The Magician
My sisters and I got reacquainted again in the last few months; the 3 of us have had our own version of Tower moments and the emotional support we have been providing each other has been... comforting. When I insisted that my baby sister read Conversations with God... not Women who run with the wolves because Conversations actually made God seem approachable, she laughingly agreed.... IF I would read Eat Pray Love.
That's
REALLLY not the sort of book I would pick but my baby sister and I have a history of irritating each other with opposing taste in everything. She would insist on a having a butter cake with blue cream topping for her birthday when everyone wanted to have chocolate and I would choking on it while trying to muster a polite,
"yyyuuuummmmyyyyy...' (
NOT!!!!!). She would proudly wave "When A Man Loves a Woman" in my face when I specifically instructed her to bring home a horror movie...
... but what can I say? Despite our differences, my sisters and I share a bond that is an unconditional as you can get between people.
I was wrong
... am actually enjoying the book Eat Pray Love because from the first paragraph, it was like reading the exact story of my life since the tower collapsed. Its almost eerie how my own experience is perfectly mirrored by the author's
. Btw, the blue cake didn't taste all that bad and I cried at the end of When a Man Loves A Woman so... I think I'll finish the book because I am curious enough to see what happened in her story.
The Magician in the first deck shows a horned beast, self-mutilator (because I am a self-mutilator) trying to find a way to master the beast within. The Magician was trying to create something out of nothing the best way he knows how yet... you can tell from the picture, his understanding and methods are questionable. It does not stop him from trying because sometimes the only way from learning is through the experience.
Every act of creation is first an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso
The end of The Diary marked the start of my Starseed Rebellion. I have always referred to my Magician as half-beast, half-divine... Etching his soul's journey on his skin, paying the price with his blood. There is something both primal yet wise about him. He is the symbol of spiritual amnesia, a broken soul trying desperately to recall the memories deeply embedded within the core of his being. So my Magician back then said,
“I was asked to memorize what I did not understand; and, my memory being so good, it refused to be insulted in that manner.” - Aleister Crowley
This time, he takes a different path. Rather than stay rooted in rituals, he goes with the flow of creation and moves to its rhythm.
One is not idle because one is absorbed. There is both visible and invisible labor. To contemplate is to toil, to think is to do. The crossed arms work, the clasped hands act. The eyes upturned to Heaven are an act of creation. - Victor Hugo
Like him, I am addicted to the high that comes from creating something out of nothing. In the vast, open spaces of my imagination, I am without form and if I will it... I can create anything but
“In the absence of will-power the most complete collection of virtues and talents is wholly worthless.” -Aleister Crowley
This Magician is about to embark on a quest. Its all the little steps that make up the journey, right? Let's start over. It may take lifetimes or just the spaces between heartbeats. We choose.
A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. -Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We'll do whatever we will; we choose everything that happens even as we quietly tell ourselves we had no choice, to assuage some unacknowledged guilt or shame that cannot be justified or understood at the time we make our choices; we choose everything.
A life lived of choice is a life of conscious action. A life lived of chance is a life of unconscious creation. -Neale Donald Walsch
Nothing like a good fight to pass the time.
