punchinella said:
The thing is, these people are trained to keep pursuing it. They are obligated to continue "witnessing" to you for as long as you will allow it; they do not see it as a two-way discussion but rather as an opening which you have given them to spread "the Word." "The Lord works in mysterious ways," they think, secretly (or not so secretly) believing, hoping, and praying that their message is getting through to you.
It makes me laugh but it's frustrating. I know she can't hear me - I can see the cogs turning in her brain, and everything she says to me has no soul to it (I can hear the handle clanging against the empty bucket) - it's all learned by rote, I scared her last time because she got personal - I'm always willing to get personal, but I've noticed exactly that, it's a script. And the thing is, lol the more I see her, the more I end up stronger in my faith, because I end up asking myself many questions!
What's also interesting is I get the whole set up - she's trying to guilt me but I have nothing I feel guilty enough about for it to work. It angers and saddens me that that's the approach, and how hard it must be to walk around thinking you've got the whole world to save because of something you did. And the words she uses "I was dirty, now I'm clean" bleh.
I haven't mentioned tarot to her - and I'm not going to, she already can't cope with me respecting all religions and religious masters...but what's funny is 3 hours later I got a mini reading in which someone tells me that people are going to be ragging on me quite alot about my beliefs in the near future and I must must must, remember to do what I know to be true to me and that which has joy lightness and ease is where I should place my attention - I laughed so hard I was crying because that's exactly what my beliefs, tarot etc. are for me - and I find this woman and her doctrine so depressing, dark and cloying. She once told me that I as myself couldn't be trusted so I shouldn't listen to myself. I just wanted to hug her, how do you live like that?
punchinella said:
You may even have become a subject of prayer in local meetings. I wouldn't be surprised if a number of these people gathered together from time to time to pray for, among other things, your salvation. That's the way they operate.
Grrr - save yourself before you try and save others. But hey, if this is the only way they know to send out some love, I'm just going to leave them to it - I can't compete with the strength of personal fear. From another perspective, I'm going to have to find a way to bring all of this to a close with this woman. I have sensed before that I am pushing on her last nerve - and my constant holding out may tip her over. The more it goes on the more I get concerned for her mental state. Besides, I'm truly a waste of her time because I'm not for turning. This feels like the most responsible thing to do now.
(Well, actually, I think we are. We do not, for one thing, all hold the same set of cookie-cutter beliefs about how tarot works or what the cards mean . . .)