosen word. Generational baggage etc. (whatever that entails) is almost always a curse (the proverbial monkey on your back that you don't need). In the health area, for example, homoeopaths call generational health baggage a miasm ... it's certainly is real and for some people it can be problematic if they don't address it. ... So generational curses do exist.

If you would like more clarification about what this reader was referring to exactly, and are IF you are genuinely concerned about the ethics of this reader, then seek the advice of another reader. Problem solved.

In my own experience in the distant past, if I needed or wanted clarification of something that was said, and time had run out in a reading, then I needed to pay for another reading. This is always the way it goes where I live ... and fraud shouldn't be assumed here ... this isn't the reader milking for other readings, it's simply paying someone for their time.

 

[ravynangel]

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