G6
Very well put suk.
It really depends on what you mean by 'trustworthy' G6? A psychopath will be genuinely interested in you, for their own ends. Very charming, helpful, hard working, focused and all round not ringing alarm bells until either their plans no longer involve you, you are in their way or you need to serve their purpose. Only then do the gut instincts come into play. Guides may well not warn us about certain people because we have something to learn from them.
My advice is to learn how to read people, trust your gut instincts, avoid welcoming everyone into your life/head/space until they have proved themselves to be reasonable and genuine. That doesn't mean you become a hermit, only that psychologically, you keep a healthy distance mentally, spiritually and physically.
Be aware of what you are putting out which may be attractive to those who do not have your best interests at heart. Weakness, fear and cowardice attracts users, abusers and thieves. When you no longer 'need' others to complete your life, when you have looked into those scary places of fear and despair, coming out the other side, knowing yourself with courage and strength, then you become less attractive to those seeking to take or abuse.
When a rapist is seeking out a new victim, they tend to have a set of rules which help them to single out an easy target. Long hair (so they can grab and control), small stature, fits their personal visual preference (age, hair colour etc), walking alone, body language suggests a meek individual who won't fight back. So it is with those who have no genuine concern for our wellbeing - we may simply fit their criteria for whatever purpose they have in mind (think - snake oil seller!). So what we present to the world is just as important as what information we seek from others.
Challenging people always teach us something about our weaknesses if we are honest enough to look into that painful place. What did the last one do? How did you invite them in? This is where I would start and by doing so, grow strong in yourself.
Great stuff here! What I mean by trustworthy: reliable, dependable, honest, honorable, upright, principled, true, truthful, as good as one's word, ethical. Someone that is worthy of your trust. This thread is about detecting those that are not worthy of your trust.
You make some excellent points in your post about how these experiences with untrustworthy people show us our weaknesses aka ouchies (spots that need healing). Some of it may have to do with people pleasing, a need to get along/go along, fear of going alone, not being able to stand up for yourself, call people out, walk away. Fight back.
There's an idea that no one will ever say or do anything to you that you do not invite them to say or do. I agree that it's just as important to look at yourself and your 50% in everything. If someone treats you poorly they most likely did it because they thought you would allow it.
Betrayal can bring needed strength and wisdom. I agree if you need this type of healing/self-work you may not be able to detect these folks if it's a necessary lesson for your personal growth.