When loved ones disapprove of Tarot

[Sulis]

For me, this issue isn't about tarot at all. It's about red flags. There are two huge red flags in this for me.

1. That he would make such demands with no discussion. He's the boss, his way goes. That kind of controlling behavior raises flags for me. I've known too many people in abusive relationships. Demands like this often lead to worse down the road.

2. That she felt compelled to lie about it. This tells me that the relationship isn't built on trust. If she trusted him, if he was worthy of trust, they'd be able to talk about it.

It doesn't matter that its tarot. It could be about wearing blue socks for all it matters. It's about control and deception and the warning signs that flair about the health of this relationship.

This is completely it.
I've been in an abusive, controlling relationship and I remember lying about where I'd parked the car (because if it wasn't in a place where he thought it should be I'd be in trouble), I remember lying about how much clothes I'd bought cost, what I'd spent my day doing etc, etc, etc....
If you feel as if you have to lie to someone to 'keep the peace' then something is seriously wrong with the relationship. The fact that this controlling behaviour is about tarot is irrelevant really.

 

[Reverie]

This is completely it.
I've been in an abusive, controlling relationship and I remember lying about where I'd parked the car (because if it wasn't in a place where he thought it should be I'd be in trouble), I remember lying about how much clothes I'd bought cost, what I'd spent my day doing etc, etc, etc....
If you feel as if you have to lie to someone to 'keep the peace' then something is seriously wrong with the relationship. The fact that this controlling behaviour is about tarot is irrelevant really.

I don't think what I said could give anyone the full picture, actually this is the first time I haven't stood up for what I believe and said I would do something I didn't. Actually, he's known I do tarot, ever since he met me. He thought it was pretty cool at first, or was actually tolerant and said he'd had someone read the cards for him once and it was pretty accurate. That was over a year ago. Then this Summer I told him I'd had some readings done and been to psychics. All in all, I think he is concerned for my wellbeing AND the cards actually scare him. Also, perhaps he is hiding something. It's all possible.

But this didn't just come about out of nowhere. I could go more into detail... Latest was that he thought we should break up as he doesn't want to change me and we have different beliefs. This hasn't happened yet though. Neither of us have followed through with the break up.

Otherwise, I fully agree that control or abuse is never good in any relationship. But as far as what I've shared with everyone, there are shades of gray, I think, and maybe I'm just to idealist! I have yet to read through what everyone said.

 

[Reverie]

Hey look, Cutiecutie. Everyone's down on the forbidding Tarot thing, and so am I. But don't take that as your sole indicator for choice of relationship.

Does he make you happy? If he does - don't leave him. It's only that most of us can't imagine being happy with someone who forbids Tarot.


_______
HOKINE BIBO AVT IN EVM DIGITOS INSERO

Thanks, Nisaba!

I too am for "meeting someone where they're at" (as you have done in meeting me where I'm at), but I appreciate everyone's warnings and concern, it just shows they care.

I have to say I'm finding my happiness on my own and the relationship isn't my main focus. Yes, there is so much more to look at than just this tarot dillemna with him! But it is partly relevant and I suppose reveals something.

Anyway, thank you

 

[Reverie]

Thank you Amy

I agree with nisaba. I understand that tarot is very much the crux of some people's lives - I mean people make their living with it if they're professional, and if not, it's at least holds a very special place close to their heart. But at the same time... I see tarot as a 'guilty pleasure' for me still, yes I may do it every day haha, but at the same time it kind of exists beside what I would call reality. I mean it depends what kind of person you are, and whether a relationship or a hobby can make you happier.

Interesting take! I do view tarot as a guilty pleasure as well, in certain ways.

Personally, I agree that it seems as if this guy is too controlling, but then if you love him and he loves you - you need to consider this. His reason for not liking tarot is because he thinks it's dangerous for you, so really, it sounds as if he has your best interest at heart even if it is in his weird, uninformed kind of way pahaha.

I think you know about his weird ways from a reading you did for me a while back! I'd also like to think he has my best interest at heart. I truly hope so ! He also said, just to take the focus off him and perhaps prove that it was from a place of caring, that in the future when I date someone, that if there is something I want to know, just to ASK them and not consult the cards. He knows that I tried to find out things about him, and I guess he would've preferred I just asked him, but as someone suggested, the communication with him feels very limited sometimes. Something to think about I guess.

I mean my mother still dislikes me doing tarot. At first I think she thought it would be simply a phase, of course when it came to the point that it hadn't passed - she started fretting and warned me about these evil spirits that your boyfriend seems so stuck up on. She seems to think that tarot is the same type of device as a oujii board - and she hates oujii boards. I don't know the full story but as a teenager she took part in one, and it didn't end well - and I completely agree with her, oujii boards are dangerous. It's just she seems to classify everything that can't be explained by science within the one strereotype.

Luckily, my mom also takes an interest in the cards and *tries* to read them every once in a while. LOL. It's also a family thing... I mean my great grandfather would call up spirits with a three legged table or whatever it was. To each their own I guess!

Anyway, good luck! No one can really tell you what to do, they don't know how you feel. Then again, it might be so easy for me to say that you need to consider your feelings towards this boyfriend more because I have it easy; my boyfriend has known about tarot from the beginning, he was with me the time I bought my first deck. He doesn't particularly believe in it, but he's still interested and respects my love for it. He's allowed me to do a few readings on him in the past, and every time they've shocked me how accurate they have turned out to be... but he keeps a safe distance, lets me get on with it and occasionally asks me how it's going.

- Amy

That's wonderful! Sounds like a great relationship.

 

[amethyst57]

have you tried to do a reading on him?
you mentioned mental health in your initial post...could there be an issue with him?
any relationship has to be equal...no one should forbid anything to the other...have not read the whole thread, but it sounds like a father issue with him...or a mental health issue...
the cards will tell...i know from experience....

 

[papercutbliss]

My dad is on the fence about my Tarot practice... he is like the Grinch with many things though, so I don't take it too personal. My mother, however, loves that I do Tarot... she is always praising my abilities to her friends and anyone who will listen, and offering up my readings to them (Thanks, Mom :/) lol