How do you deal with weird questions?

[UrbanBramble]

It can be tricky. My friend who is the professional rune reader got a question: "How I can meet my Guardian Angel?" Well, answer was pretty clear - "you must die first". At least, this was the message from the runes. Lady intended to see her Guardian Angel in the full glory, just to make it clear

I love this. Fits perfectly into my experience with the runes. They are very literal.

 

[Owl Song]

Some questions are easier for me to work with than others. Do people sometimes ask things that I think are wonderful and exciting? Yes. Silly? Yes. Unnecessary because they could be better answered through other means? Yes. Challenging? Absolutely. I also acknowledge that just because I have these opinions doesn't mean that I'm right about them. The key is that I'm aware of them. Do I strive to be neutral? Sure I do. And most of the time -- I think I am. Just because I may not think a particular question is valuable (for myself personally) doesn't mean that I can't step outside personal opinion and reach a place where I can draw on that ability to be empathetic, open and genuinely receptive. But to say that each and every time I do that is easy and effortless would be -- well -- it would be untrue. I'm human. I have opinions and feelings and biases. As much as I would love to be able to say that I am at complete ease with every question that floats my way, I'm not. While I cannot completely eliminate those personal feelings and impressions, I can acknowledge them, work with them, overcome them. It's work. I do think it's well worth the effort though.

silverwinter, it's helps me to remember that everyone has a different path. We all see the world from different vantage points, in different shades. Sometimes a challenging question can help us grow, too. I would say try to be open and remember that, for whatever reason, the question a querent asks is important and meaningful to them -- even if you may not completely agree with or understand it. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves to be compassionate and empathetic -- at least I do -- and I fully admit it.

I think different readers are naturally better suited to handling different kinds of questions. I see nothing wrong with capitalizing on your strengths while trying to expand your comfort level if you so choose. I think this takes time. And this doesn't mean that you can't answer the "challenging" questions -- but those may take some extra effort for you to find that neutral place. (I still love magpie's description of non-judgmental clarifier.)

Edit: Edited to add -- you don't have to answer every question, either. It's okay to kindly decline to read on a question or subject that really makes you uncomfortable.

Your mileage may vary.

 

[ravenest]

Perhaps ... but I have actually had more than one say this;

"This might sound weird but ..."

And it usually relates to 'strange' synchronistic , 'occult' or 'magical' topics.

They probably come to me because I look weird (for a tarot reader )

And more so if they know my quirks; people have told me that things that bother me are trivial yet I dont seem to care about 'important issues' and what is weird to others seems normal to me and visa versa .... = ravenest weird.

Doesnt worry or insult me one bit, as I certainly dont fit into the 'average box' .

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-axgTCMwBG1Y/UGL7i0V9YpI/AAAAAAAAAm0/MYJwstq0ZiY/s1600/weird.jpg

http://www.searchquotes.com/sof/images/picture_quotes/31525_20130419_193208_secret_crush_11.jpg

 

[GotH]

Perhaps ... but I have actually had more than one say this;

"This might sound weird but ..."

And it usually relates to 'strange' synchronistic , 'occult' or 'magical' topics.

Well.... I do believe that is the first definition of "weird." Having to do with the supernatural. So depending on the context of the word....

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/weird

They probably come to me because I look weird (for a tarot reader )

.... = ravenest weird.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-axgTCMwBG1Y/UGL7i0V9YpI/AAAAAAAAAm0/MYJwstq0ZiY/s1600/weird.jpg

TRUE! We all kinda congregate in the same places. Here's proof.

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=223667



Weirdness and weirdos just don't affect me.. Like attracts like I guess.

 

[nisaba]

"This might sound weird but ..."

And it usually relates to 'strange' synchronistic , 'occult' or 'magical' topics.

Yeah, or they tell you spiritual-based stories and tell you it's "scary" or "spooky". To me, that stuff is ordinary, it's the meat-and-drink of everyday life.

They probably come to me because I look weird (for a tarot reader )

You wear a charcoal-grey business suit, a shirt and tie, and polished black shoes???

 

[ravenest]

I dress worse than a monk (meaning a monk gives up nice clothes and fashions to live a simpler life and not waste time and money on things like that ....


..... um ... okay then http://www.tibetanspirit.com/product-category/fabric-items/ordained-robes/

$95 for a scarf ! .

Thats 12 months worth of old dead grandpa clothes from the op shop!

(Todays robes are a similar colour - maroon; an old holy sweatshirt and homemade crushed velvet hippy pants that my friends ex-boyfriend left here .... thats cheaper than an OP shop ! ).

 

[nisaba]

<muttering aside>

Jimmy Page, eat your heart out.

 

[gregory]

Thank you so much Starlily, BrownBear and Nineveh for your support, I really appreciate it!

In my everyday life I usually try to do more constructive things rather than writing threads with the purpose of insulting people. I was asking for help. I sincerely thank those who understood it.
And no, I have never verbalized these feelings/thoughts directly to the querents.

Yes indeed, and I did say it was great that you were asking for help.

And that's perfectly fine, but until you realise that no client's question is weird to them, you really won't be in a position to help them. Every client comes to a reader wanting help understanding their life. What's what we are for. I've been reading for the public since 1981, and I've never really had anyone ask a weird question. I've had questions asked about paedophiles and about contacting aliens, but those questions weren't weird, just more relevant to the client than to me.

Forget the word "weird." That wasn't the actual thing I had an issue with - though the OP's English is very good !

But what I think - YMMV and IMNVHO and everything - is that it is dangerous for ANY reader to group questions with a qualitative word like weird, flaky, silly, even strange, perhaps ! and the like. That is effectively judging the sitter's motives. Your (generic) "silly" question maybe the one that is taking over their lives. Think of all those times someone has just said "You are being silly" and how it hurt because whatever it was was really hurting or holding you back at the time.

Sure say you (generic !) aren't happy with reading on romantic, intrusive, financial questions, sure. But those are specific issues. Ones that are emotive for you (say, silly) may be the absolutely critical ones for the person who has come to you for help. But calling them silly (weird, flaky) you (generic) are judging them and their reasons for asking. And in my book that is not OK.

There are always a load of readings in YR here that I will not comment on, because I can't handle the question - and in some cases I may FEEL it was a daft thing to ask. But I will NOT say so, as it is not my place to judge the question - my place is only to say to myself (not to them) "I can't handle that one..." and move on.

 

[Halloween]

I know readers who don't allow questions until the end of a reading [ nor do they start out with one ! ] and just read what they see and that's that. This allows you control of what to focus on.

 

[Sulis]

Hi silverwinter,

I think it's perfectly fine to set boundaries about the types of readings you're prepared to do based on how you see tarot and it's uses; I do that myself and I'm always wary of questions that are purely predictive because for me, we're all in control of our own destinies and think that to a point, we make our own futures with our thoughts and actions in the past and present.
I think it is possible to steer people towards questions that blend well with your view of tarot and how you use it though and I think that's what you may have meant when you said you're having trouble with the things people are asking you to read about.

For me, I'll read on any topic directly to do with the person asking for the reading so I won't answer questions like 'How is my ex's relationship with his current girlfriend?'..
If someone comes to me asking a purely predictive question like 'Will I get a new job in the next 6 months', I talk to them about how I see tarot, the future etc and try to steer them towards a question that I think will give them a more useful answer so something like 'What do I need to do to ensure that I'll get a new job in the next 6 months?'
I also think that tarot is descriptive and not the best tool for answering questions that need a yes or a no answer so I'll work with the querant to formulate a new question so something like 'Tell me about xxxx' or 'What does x need to know about xxxx?'

I've been working like this for years and I've never had a complaint from someone about how I change questions.. I think the important thing is to communicate with the people who come to you; explain why you find their questions difficult and work with them to get their questions to fit in with how you'd prefer to work..

Remember too though that tarot is sometimes just a bit of fun and not everyone wants an in-depth, psychological analysis reading . Sometimes in cases like that I've found it's best to just lay down 3 cards and say what you see.