Hello people, I'd need help with this reading.

[squeakmo9]

All I know is that I just want the best for him. He's so adorable lol. I love him so much, you have no idea.

Um, actually, I'm beginning to get the idea honey

When you say that he is attracted to me, why do you mean? I've already been told by other fortune tellers that he had love feelings for me or something like that , but I dont believe a word of it.

I was just giving you an example not related to your throw to explain what I meant by your friend realizing a part of himself while in you're presence(7 of water-Projections). A part not readily accessible when he is with others or by himself.
I am not a fortune-teller just a student of the tarot
From all you have shared with me(I received your beautiful pics, thank you!), I dare say, you possess a dynamic, loving, and generous spirit. So why is it so hard to believe someone could be attracted to you?

When I met him, more than a year ago, I automatically felt that we were going to get really close from each other and that something really strong was going to happen between the two of us.
Thats what my heart tells me, my heart told me other things about him from the very first day and many of these things ended up being true.

You just can't deny what you're heart tells you, I totally agree!

But my mind tells me that i'll never get the friendship that I want with him, my mind tells me that he's not mature enough for me, my mind tells me that things will "**** up" anyways.

For the time being seems your mind is on overload(6 of swords)...just try to relax, and let go of expectations as to what your friendship SHOULD be. Try to accept what it is NOW. Maybe you can give your mind some rest then. You have the goods to do this, I mean the ability to put things into perspective(CompletionXXI), so trust yourself, do not fear. When you fear you cannot think clearly.
I believe, you know who your friend is, how he is, what you are dealing with(it has been a year)...go with it. I say "go with it", because you have already tried to break away and it has not helped. So, understand that things of importance do not get accomplished quickly. When I say this, I mean, you're own spiritual growth---that is what is of great importance. Please be as patient, and loving with yourself as you are with your friend. Allow time to do most of the work kayless. You are not alone in having experienced this type of circumstance, so don't get upset, and take it one step at a time.

 

[kayless]

I'll try to apply your advices ! I know I have the strength of character for it, I just sometimes need to back off from him a little to be able to think clearly lol.

xD

Well I do beleive that guys can find me attractive but with him I don't know, I dont think I am his kind of girl.

But don't worry, I am able to respect myself and I don't let others step easily on my toes and he knows it. I love others but if they're being disrepsectful towards me, I have enough strength of character to respect myself and cut the ties right away so don't worry. I'm not as "dependant" as I seem to be lol xD
Plus, I don't trust him 100% so I am not giving myself entirely because I see that he's holding himself back and I want to give as much as he gives me, I dont want to give more.

So far, he has never been disrespectful towards me and if I felt that he did, well he was hearing about me right away lol! In general, he admits his mistakes with me and I dont forgive him until he does (its happened once so far lol).

So no problem

I understand that very important things get accomplished with time. You're totally right. What I am mostly doing right now is being focused on my personal projects and ambitions even if every once in a while, I feel somewhat sad or confused or scared because of him. But I dont give too much energy into this, I am mostly concentrating on myself these days.

 

[kayless]

Wait. Im not sure what you meant by this.

"he thinks what eats at him is nothing and neglects to bring attention to things in the relationship that need to be spoken about."
Like he feels confused too but he's like "oh, it's nothing to worry about" ? Is that what you menat? (its true that he doesnt want to complicate his life too much.) Sometimes, I used to tell him that stuff didn't feel clear, stuff felt somewhat weird or strange ... a lot of the times when we were feeling somewhat "confused" around each other, I used to tell him that when we were talking about it.. and he was saying that he was not understanding wht I was talking about but Im sure he does.. I always have the feeling that he's not as honest with me as I am with him..like there are certain things that I am aware of and that he's not. But now, since a year, he's more mature compared to a year before so Im sure taht he's aware of the things I was talking about now..

But I dont know. He's still a big baby. ^^ (he's 20. lol.)

"Superficial, unconscious, not knowing who you are...i'm talking about the nature of the friendship. Careful of manipulation, the buying of affection or loyalty."
Here you were describing the friendship itself ? I didnt really get this part as well. ..it's true that I don't know how to qualify this friendship. It's like we're close without being close at the same time..He sometimes confided myself in me but at other times, he'd stop. But I know him very well even though he doesn't talk about intimate things too much with him, I dont know if its the same for him.

I am going to pay attention to what you're telling me because one of the things that keep coming again in what you,re telling me is the "buying of affection", the fact that you give too much, more than you should, etc.


But you know, this summer, we started to get really close from each other and everything and then, in October, he told me that he couldn't be too close from me because it'd be innapropriate (like I told you, he's like a teacher at this center). We've talked about that a lot because it caused us to have a sort of "fight" and start to go far away from each other. Everythng got resolved for good like two weeks ago, but he seems to be "ignoring me" or to be thinking about it. Thats probably why he's holding himself back.

The main thing that I dont understand is that he seems to get very friendly with everyone else at this center, plus, he already went out with one of his students at that center about a year ago. I dont understand why I can't talk with him just normally, I dont understand why with me, it has to be different than with everyone else, I just dont get it.

 

[squeakmo9]

Wait. Im not sure what you meant by this.

"he thinks what eats at him is nothing and neglects to bring attention to things in the relationship that need to be spoken about."
Like he feels confused too but he's like "oh, it's nothing to worry about" ? Is that what you menat?

Yes, kayless, that's what I meant.

"Superficial, unconscious, not knowing who you are...i'm talking about the nature of the friendship. Careful of manipulation, the buying of affection or loyalty."
Here you were describing the friendship itself ? I didnt really get this part as well. ..it's true that I don't know how to qualify this friendship. It's like we're close without being close at the same time.

Yes, the above traits could be attributed to either you or him. The card combination of 7&10(Politics&Conditioning) seemed to contribute to difficulties in understanding each other(Conditioning, major arcana15).
Difficulites in opening up to each other(7 of air).

Perhaps if the man in the 7 of air(Politics)removed the final mask, and the lion in "Conditioning" finally realized he was, in fact, a lion and NOT a sheep....maybe there could be a genuine, long-lasting, straight-forward flavor to your friendship with this person.
I hope that clears things up, kayless.
Oh, and I'm glad to hear that things are actually improving between the two of you...I am more than happy to be wrong on this

 

[kayless]

Oh well for now, he seems to be in his corner (maybe something happened to him, lately) cause everytime I talk to him, he seems not to be there lol. things aren't improving,they're really "calm" right now.

We'll see how it goes but he said that I could keep on talking to him and we made everything pretty clear. But I'll see him in like two weeks so maybe it'll get better by them, I dont know whats going on with him right now lol xD

It's funny because we've been talking a LOT about being authentic and being a follower and everything..thats one of the things we've been talking a lot lately and I think he seems me as a lion and considers himself as a sheep.

Anyways, thank you so much for your help again.