Feedback on Your Readings

[prudence]

I think that one of the main problems is that many of the people who do this ONLY post in Your Readings and so they never see threads like this one where people are saying that they should be more considerate by putting effort into their own readings in the first place (as much effort as they expect those answering their threads to put in) and by giving good feedback.

Earlier in this thread it's been said that a 'thank you' is adequate feedback and I feel that I have to say that in the Your Readings forum a 'thank you' is NEVER adequate feedback.

Thank you for clearing that up, Sulis.

Like Goddessof1967, I get frustrated with posters who have replies to their thread that just sit there, ignored by the OP after the OP has gotten what s/he wanted to hear, and then the OP goes and makes like 3 more new threads, asking for help on them all, getting help, and quite often the people lending their thoughts on the readings may ask a question for clarification etc, and those too go unanswered. And then the OP either loses interest in the recent threads/readings and goes off to make several more... and I might add, many of the feedback replies from the OP are woefully inadequate, like a couple of words to either agree with the take or not...they may not be "Thank you" but they're still ridiculously short and unhelpful.


ETA...not sure if this is too OT, but I have been wondering for a while now, in regards to Your Readings, is there a policy on truthfulness? Like what seems to happen quite often is that a poster will submit a reading for help, stating that it was for a friend, but it is quite obviously for the OP, and it is so obvious because the OP had just done a reading for him/herself maybe a day or so ago, on that very same subject, but did not present it as "for a friend", yet we are all expected to pretend that it is for some anonymous friend, and comment on it, or what have you...I find it not only frustrating but insulting as well. I can understand being embarrassed to admit certain things, or to say that this is yet again another reading on the very same subject that I read about 10 times in the past week, but damn, when it is done all of the time and in such blatant ways, it really pisses me off.

 

[goddessof1967]

We work very hard to make sure that everyone who posts in there has a go at interpreting the cards (you have to remember that a lot of those who post there are very new to reading tarot) and we really do try to keep on top of those whose feedback isn't good enough although I do acknowledge that some do slip through but I really don't think that people are getting 'free readings' in Your Readings.

This thread is absolutely in no way a slur on the moderation, I for one really appreciate the moderators in YR. The simple fact that readings go on 24hrs a day means that it would be virtually impossible to go in to each of them several times to 'make sure' the right thing is being done. In that instance one would expect the OPs to be responsible in the thread and accountable to the rules.

For me, it's not so much about the 'free readings' its about the general rudeness in not acknowledging that a member has taken the time to have a go at your reading and then discussing their take, which is what you (the OP) have asked for in the first place.

 

[Amanda]

It really super duper irks me when people give lazy feedback or no feedback when others spend quite a bit of time and effort and thought on helping them out. In my mind FB should be individual to the particular reader's post.

I try to do this for those that take time to help me, no matter if it's here or some where else. I try to address each point made to me and whether it's relevant or not. That may or may not entail a detailed feedback, but I like to say enough in return to imply that I've received it and thought about it- and I don't think a "Thanks, good point" or whatever like that is usually good enough (unless say, it's more of an advising point). But anything I can verify, I try to in as much detail as possible. In a learning environment, I think it's pertinent- for money, I don't care. For friends, I don't care. Most people that I go see (tarot readers and psychics), don't care too much about my feedback either, but I try to address whatever I can verify... unless it's predictions, of course. And then if their predictions occur, I might make mention of it next time I see them again, but otherwise I don't call them right away to let them know it happened. But for learning, I agree- an equal exchange of energy between card pullers and card interpreters should happen and expressed in thoughtful and meaningful words both ways. That would be the ideal thing, anyway.

 

[goddessof1967]

Thank you for clearing that up, Sulis.

Like Goddessof1967, I get frustrated with posters who have replies to their thread that just sit there, ignored by the OP after the OP has gotten what s/he wanted to hear, and then the OP goes and makes like 3 more new threads, asking for help on them all, getting help, and quite often the people lending their thoughts on the readings may ask a question for clarification etc, and those too go unanswered. And then the OP either loses interest in the recent threads/readings and goes off to make several more... and I might add, many of the feedback replies from the OP are woefully inadequate, like a couple of words to either agree with the take or not...they may not be "Thank you" but they're still ridiculously short and unhelpful.

So true, Prudence. My thoughts also but you said it so well.

 

[Alta]

ETA...not sure if this is too OT, but I have been wondering for a while now, in regards to Your Readings, is there a policy on truthfulness? Like what seems to happen quite often is that a poster will submit a reading for help, stating that it was for a friend, but it is quite obviously for the OP, and it is so obvious because the OP had just done a reading for him/herself maybe a day or so ago, on that very same subject, but did not present it as "for a friend", yet we are all expected to pretend that it is for some anonymous friend, and comment on it, or what have you...I find it not only frustrating but insulting as well. I can understand being embarrassed to admit certain things, or to say that this is yet again another reading on the very same subject that I read about 10 times in the past week, but damn, when it is done all of the time and in such blatant ways, it really pisses me off.

Yes, we know. But, first, while in most ways blindingly clear, in other ways unprovable. What would you have us do? Post, "Hey, knock it off, that reading is really for you?", effectively calling them liars? Not exactly good for poster morale. Well, honestly, I did that once. In fact I think that I have made every moderating mistake possible more than once. I did it by PM. The member left the board in a tearful flood of recriminations and hurt feeling which made me feel like a monster.

 

[Sulis]

This thread is absolutely in no way a slur on the moderation, I for one really appreciate the moderators in YR. The simple fact that readings go on 24hrs a day means that it would be virtually impossible to go in to each of them several times to 'make sure' the right thing is being done. In that instance one would expect the OPs to be responsible in the thread and accountable to the rules.

For me, it's not so much about the 'free readings' its about the general rudeness in not acknowledging that a member has taken the time to have a go at your reading and then discussing their take, which is what you (the OP) have asked for in the first place.

Hi goddessof1967,

Don't worry, I didn't think this thread was a slur on the moderation of Your Readings. I completely agree with you; it annoys me no end when someone doesn't provide proper feedback and in effect takes advantage of those wanting to help. It takes a lot of time to sit down and go through someone's reading for them and that time should be appreciated with some feedback. Feedback is important because it helps everyone involved to learn and Your Readings is meant to be a place to learn how to read, not a place simply to get help with your personal problems.

I was answering 214red in the post that you quoted since she said that Your Readings had become a place for free readings.

 

[Promise]

I give infinite props to the moderators for that particular subsection, because it really is a fine line between calling someone out and risking offending them personally versus remaining silent knowing that others are going to be irked by it.

In all honesty, I don't visit that section of the forums anymore because I always end up feeling frustrated and used. It's so disheartening to put a lot of effort into reviewing their cards and trying to offer assistance and maybe even constructive criticism without hurting feelings, only to be rewarded with a "thanks, that helps" or "no, that doesn't seem right to me". What part of it helped you? What made it not seem right? What do you feel applies and what doesn't? Things like that would make it so much easier to the rest of us to give better, more appropriate, more helpful feedback.

But I guess it's one of those things that you really have to have a calling for; you can either help the new readers no matter how taken advantage of you may feel, or you can do what I do and selfishly avoid that subforum like the plague to keep from feeling like crap.

I wish there was some way to implement a system like the OP suggested, but I just don't see how it could be enforced on such a large forum. There has to be some sort of middle-ground here to keep everyone satisfied, but I sure as hell don't know what it is.

ETA: In no way am I trying to imply that the moderators aren't handling their business. I just feel like in this particular statement, you guys are doing the best you can with what you've got, and walking that fine line of trying to keep all parties from getting toes stepped on or feelings wounded.

 

[starrystarrynight]

As a minor aside, maybe simply looking at the fact that the forums most mentioned in this thread are learning forums, and by interpreting and commenting on the readings of others, we are getting practice and allowing others beside the OPs to consider and (hopefully) learn something from our contributions, too.

While I'm not saying that "Thank you, good reading" by the OP is in any way acceptable (it isn't...by posting, I think people are contracting for solid give-and-take discussion and should be held to their end of the bargain), even if they do fall short, the exercise is still valuable to others (myself as a responder, as well.) So, I continue to make responses in Your Readings because sometimes, regardless of the OP or the original post, we've gotten into some pretty decent discussions about why and how we read the spread the way we did. Therefore there is still some "learning" going on (for me, anyway.) I'm not there to get a pat on the back and a "Good Job! Spot on!"...I'm there to see where I may have been "right" and, more importantly why, and where I may have been way off (and again...why my take was wrong.)

So, yeah, good feedback is essential, but even without it, I learn a lot.

As far as posters hiding behind, "I have this friend...", come on, we all know that's a facade most of the time but shouldn't we try to be sympathetic enough to understand that it's simply a protective cloak used by the poster, and s/he is likely doing it for her own personal reason. If it allows her to make the post asking for help, maybe the best way to handle the response is to say something like, "I think this is saying that the querent of this spread needs to..." That way, we're not giving over to something we suspect not to be true (that there is, indeed a "friend" asking) but not calling the OP a liar, either.

It's all annoying, yeah, but I'm trying to look at the bigger picture. It's our choice(s) as individuals to decide if what we may get out of the forum is worth putting up with the minority of those who don't follow the rules...and it's our choice not to respond to members who don't. I know there are a couple of people I will never respond to again because the hassle isn't worth it to me. I guess that's my bottom line: what is or isn't worth it to me.

Edited to add:

Concerning hiding behind the imaginery friend, I wonder if the OP sometimes does that with hope of getting a more hard-hitting answer--i.e. might she wonder if we, who "know" the OP, will feel more comfortable giving bad news if we think it is for some unseen, unknown person? OR (far more likely, I think) does she do it hoping that her imaginery friend will receive the answer she is hoping to get after we have already given unflattering interpretations on the situation in previous readings.



I'm just rambling here because I'm procrastinating doing what I suspect will turn out to be an unhappy reading for a paying client.

 

[gregory]

I give infinite props to the moderators for that particular subsection, because it really is a fine line between calling someone out and risking offending them personally versus remaining silent knowing that others are going to be irked by it.

<snip>

There has to be some sort of middle-ground here to keep everyone satisfied, but I sure as hell don't know what it is.

Kudos to the mods - yes.

The other thing is - well, if I am bitten by someone in this area - they won't get another comment from me ! That, for me, is the middle way. If they don't respect my effort, I am not putting it in again.

 

[Sulis]

The other thing is - well, if I am bitten by someone in this area - they won't get another comment from me ! That, for me, is the middle way. If they don't respect my effort, I am not putting it in again.

I really think this is the way to send the message to people that they have to give feedback and that Your Readings is a learning forum that depends on give and take.
It never ceased to amaze me that the people who ask the same questions over and over (you know the questions; the 'does he love me?', 'is he thinking of me?' etc) and then give really bad feedback just keep on getting loads and loads of responses.
In my opinion if someone's behaviour (ie. lack of effort with the original reading, lack of feedback etc) bothers you then let them know by not replying to their threads.