Nightmare that makes me cry and cry and cry

[anonymous_artist]

I have just had the most horrible dream of my LIFE and I am sitting here at 3.30am balling my eyes out because of this dream.

I dreamt that my mother and I had decided to commit suicide together. The decision was completely rational and we had worked out the fine details. We came home that afternoon with a six pack of beer and a packet of sleeping tablets. First of all we drugged the animals so we would see them on the other side, and I watched as my darling cat slipped from this life to another. Then after a few more moments we two took the tablets with our beer but just as we were dying I said ‘NO I WANT TO LIVE, mummy mummy stop wake up I want you to live’ But it was too late (crying as I am writing this) she was gone. Then I fought to survive, feeling myself getting sleepy I struggled to stay alive and I could almost feel myself in the dream hyperventilating with fear because it was so real. My dad came home at some stage after and I told him what happened. He said nothing and just walked upstairs and lay down next to her and I screamed and I shouted for him to say something, do something but he remained still and silent. Then I remember coming downstairs and running from room to room like I had lost my mind, but was trying to find a phone book to call my brother while trying to survive and stay awake.

What does this mean. As such a vivid and real feeling about the dreams I was wondering if anyone could lend some insight. Though I do understand some of it I would LOVE the advise/insight of anyone who wishes to share.

Thank you & sorry to have posted such a ... morbid thread

 

[Tarotphelia]

It could be that you and your mother have come to some kind of covert psychological agreement that some part of yourselves will not be allowed to be expressed. In other words , this part of yourselves will be "killed off" .

There might be some aspect to your mother's personality or life she does not want to accept and would rather not exist . So she has made a decision that it will not be allowed . And it might be that as her child , she has passed this idea on to you and on some level you agreed. Since your father in the dream seems to cooperate too, he has some role in it also .

The terrible feeling you experience may be this part of yourself expressing itself to you - it doesn't want to be repressed or killed off and is seeking a way to communicate with you .

Or, on the other hand I could be totally wrong .

 

[Lillie]

It's a terrible dream to have.
No wonder it upset you.

It made me think because i have been having some dreams that are strange and upsetting (though nothing as upsetting as yours)

And to be honest, with mine, I always just end up dismissing them as 'just dreams'.
My mind just sorting stuff out in it's own sweet way.

Maybe dreams do have greater meaning or something, but with mine, if they have I'd rather not know.
it makes me feel better to think that they are 'just dreams' and nothing important.
that way they don't bother me.

I don't know, perhaps it would help you to just dismiss yours as an abberation, and let it fade the way dreams tend to fade.

I know my way is not always everyones way, but I just thought I'd suggest it.

 

[Mi-Shell]

An ab-reaction

Dear anonymous_artist!
My heart goes out to you!
The dream was frightening but the deeper psychological meaning is rather positive: you wish for yourself your mother and your pet (unconditional love, free spirit self) to have a fundamental change of being - operating/ interacting in your life. Your mother in your subconscious is ready for the change, you see the need but have fears of "the change" it will bring and are torn about leaving "IT" as it is- or changing without the option of backing out......
Your farther is one that momentarily is left behind, sympathetic but not there yet.....
He leans on mom for comfort, but does not communicate all his needs...
(He said nothing and just walked upstairs and lay down next to her )

(Then I remember coming downstairs and running from room to room like I had lost my mind, but was trying to find a phone book to call my brother)
You are looking for a solution in different areas, options...( an easier less dramatic one) and resolve to get help from an allay....

Does anything here make sense?
Pm me...

Nightmare that makes me cry and cry and cry =
What is happening here is called a psychological Ab-reaction = your psyche / soul rids itself from painful baggage of the past that hinders your growth.
It is good!
take the day of and cry and let your soul free rain ! it will stop usually within 36 hours.
It is a healthy process.
If you want to talk, e mail or pm ....
Mi-Shell

 

[Netzach]

What a dreadful dream to have (((((anonymous_artist)))))

But I think Mi-shell has given you a good interpretation and good advice. In Tarot terms, of course, "Death" means change . . . casting off the old to make way for the new.

One thing I thought interesting was the drugging of your pets so that you would meet them on the other side. So, although you're still clinging on to the current situation, you're aware that even if things change you will still have those you love around you.

Ultimately what it comes down to is not the loss of those you love (you were going over with your mother and with your pets) but the change to something unknown and perhaps frightening.

My Zen teacher told me once that it's not uncommon for people who are doing a great deal of meditation to dream that they are about to die. Usually they're not bothered by it (in the dream). But on the two occasions it happened to me, it was very scary! However, it is about opening up new pathways and developing beyond the place where you are at the moment.

 

[anonymous_artist]

Thank you everyone for your advise and insight. Though I was terribly upset when I had the dream, I can now look at it from another angle with the insight you all have given me.

The last six months have been horrible for me because I have been at a cross roads without knowing what to do or where do go, I have been totally directionless which has plundged me into a depression. The weight of not knowing what to do or where to go with my life has built up to a paramount level of late causing great stress. I have not wanted to face decision making of what to do because I have been scared of making the wrong decision and adding to the pressure is my own need to fulfill the expectations which my mother has for me.

So I suppose all of this great stress and worry and ill feelings have kind of boiled to the surfice in my dream ... maybe

Thank you again everyone.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

 

[Netzach]

So I suppose all of this great stress and worry and ill feelings have kind of boiled to the surfice in my dream ... maybe

It certainly sounds like it. And the dream was showing you just how terrified you are of moving on. Can you perhaps get some help from a counsellor or a life coach? If your situation is causing this amount of stress it would probably help considerably if you could talk to someone about it.

 

[HudsonGray]

It might help to think that all mistakes you make are learning experiences and end up opening new doors and options for you that didn't exist before. They're not all bad and you can benefit more from them than by doing everything perfect the first time around.

All mistakes are opportunities. Don't be afraid to make them. It's the only way we learn.

 

[Emelgee]

I once had a dream that I died - or close enough to it. Even now I can remember this feeling of my body slowing down and my consciousness dimming...but then a little spark of my mind willing my heart and body to continue on. It was (at the time) one of the most distressing dreams I had ever experienced and threw me for weeks.

I think all of the posts in reply to your dream have great merit.

We all will go through periods of not knowing where our lives are headed. At first, this can seem a curse but, if you are able to see through the fear, it can actually be the most wondrous blessing for you...Things change, people change and we find our strength through being able to find and maintain our centre while everything seems to be crazy around us. We realise we can be strong and soft at the same time once we accept the impermanence of existence.

Meditation is always a useful tool. Just to feel your centre for even 5 minutes each day is a great start.

 

[memries]

My heart goes out to you as well. It is like all your fears and insecurities were operating in this horrendous dream. It was just a dream however. Thank God !