How do I ask the right question of the cards?

[ainsorii]

Hi guys

Applogies is this is the wrong section to post this but I want to ask the question "Is he the one"

(for someone I am so hooked on, yet have never met because we chat on a dating site).

I don't know how to ask it with out being a yes/no question. I was going to do a 3 card spread using Rider Waite cards.

Do you have some good questions?

TIA xx

 

[Tobe]

What is the future laying ahead between us?
What should i expect from him?
How does he feel about me?
What role does he play in my life?
...etc

 

[ainsorii]

Ooo great! Thanks Tobe xx

 

[nisaba]

This is why thinking about your question is so important.

"The One".

The one whom you have a memorably intense one-week relationship with?

The one you never fight with - but just grow apart from?

The one you let get away?

The one who will murder you in your bed?

The one you will stay the rest of your life with in dissatisfaction or even misery?

The one whom you conceive children with and therefore can't ever forget about?

The one you fall hopelessly in love with and never seem to understand?

The one who pays your bills or leaves a trail of unpaid bills in joint names?

There are billions of people on the planet. What if your idea of "the one" is a person in a tribal community of Papua New Guinea without internet, without TV, with a culture of living and dying within a few miles of their birthplace?

It is my experience of life, having lived a long, long time, that there are plenty of "the ones". If you blow it with one of them, in a year or two the next one will be along. Relax. Don't put heavy demands on your relationships, it's a sure-fire way to make the relationship itself feel all Ten Wands and collapse.

 

[ainsorii]

That is incredible advice Nisaba, thank so very much x

 

[Sulis]

To add to the wonderful advice you've already been given, I'd say that tarot is descriptive, it paints a picture of a situation which often shows the past, how that's lead to the present and how your decisions now will lead to your future so asking a question that needs a yes or a no answer will always lead to ambiguity and confusion.. Those types of questions aren't wrong but there are better tools to use if you want to ask in that way - a pendulum or a coin flip for example.
I think asking a yes or a no question with tarot is like using a screw-driver to hammer a nail into a wall - it'll do it but it's much easier to use a hammer .

So ask open questions that will give you a descriptive answer.
Ask things like 'how', 'what', 'why' and 'tell me about'..

I really think that taking a few minutes to formulate the question you really want the answer to and trying to make it as understandable as possible makes the whole business of reading tarot so much easier.. So many times there are threads in the readings forums here where the main problem and the reason that no-one can fathom the meaning of the cards is because the question is so badly phrased..

 

[rota]

always go with open-ended questions of the tarot. there's always so much more buried in a reading than just a simple yes/no.

I think of it as an essay question, like on a midterm. 'Dear Tarot -- what are your thoughts about this?' ... and then just allow the spread to speak to you.

 

[ainsorii]

Thanks so much everyone xx

 

[SunChariot]

Hi guys

Applogies is this is the wrong section to post this but I want to ask the question "Is he the one"

(for someone I am so hooked on, yet have never met because we chat on a dating site).

I don't know how to ask it with out being a yes/no question. I was going to do a 3 card spread using Rider Waite cards.

Do you have some good questions?

TIA xx

I also do not use yes/no questions. I have found over time that they do not work for me. They do for some people, but not for me.

The best ways to avoid it are change "is" to "What can you tell me about if"

EG "Is Joe the one?" would become

"What can you tell me about if Joe is the one?"

That will result in a more paragraph form answer, which is how Tarot seems to talk best (at least to me) but should still answer the question.

Other variations are:
"What do I need to know right now about if"
"What would it most benefit me right now to now about if"..

or things along those lines.

I also find it helps to be specific about what you are asking, to get a clear answer. The more specific the question the clearer the answer.

What does "the one" mean? The one who is my soul mate". The one whom I will marry?... I have met soul mates who are no longer in my life. So defining what that means should help you get a clearer answer. Eg if you asked about if they were the one you would marry, the cards might start talking about marriage. Where if you did not include that in the question, they might not...

Hope that helps.

Babs

 

[nisaba]

EG "Is Joe the one?" would become

"What can you tell me about if Joe is the one?"

Or even better, something like: Tell me what it will be like between Joe and me.

I also find it helps to be specific about what you are asking, to get a clear answer. The more specific the question the clearer the answer.

On the other hand, too specific a question produces nonsense-answers if the basic premise that makes the question specific is incorrect. For instance, we've all seen people here asking questions about things like "where will I meet my next partner" or "who will be the partner that lasts the rest of my life".

What if, in the first instance, they will never find a partner again? What if, in the second, their future will consist of being in and out of short-term relationships? How can Tarot make an answer to a question when the actual shape of the question is wrong? Wouldn't such people be better off asking a less specific more general question like (both instances) "What can I do to make my future emotional life happier than my past emotional life"?

It's really only common sense not to get too specific.