A "Tower" story... well... I had a "Tower" year last year.
My understanding of the Tower card is a situation, or event that exposes the truth in an earth shattering way. It shines light on things or people so that you see them for what they really are. Not a gradual exposure to the truth of the person or situation, but a sudden, painful, earth shaking, castle crushing exposure of the truth.
I've had several of those instances in the last year... Just to mention 2 of them.
My husband and I started having "issues" when he came home one day and asked me if I was sleeping around on him. I was shocked, the question had come out of no-where, and for no apparent reason. When I asked him what the H... had brought that up. He claimed that he'd been told by a reliable source that I was currently sleeping with the neighbor. It took nearly 2 months to find out that his "reliable source" was my mother (yup, my very own mother. Great, huh?). So, I confronted HER, and she finally admitted to my hubby that she "might" be mistaken. It's been a really bumpy road, but things are better now actually then they were before she tried to ruin our marriage. We'd been married 11 years when she tried to ruin things, and we'd gotten lazy and settled comfortably into our rutt. Her attempt to destroy our relationship has actually brought us closer together.
So that was "Major Tower Moment" number 1 for last year. I mean, your own parent trying to destroy your marriage is pretty "foundation shaking".
Then.. I had to cut my mother off from any sort of relationship with myself and my children, becuase she refused to respect her bounderies as "grandma".
I picked the kids up from visiting with her and my younger siblings (I currently have 4 siblings under the age of 18, 2 under the age of 12). I got a call later that evening from my sister, she said that my mother had taken a switch to both of my kids. They both had marks on the backs of thier legs from the switch she'd used.
When I confronted her with this, I got the "spare the rod, spoil the child" speech, that she'd used to justify her beating myself and my siblings (something that my step-dad had put a stop to on thier wedding day!).
Well, she refused to respect the bounderies that I had set down for her interactions with my children. She actually said that as my mother, and their grandmother, it was her "God-given right" to decide if my children needed discipline and for her to administer it, as I seemed to be spoiling them.
That was the "straw that broke the camel's back" as it were. We haven't spoken since last November, and pro'bly won't if she can't respect me, my husband and our rules.
So.. it was that last "tower moment".. that last earthquake, as it were, that has had me questioning EVERYTHING that I built my life on.
But.. despite having my world come crashing down around me, in various ways, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Because of my mother's insane attempt to ruin my marriage, my marriage is actually stronger then it ever was. My hubby and I are closer and have been working our way out of the "comfortable old shoe" rutt that we had eased into over the last 12 years.
Then, again because of my mother, I've been forced to rethink everything. So far no aspect of my life has escaped scrutiny. Who I am, What makes me "me", everything has come into question. From my parenting style to the books that I read.
I hadn't realized that even though I am in my 30's, she still had considerable influence in my life.
I can honestly say that because of my "Tower moments".. I am finally free to be me and I am enjoying living my life for the first time in my life. I no longer feel guilty for sending my children to public school, or for being a working mom, or for not going to church, or for indulging in an alcoholic beverage occasionally, or for reading the romance novels that I enjoy.
HB