tarot: offensive

[Kiama]

My Mother is the only one in my (very large) family who has given me a response similar to the one you got. She just declared one night that she would "never ever ever ask me for a reading and that's the end of the story." Every now and then she repeats this sentiment. Implied within it is a dislike of Tarot - but at the same time she has never tried to stop me doing it. In fact she's watched with bemused interest as my deck collection grew and I started teaching Tarot and writing articles on it...

So i guess what I learned from this is that as long as people don't expect you to suddenly stop using Tarot because they think it's wrong/evil/satanic/ignorant you just have to put up with it. If it's somebody very close to you I'd suggest having a polite word with them and saying something along the lines of, "I know you don't agree with Tarot but to me it is not evil/satanic/ignorant - it is an enlightening and interesting hobby that I wish to explore further."

Okay, so it's upsetting when somebody close to us disapproves of something we deeply enjoy, but if it isn't Tarot it would be something else - humans simply aren't made to agree on everything!

Kiama

 

[BodhiSeed]

Ignorance breeds fear... Fear breeds insane and twisted assumptions and reactions.

Hang in there... Not all people are ignorant!

Many blessings,
Bodhran

 

[sharpchick]

Grrrr can people please learn what the hell they are talking about when they start talking rubbish about things they know nothing about!

Probably not. . . in all likelihood, they are the same way about other things for which they have no interest or knowledge.

 

[NightWing]

Raging Ignorance

If it is any consolation to those here who have encountered rampant ignorance, prejudice, or fear in other people regarding tarot, perhaps we could try to put it into some perspective.

Historically, it could be argued that ignorance and its companions have caused enormous suffering and death on a massive scale, when one nation, religious group, tribe, clan, family, or individual attacked another because of a lack of knowledge or understanding, and the fear that was engendered. Consider all the "heretics" of human history, in politics, religion, science, the arts, and so on.

Of course, it is still very much with us today, as a force in world, regional, local, or familiy affairs. One has only to bring to mind current and recent elections, battles, economic sanctions, religious strife, scientific egoism, and "revenge" on all levels (to mention a few examples), to see the hideous effects of modern worldwide ignorance of our fellow human beings and their lives/lifestyles.

Millions of people have died due to the ignorant fears of others. Millions of people suffer today. It makes our problems regarding attitudes to tarot seem relatively small.

 

[Sian100]

You're absolutely right, NightWing. Ignorance can be the root of terrible things.

 

[Alissa]

In acting, I discovered one universal truth: Anger always masks Fear.

If someone "attacks" you, they are hiding their fear and using their anger to seem in control of that which they inherently frightened of and mistrust. We can't control that, but we can control how we react, such as I'm sure you did.

Some folks get angry back, but why get angry, I say? I don't get angry when my son is afraid of thunder... even though I know there's nothing to be afraid of. Same principle applies to this kind of superstition and ignorance... they don't know any better, and people often instinctively fear what they don't understand.

Poor babies... the world is so scary, so big and unknown....

 

[wildchilde]

Hi Ellie121,
I'm sorry to hear that you have been made to feel so uncomfortable in your home due to your Uncle's fears & misunderstandings. After reading this thread and your second explanetary post two questions come to mind:

1) given your cousin's young age, is it possible that the reason for your Uncle's attitude change after his "joke" about the tarot could be related to being uncomfortable with the idea of his 12 year old daughter having a "love life" and not about tarot at all? (just a little 'devil's advocacy' here), and

2) have you (in private) done any spreads to help you understand his change in attitude and get a better perspective on the real issues at hand?

Obviously, he knows you study Tarot, and since you are living in his house and apparently (I'm assuming) has not expressed these feelings before now...I have to wonder if there are other fears at issue here that are completely unrelated to whether or not Tarot is a bad/evil thing. You don't say what his exact words were, so I know I'm assuming a lot, but I think you could benefit from looking at this issue from other points of view other than "He hates Tarot and anything related to it including me". It's also possible that other members of your family have exposed him to Tarot in negative situations which now makes him uncomfortable with the idea of Tarot as a divinitory practice. There are a lot of issues between your exchange that have not been addressed. It would be interesting to hear the "rest of the story".

 

[Ellie121]

ok so i will clarify-

the main issue is the tarot-
He just doesnt like it. My family want nothing to do with it.
They think its fine that im using them but they dont agree with it and disreguard it totally.

The reason he reacted the way he did was nothing to do with his 12 year old having/not having a love life but the fact that we were joking about using the tarot cards on her- it really really struck him.

The WAY he said it - his tone- was like he was very scared of what they will do to her. thats why i was shocked because he doesnt understand. We dont even talk about the cards unless im using them while he is there and can see. Usually he jokes that im putting spells on him which shows that people are very unware of what tarot is.

There is no hostility in the house at all whatsoever- it was just this one occasion when i saw his true feelings about the tarot in a non-joking sense.

 

[Amhran]

Well, from now on, I would use the cards when he's not around. No need to stir things up and cause more worry on his part. And that means less hassle for you as well.

I do get the feeling that while he may not approve of the cards that there indeed may be an underlying issue. Perhaps he is afraid to see his little girl grow up and get into anything that may hurt her. That is a very normal fear for a father. Love life, the occult--I can see how he may be starting to worry since age 12 is on the edge of adolescence. It is the age when children start exploring and rebelling. Sure, his fears may be totally ungrounded, but real for him nonetheless. Just remember that he is vulnerable right now and have a little compassion. But don't give up on tarot, of course!

 

[SunChariot]

I had a very bad reaction from my boyfriend whom I had been living with 14 years at the time when I started reading Tarot. He is the most gentle man who hardly ever gets angry. But when he found out and saw I had my first deck he was like "You're going to do WHAT???" And he kept yelling and screaming until I finally told him I'm not giving it up for him whether he likes it or not. It's who I am and either he respects me for whom I am or he doesn't. If he can't respect me I would leave.

In the end we decided just to never discuss it again. Although once in a while it still slips out, like he can't say the word Tarot without calling it "that Tarot crap". It did create a rift between us to some extent.

I don't know if it's offensive, I guess it is to some, but sometimes I think people find it just threatening, and they don't want to consider it could work as that would force them to change their view of reality. And a lot of people are terrified of that, of having to change the way they see the world. Easier to put something down that to try and change yourself.

I think the point is that these people don't want to change or to even think about it ever again in their lives. I think they would rather hide from it than face it. They're scared stupid and just wish the whole thing would go away so they never have to think of it again. Bringing the topic up in front of them will likely get an unpleasant reaction for that reason.

Babs