Empress RX as hopes

[obeygravity]

Had a friend come by again asking for a reading on her and her current guy. Met him a few times and have done some readings in the past that give me the willies (posted about a card combo Here. Needless to say, things have been getting more tumultuous, with more arguing and she wanted some further insights on the energies in the relationship. Trying to be impartial but nothing about this looks good, be it in person or in the cards but would still appreciate some extra input because, just like in the past, these cards make me pretty weary of this guy.

1) The center of the relationship - The Tower - accurate my they've been arguing and it seems like the structure of their connection wasn't as stable as my friend was hoping they'd be.

2) The common link in the relationship - Page of Swords RX - lies? Deception? There's a lack of clarity going on. A lack of honesty and being forthright. As the common link however, maybe it's saying an avoidance towards reality on both of their parts.

3) You- hopes for the relationship - The Hanged Man - I see this as patience and time being what's needed to heal what's pained between the two of them. That there'll be a moment of clarity and all will smooth out on its own.

4) You- emotions of the heart - Eight of Wands - She's fallen for him pretty hard. Her mind is, essentially, Blown by him.

5) You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords - Help create closure to what ails him?

6) You- the part of you that hurts the relationship - Six of Cups - She's romanticizing? Looking at things with rose colored glasses?

7) Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed - Now I'm stumped. I can see this card easily as a fear but as a hope? Perhaps it's that he's looking to be taken care of. To receive constantly without giving?

8) Partner- emotions of the heart - The Hermit RX - This is another card that makes me weary. It's come up before in similar positions regarding this guy. He's lost, confused, avoiding some real truths.

9) Partner- what he can do for her - Sun RX - another reversed card. This gives me two feelings - either he can do nothing or he can give her false hope.

10) Partner- the part of him that hurts the relationship - Lovers RX - either he's not as into her as he tries to tell her, or he's not actually interested in fully committing (which is a worry she already has regarding him).

11) Strengths of the relationship - Eight of Cups RX - another card I'm not sure how to read positively - perhaps it's that they're both unwilling to give up and walk away?

12) Weaknesses of the relationship - Five of Cups RX - this seems to mirror the Eight of Cups RX. That they're also unwilling to see what's lost in the connection.

I drew an extra card to see what will happen in a months time since things are so unstable and got Nine of Pentacles which, like in previous readings for her - there's always a Nine in the outcome. The good is that it's no longer the Nine of Swords which came up last time I read for her, so perhaps she'll end up walking away from this feeling whole and unscathed and for the better.

Edit: I also just noticed that his entire side is reversed which... Does not seem to bode particularly well either.

 

[decan]

Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed -

The Empress can be sometimes in connection to be pregnant for a woman; here to say that he doesn't want a child with her could make sense?
It would be a negative hope in some way, but with a card reversed...

 

[headincloud]

1) The center of the relationship - The Tower - Disruption, a disruptive relationship.

2) The common link in the relationship - Page of Swords RX - Upset, harsh words, spying, someone who wishes you harm, slander.

3) You- hopes for the relationship - The Hanged Man - Sacrifice (the relationship)

4) You- emotions of the heart - Eight of Wands - Cupids arrow, movement in the situation

5) You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords - Bring things to a close.

6) You- the part of you that hurts the relationship - Six of Cups - The past, your inner child and your memories.

7) Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed - a vulnerable, emotionally unstable or depressed woman. Foolish satisfaction with the present, it could be worse attitude, rut or inertia setting in.

8) Partner- emotions of the heart - The Hermit RX - her partner may be using her, she's there and from time to time she plays the part of a useful accessory but this person could drop her at any time, there's no future here.

9) Partner- what he can do for her - Sun RX - cast a shadow over her?? lesser joys. He's likely ignoring her under that reversal.

10) Partner- the part of him that hurts the relationship - Lovers RX - instability, insecurity, jealousy, paranoia with the hermit rx, he may withdraw from her to test her feelings. Someone adept at using sex to swing the power his way and if sex is suddenly withheld it could point to hidden anger. A supremely selfish person who is emotionally unable to give her what she needs. Coldness and lack of communication could be problems.

11) Strengths of the relationship - Eight of Cups RX - refusing to take the advice of the upright card and walk away. There may have been a split and reconciliation previously?

12) Weaknesses of the relationship - Five of Cups RX - refusing to move on. Sticking with a situation.

 

[obeygravity]

Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed -

The Empress can be sometimes in connection to be pregnant for a woman; here to say that he doesn't want a child with her could make sense?
It would be a negative hope in some way, but with a card reversed...

That's what I was thinking at first but I'm not sure that they're serious enough for that to really be something to cross his mind? Also that feels very... strange for that to be a hope for someone so I'm still not sure how to connect that.

1) The center of the relationship - The Tower - Disruption, a disruptive relationship.

2) The common link in the relationship - Page of Swords RX - Upset, harsh words, spying, someone who wishes you harm, slander.

3) You- hopes for the relationship - The Hanged Man - Sacrifice (the relationship)

4) You- emotions of the heart - Eight of Wands - Cupids arrow, movement in the situation

5) You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords - Bring things to a close.

6) You- the part of you that hurts the relationship - Six of Cups - The past, your inner child and your memories.

Thanks for this! Though ugh, I didn't think to see this as spying or slander.

7) Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed - a vulnerable, emotionally unstable or depressed woman. Foolish satisfaction with the present, it could be worse attitude, rut or inertia setting in.

I'm still trying to understand how this could be applied for a hope. Could this be seen as sabotaging the relationship? Hopes that he'll make her upset enough to sever things (Empress reversed no longer nurturing the connection)? As I definitely agree that this describes the empress reversed but I'm still not sure what to make of it as Hopes for a situation.

8) Partner- emotions of the heart - The Hermit RX - her partner may be using her, she's there and from time to time she plays the part of a useful accessory but this person could drop her at any time, there's no future here.

Admittedly, this is something that I had felt when I first met him though I didn't know him well enough to come to any serious conclusion.

9) Partner- what he can do for her - Sun RX - cast a shadow over her?? lesser joys. He's likely ignoring her under that reversal.'

Well yes, this has been part of the disruptive issues. A lot of Hot and Cold behavior from him.

10) Partner- the part of him that hurts the relationship - Lovers RX - instability, insecurity, jealousy, paranoia with the hermit rx, he may withdraw from her to test her feelings. Someone adept at using sex to swing the power his way and if sex is suddenly withheld it could point to hidden anger. A supremely selfish person who is emotionally unable to give her what she needs. Coldness and lack of communication could be problems.

This is admittedly pretty horrifying, especially seeing it mixed in with The Hermit RX and Sun RX. I'm trying not to overstep boundaries with her and pry too much though this may be something I end up asking about the next time there's complaints about things between them.

11) Strengths of the relationship - Eight of Cups RX - refusing to take the advice of the upright card and walk away. There may have been a split and reconciliation previously?

Not sure if there was a split though it's possible that there was one that was temporary that I didn't know about.

12) Weaknesses of the relationship - Five of Cups RX - refusing to move on. Sticking with a situation.

Agreed.

Thank you!

 

[spookyboo22]

Empress reversed
A free ride with no commitment

 

[Amanda]

1) The center of the relationship - The Tower - accurate my they've been arguing and it seems like the structure of their connection wasn't as stable as my friend was hoping they'd be.

Your Quint is the HP. Bill Heidrick says of the HP + Tower combo: "Vivid dreams. A person with a tragic flaw. Usually a very creative person." (Emphasis mine.) At the center of the relationship, I'm not sure which person may have the "tragic flaw" -- but it seems like negative feelings are being harbored (after all, the Tower can be like a prison) -- and watch out when those feelings explode. Is your friend jealous of him around other people? Is he jealous of her around other people? Unless these negative feelings are safely exposed and positive feelings are properly communicated, it is going to be difficult for these two people to "fall" in love. Expectations may be too high (another characteristic of the Tower before it goes down) and there may be some expectations of one and/or the other expecting their minds to be read and understood by their partner.

2) The common link in the relationship - Page of Swords RX - lies? Deception? There's a lack of clarity going on. A lack of honesty and being forthright. As the common link however, maybe it's saying an avoidance towards reality on both of their parts.

I'd say, given the harbored feelings and lack of clarity the Tower presented, they're having a difficult time understanding each other. He's not what she expected and she's not what he expected, and they're not talking about it in ways to figure things out or understand each other; they may be continuing to push their own agendas against each other without digging around to find the root cause of their miscommunications. Neither one of them may be willing to look at their own mistakes and are instead hung up on how things should be from the other in their own minds.

3) You- hopes for the relationship - The Hanged Man - I see this as patience and time being what's needed to heal what's pained between the two of them. That there'll be a moment of clarity and all will smooth out on its own.

The prolonged pain makes it difficult to heal though. Bill Heidrick says of the HP + HM: "Danger of stagnation or of needless sacrifice. Self pity is to be avoided. One should seek distraction of an exciting or energetic nature." Given this, I think what your friend really hopes for is that he will see her side of things, see her point of view. She may be thinking, "I do this, this, and this for him -- totally putting myself out -- and he doesn't care to do that, that or that for me." She needs to stop doing things, putting herself out, in the hopes that he will see things from her point of view.

4) You- emotions of the heart - Eight of Wands - She's fallen for him pretty hard. Her mind is, essentially, Blown by him.

I'd say, her feelings are out-of-control and off-the-charts. Whether that's good or bad, I can't really say. Perhaps it's a good thing for the sexual attraction and chemistry, and a bad thing for any other thing that threatens the sexual attraction and chemistry. She may utilize her sexuality to motivate him.

5) You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords - Help create closure to what ails him?

Stop thinking so much? Stop being so critical? Stop defining the person he should be and how he should have been living his life?

6) You- the part of you that hurts the relationship - Six of Cups - She's romanticizing? Looking at things with rose colored glasses?

She may want him to please her or offer her happiness, something she should already have herself.

7) Partner- hopes for the relationship - The Empress Reversed - Now I'm stumped. I can see this card easily as a fear but as a hope? Perhaps it's that he's looking to be taken care of. To receive constantly without giving?

He does not feel loved, wanted, or adequate -- all things he hopes for from her. He hopes for this kind of reassurance from her that he's good enough... that he's the light of her life.

8) Partner- emotions of the heart - The Hermit RX - This is another card that makes me weary. It's come up before in similar positions regarding this guy. He's lost, confused, avoiding some real truths.

Lost and confused -- probably! There may be no light shining on his good qualities here that make him feel like a significant part of this relationship. He's not the 'light' of her life.

9) Partner- what he can do for her - Sun RX - another reversed card. This gives me two feelings - either he can do nothing or he can give her false hope.

He could step-up and be more present. Carry on with his inner child and focus on having fun with her and being adventurous. Be the "light" of his own life that brightens hers.

10) Partner- the part of him that hurts the relationship - Lovers RX - either he's not as into her as he tries to tell her, or he's not actually interested in fully committing (which is a worry she already has regarding him).

Well... this really harkens back to her 6 of Cups I think... she may feel that he's not pleasing her or offering her happiness -- he may feel that she's demanding special treatment, and so, when he doesn't give it to her it creates doubt in her (because in RWS the lady is the one looking up to the angel) and her doubt about getting what she wants from him makes him out to be the bad guy for not giving her what she wants (pleasure, happiness -- those things she should already have). She may define his love as what he does to please her... which isn't love. He could be far more interested in sex at this point as well, since the love is lacking.

11) Strengths of the relationship - Eight of Cups RX - another card I'm not sure how to read positively - perhaps it's that they're both unwilling to give up and walk away?

It's starting to look a lot like the sex is what keeps them together. He needs sex despite feeling not good enough for her, and she needs someone to please her in other ways which she may utilize her sexuality to motivate.

12) Weaknesses of the relationship - Five of Cups RX - this seems to mirror the Eight of Cups RX. That they're also unwilling to see what's lost in the connection.

Just two people existing with each other, using each other to satisfy their base desires and not really connecting in a loving, balanced way.

Just some thoughts, hope it's helpful!

 

[gregory]

Here I was writing down what I thought - and Amanda has said it all first - and so well.

But to add a little bit - his whole side is reversed. And hers isn't - that adds to the feeling of a mismatch, and misunderstanding. He'd LIKE to be all those reversed things (lovers, sun) but he can't at the moment. (And my feeling is that he actually can't, not that he won't. He feels unloved, and he's afraid of that. And the mess builds from there.)

But -
You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords

The EXTREME card in the communication suit: so - COMMUNICATE. And as it's extreme - get help with that. Try couples counselling. So what she can do is suggest that, maybe ? Fits with the quint - HP- find someone who knows more and who can help.

 

[obeygravity]

Empress reversed
A free ride with no commitment

This is a really fascinating interpretation, though they are currently committed/exclusive.

 

[obeygravity]

Your Quint is the HP. Bill Heidrick says of the HP + Tower combo: "Vivid dreams. A person with a tragic flaw. Usually a very creative person." (Emphasis mine.) At the center of the relationship, I'm not sure which person may have the "tragic flaw" -- but it seems like negative feelings are being harbored (after all, the Tower can be like a prison) -- and watch out when those feelings explode. Is your friend jealous of him around other people? Is he jealous of her around other people? Unless these negative feelings are safely exposed and positive feelings are properly communicated, it is going to be difficult for these two people to "fall" in love. Expectations may be too high (another characteristic of the Tower before it goes down) and there may be some expectations of one and/or the other expecting their minds to be read and understood by their partner.

First of all - thank you for pointing me to Bill Heidrick's work! I had never heard of him before and he has some truly fascinating insights.

I'm still not accustomed to using Quints but perhaps its something I should do a lot more often. Just from the cards drawn, it makes me wonder if the 'Trigically flawed" person isn't him since all of his cards are reversed. I'm not sure if there's jealousy but with how much butting of heads has been happening between them as of late, I wouldn't be surprised. It'll be something I'll make note of for her.

Just knowing her, she's not usually the kind of person to get caught up in having people read between the lines but she's also quite into him so... Expectations can change with feelings. More things to make note of.

I'd say, given the harbored feelings and lack of clarity the Tower presented, they're having a difficult time understanding each other. He's not what she expected and she's not what he expected, and they're not talking about it in ways to figure things out or understand each other; they may be continuing to push their own agendas against each other without digging around to find the root cause of their miscommunications. Neither one of them may be willing to look at their own mistakes and are instead hung up on how things should be from the other in their own minds.

Just from what she tells me, most of the arguing they're doing isn't even about serious things which yeah, everyone bickers! But the degree of upset that seems to come with issues that should be easy to handle points to serious communication issues. I really like your interpretation of this card in regards to expectations and I think I'll just note this for my own personal studies

The prolonged pain makes it difficult to heal though. Bill Heidrick says of the HP + HM: "Danger of stagnation or of needless sacrifice. Self pity is to be avoided. One should seek distraction of an exciting or energetic nature." Given this, I think what your friend really hopes for is that he will see her side of things, see her point of view. She may be thinking, "I do this, this, and this for him -- totally putting myself out -- and he doesn't care to do that, that or that for me." She needs to stop doing things, putting herself out, in the hopes that he will see things from her point of view.

This is such a good interpretation! As this is a continued point of stress between them (see above over small things blowing up) and I would have never thought to see this combination of cards in this light though I can definitely see how the two energies would merge in this fashion.

I'd say, her feelings are out-of-control and off-the-charts. Whether that's good or bad, I can't really say. Perhaps it's a good thing for the sexual attraction and chemistry, and a bad thing for any other thing that threatens the sexual attraction and chemistry. She may utilize her sexuality to motivate him.

I can definitely tell she really likes him and is nothing short of smitten. And while I'd love to pin the blame of friction on him, it does take two people to have an argument. To exactly what degree of intensity she's at, I can't say for certain.

I used the fountain tarot (I absolutely love this deck so MUCH) and the imagery used on this card is honestly so striking, so I can definitely see a lot of your interpretation in it as well. You can see the card Here

Stop thinking so much? Stop being so critical? Stop defining the person he should be and how he should have been living his life?

I didn't even think to see it this way! I can definitely see how this would be a card of "putting on pressure" (Card Here).

She may want him to please her or offer her happiness, something she should already have herself.

This may be the only one that I'm not sure of admittedly! Though if she's romanticizing things, it's possible she's looking at this as something that can add a kind of happiness that she's not sure she can produce on her own.

He does not feel loved, wanted, or adequate -- all things he hopes for from her. He hopes for this kind of reassurance from her that he's good enough... that he's the light of her life.

Well this is seemingly more positive than what I was going for and less insidious than what I was initially getting from it.

Lost and confused -- probably! There may be no light shining on his good qualities here that make him feel like a significant part of this relationship. He's not the 'light' of her life.

Yeah even when I met him this was the kind of vibe that he seemed to have towards, well, everything. Which isn't necessarily BAD but it certainly points to some very unhealthy mentalities and attitudes.

He could step-up and be more present. Carry on with his inner child and focus on having fun with her and being adventurous. Be the "light" of his own life that brightens hers.

Another really nice interpretation that I'll be sure to make note of for her!

Well... this really harkens back to her 6 of Cups I think... she may feel that he's not pleasing her or offering her happiness -- he may feel that she's demanding special treatment, and so, when he doesn't give it to her it creates doubt in her (because in RWS the lady is the one looking up to the angel) and her doubt about getting what she wants from him makes him out to be the bad guy for not giving her what she wants (pleasure, happiness -- those things she should already have). She may define his love as what he does to please her... which isn't love. He could be far more interested in sex at this point as well, since the love is lacking.

Woof... I also just noticed that both of them have Sixes in this position which points to a real need of balance both with each other and within themselves it seems.

It's starting to look a lot like the sex is what keeps them together. He needs sex despite feeling not good enough for her, and she needs someone to please her in other ways which she may utilize her sexuality to motivate.

Would you mind clarifying how you got that from eight of cups reversed? It's not usually a card that I associate with sexual matters though in the presence of every other card drawn, I can kind of see where you may have gotten it.

Just two people existing with each other, using each other to satisfy their base desires and not really connecting in a loving, balanced way.

Just some thoughts, hope it's helpful!

Thank you, Amanda! This was honestly enlightening to see your interpretation on these cards!

 

[obeygravity]

Here I was writing down what I thought - and Amanda has said it all first - and so well.

But to add a little bit - his whole side is reversed. And hers isn't - that adds to the feeling of a mismatch, and misunderstanding. He'd LIKE to be all those reversed things (lovers, sun) but he can't at the moment. (And my feeling is that he actually can't, not that he won't. He feels unloved, and he's afraid of that. And the mess builds from there.)

But -
You- what you can do for your partner - Ten of Swords

The EXTREME card in the communication suit: so - COMMUNICATE. And as it's extreme - get help with that. Try couples counselling. So what she can do is suggest that, maybe ? Fits with the quint - HP- find someone who knows more and who can help.

If that's the root of the issue between them/him, that'd be admittedly really sad. I'm still not a fan of him, something is incredibly off putting that makes it hard for me to even base line trust him but with the friction between them, I don't think I'd be too surprised to find out this was the root cause.

Also I really love the interpretation of ten of swords with HP as therapy. They've been together for less than a year but if there's serious investment, it would certainly be worth it to suggest to her if things keep progressing this way as a way to deal with things.