Foundations. . .
Again a new one for me.
I'm curious what you mean as you have said many times in this reading that is "new one" for you, and later "hard and confusing". I would like to know more. What is it "normally" like for you?
I am holding a stone tile and it has dust all over it, I think because it was freshly cut. And that threw me so I stopped for a bit and came back and when I looked again I placed the stone down and it just "fit" into place. no mortar.
The Tower has been coming up for me relentlessly as what I need to "expand" to help me be more balanced. This was so difficult for me to understand that I actually posted a thread on getting more info and help from ATers to understand the reading position of: "expanding" with the card: the Victorian Romantic Tower. The VR Tower is one of the most intense Tower cards I've ever seen. So I am re-doing my foundation, since my old foundation is obviously outdated.
all the stone looked beige, natural colors. and you got up and walked towards a table and on the right there was a water drain. . . more like a built-in feature for water to flow in. It was a foot across and I don't know how deep. Kinda like a stream built into the floor.
I also have been getting the 8 of cups continuously. So this "drain" must be how I'm letting go of the old emotional energy that I no longer resonate with. I'm focusing on making this release of un-needed emotional residual energy to be always releasing, so I must be successful since you saw a "built-in feature"! 
As I read what you wrote, I too have immersed myself into seeing the pictures you describe, almost like a guided meditation. It is SO fascinating, because it makes so much sense.
there were water fountains and other statues around. . . on the table where pots and troths that held flowers and plants that you watered. It seemed open like an old Greek or roman building. No walls or feeling of "confined". .
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I feel like you were actually doing some repair work because the rest of the floor was done and you had a feeling of "there that fixes that" when you laid the stone.
yay. That is SUCCESS in my mind!
Maybe you have had to make some adjustment in your life concerning the things you depend on. or you just repaired an old problem that now makes your life a little easier because its fixed. Like you don't have to trip over it when you walk across the floor. Your foundations seem very solid and stable but there was no mortar so I feel like you allow room for change. . . or if any one piece gets damaged it is easier to repair. This also shows I think that you have built your stability on platforms that my not be connected in a conventional way but you seem to make work for you in a "stable" way.
Since my birthday/life number is a 5, and I'm a thinker, I'm in a constant state of change. I don't like to be stagnant. I'm always looking for ways to twist around the negative versions of the 5 cards that so many Tarot artists and authors portray as they copy the RWS pictures. I am NOT interested in living my life at most cards portray the minor 5's which are the "day to day" activities in life. Heck, the Anna K Tarot says there is NO positive version of the 5 of swords, arggggg..... Since I'm a 5 and a thinker, I am absolutely NOT interested in living my life as portrayed as "no positive side" as so many 5 of swords are described. I'm finding ways to twist that 5 of swords card to find positive angles, so my life is exciting and fun as a "thinker" 5...
The water way was not very clean, and I had a feeling like you are "sprucing up" fixing and mending your foundations. You need to clean and unclog the water way. I guess this talks about you needing some refreshing creative flow in your life. . . I feel like you see this and know this and have that next one your list...Also it seemed dark like you need to cleanse and purge your creative energies.
Most Tower cards have lots of water around the base. So I see this as purging the old emotions that have been drowning me, and focusing on the creativity in all areas: emotional, spiritual, energetic, physical, mental.
Please stick with me.. this is very interesting and something new to me in the way of images. . .
Foundations are Ideas/beliefs/life structures that we depend on and help give definition to our life. our reasons for doing things. . You have a nice garden on the table and you are watering the plants. There is growth in your life but it is in a controlled kinda way. There is a large part of your life and "Self" that you have left unattended for some time and you create and develop on the old. It is very resent that you have decided to clear out the dust and return your "self" to its old glory. . . Its like your "self" was once a beautiful structure that was peaceful and had a creative flow but you stopped maintaining it and just focused on the flowers on the table. I don't know why you did this. Maybe you didn't have the time to maintain what you once had or the energy but, you made sure you kept up the most vital aspects of your "self" and had a place to grow/develop new ideas and sustaining growth.
I have been working, working, working. And I have health issues, so my productivity is much slower than before the health issues. My vitality is very stressed. I'm a super efficient person, so I have resentment because I have always exercised, eaten well, etc, so I'm not "suppose" to have these health issues. I'm doing my best to stop this resentment, because resentment is toxic. This resentment is probably one part of the "old dust" you describe. My husband also has health issues. We both have spine problems: mine is the neck and his is the lower back. We both have herniations. Then, there are other problems too...
As a result, I have been neglecting my creativity since I need to make sure the $ is there so the house payment and the bills get paid. BUT, the message is that I will actually be MORE productive if I stop trudging and muscling through everything that needs to be done. Oh boy, I'm still re-programing myself there. I need another "stone tile" that you talked about at the very beginning. The "stone tile" with "no motar" so I can adapt and go with the flow and stop this trudging and fighting...
Also, I love my garden, but lately it's felt more like a chore since weeding, etc, is needed. I "focused on the flowers" in order to get me through the pain. I need to focus on something, or the pain overwhelms me and I become an emotional basket case.
I do have a garden pot fetish. It is VERY hot here in the summer, so the pots need a LOT of watering. Hmmm, they need a lot of emotional tending if we look at this symbolically. I am thankful we did get an automatic watering system for the garden, but the pots still need to be hand watered. Today, I "played" in the garden as a result of listening to these messages being given to me!
and Like I said. you are now getting back to cleaning up and straightening and mending the old "self" back to its glory... your next step you see is to get the water way cleaned out and unclog so the creative energies can start flowing again.
I need to be healthy again. That is my old "self". I am letting go of, and "clean out" the resentment/emotions that you say are "clogging" my energy from feeling sorry for myself and struggling with enormous debilitating pain issues.
The emotions. I find my self in the country and it is nice out side there is a house in front of me and as I walk closer there is a Very large fruit tree in the front yard and you are outside with a basket and wave me over and we go inside. It is a nice/modest house. Nothing fancy very serviceable. and very Airy, the windows are open and its peaceful...I comment on this and you kinda laugh and point out the back window to the back yard and you say so I can keep an eye on them... and there is a white animal (white dog/sheep/goat?) and a child playing back there. . .
Yes, there I am helping others, I'm a helper: the white animal and the child. No, we don't have children, so you were right on with that!
I would say that emotionally you are enjoying the fruits of your labor and you have, and are willing to share these fruits with others. You enjoy comfortable and serviceable environments. You take pride in what you have. You are not complicated, you like to keep things simple. You seem to take on the role of guardian. You keep an eye on those you care about. I don't think this was your kid..could be related to you but felt like you create an environment where they feel safe and you feel obligated to make sure they don't get into any kinda trouble while they are under you care. . The house was very open. if you have secrets you keep them very well hidden because I could see the whole house. I Didn't go looking around everything. just an observation. I tend to think you are just an open person. You will tell any one anything they ask you about yourself..(maybe not ANY ONE but those you invite in). . . I could also see right through your house. I think people find you trustworthy and honest because you don't come off as sneaky. You very open about what you do and how you feel. I get the feeling you are emotionally stable enough to nurture others. If some one comes to you for help or with problems there is enough of "you" that you can help them. . You where cutting and offering me bread. . . You are a good host to those you invite in. . You seem calm and happy enough.
My business is advertising. So I help business owners be more successful with the advertising I do for them. My advertising magazine is the most cost effective and most productive ads available in our town in general. Helping people is critical to me and the way I am. Now I have to help myself instead of drowning...
Mental. . . Hard and confusing so stick with me.
I had to toss a lot of colors around to see what would stick and then this bright sword arches across and down through the dark. I don't see a person or had. just the glint of the sword...
I'm a Gemini. My birthday/life number is 5. I am a thinker. I am learning to be more intuitive instead of stuck being logical, so this makes total sense to me!
then the color orange stuck and I drew it across and it became a quill pen that rested on a tea saucer. I get this after image of a nice sitting room, sunny, with small floral patterns of light yellow fabric (not sure if this is literal or just to convey a mood). and off to the left I see blue smoke....
When I'm in a good, balanced space, my psychic friend says I run a sunny yellow color, so you are seeing the same thing as him with this yellow color. Hmmmm, what's the blue smoke. I asked my guide for a symbol recently and I got a blue butterfly. Maybe the blue smoke symbolizes my guide always there for me?
From the "Tea" setting I take it that you are willing to entertain most ideas. You like to take your time and consider problems and their ramifications. The quill pen makes me think you are articulate and take the time to think about your actions and plan them out to an extent, knowing the repercussions before you commit to an idea or action. Also the yellow prevailing through this makes me think you are an intelligent person and despite your emotional wealth, you think logically.
The sword is kinda a interesting image. It stands apart from the tea room and I get very (is it cold?) distant, detached, focused intent from this wielder I can't see. I get the impression you have recently had to do some "cutting away" in your life.
I had neck surgery June 2006. Literally a blade cutting into my throat and cutting away the herniated disk problem area. Also, my life card is the 8 of swords according to Mary Greer's "Tarot for Yourself". So, yes, I'm a thinker. Now the key is to stop binding myself with unproductive thoughts.
this sword swung through the dark. I think that you have had to use your intellect as a weapon to both defend your self and give clarity to a situation. by protect it may just mean that you had to give strength to your self to "follow through". I get the feeling that you have that in your nature to do very difficult things that take a bit of emotional detachment if it is better for you and necessary. And you have had to do this recently. Maybe in the semi recent past and it still lingers. The Queen of Swords WILL come out if and when necessary. Just not who you are ALL the time.
Spiritual.
I get a very lush vibrant landscape that is very green and sharp blues. There is a spotted faun that Is jumping to the left and a white rabbit. I see the Empress" she sit on a throne in the glad. I walk from the west and she sits in the east, behind her is a Large mirror, in front of her are the faun grazing and the white rabbit. in her lap is some thing white... I look closer and it get distorted and looks like a (?) . She looks past the faun into the woods at the end of the glad and they are dark and I get this "male" Pan presence watching. he has the feeling of the darker aspects of nature.That of death, harsher ideas like killing, and hunting...all aspects of nature. Reality, the way of things.
I'm focusing on the energy of the Empress. Nurturing myself as an Empress would nuture.
The fawn reminds my of my mother's energy.
I feel you have a very strong spiritual connection due to the vividness of the colors.
The Empress stands for growth and rebirth. It also is the symbol for manifestation.
The rabbit is also a sign of rebirth. White is a color for purity
The faun (to me) symbolizes innocents and a fragile being, needing protection.
The Mirror is a symbol for reflection.
I look at your spiritual connection and I am drawn into a seen that I think is more a message then me looking at your spiritual connection.
Yes, I am focused on connecting to my spiritual self 24/7. I have decided there is no point in being un-connected. The key is for me to follow through, do my meditations, etc, and stop getting tangled in thoughts.
The empress coddles something and seems distracted and forlorn. I think you have been distracted over a loss of some kind. I think this is more a message. That you need to move past this and focus on other areas that DO still exists (the rabbit) and your charges that need your protection (the faun).
It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. The question is how when the pain overwhelms??? It's a headache that is 24/7. Before 2002, I never had a headache except if I was sick, or had the flu, etc. A VERY challenging situation!
The throne faces the west but as I am walking from the west I see the east behind you off into the distance and I feel like you have your back to your kingdom (dreams, hopes) and there is a Mirror that is behind the throne. I think this says that you are blocking yourself from “manifesting” your own dreams.
I'm ready to stop blocking myself. I deserve to "manifest my dreams", period!
You are more mindful of your limitations then you are your freedoms. The throne faces the dark forest and Pan waits quietly.
I also have pulled the Devil as what can help me, and this has confused me. Maybe what you are seeing here has to do with this Devil energy "helping me" somehow, but I'm not yet clear on this yet. Maybe it's the message that the Devil can help me overcome my fears? I'm still not quite understanding yet.
I know I said you are distracted, but when you Do rise to awareness you see the dark forest (your fears) not your sonny kingdom (your dreams). I don’t know if the faun and the rabbit are people and or the represent something spiritual. Such as the faun being a new practice that you are baby stepping a need to focus more on and not allow the opinions of other destroy or distort, and the rabbit meaning a rebirth in the areas of “awareness”.
Interesting ideas for the symbols there!
Both need more attention then you are giving them. And you need to embrace the fullness of your “kingdom” the Dark Forest and the Sonny Kingdom, not one over the other but a more balanced view of both. And you must embrace your fears as well as your dreams. even though i feel your fears are getting more attention, it is not healthy. you should see them as reality and limitations to respect and over come... not a looming dark forest you don't want to enter. and do not neglect your dreams for not wanting to face your "Self" .
I TOTALLY agree that being stuck on the fears are not healthy. It's figuring out how to not be stuck in the pain that is overwhelming my world. How the Devil/Pan can help me is what I'm interested in understanding better. hmmmmm?
Ok I don’t know if that made any sense but there you have it.
Overall, this reading makes LOTS of sense. If you, or anyone reading this, can enlighten me on how to have the Devil help me here? I'm interested in getting unstuck!
Your surroundings.
I thought about sharing this with you it seemed odd. but I will share it.
I got "the Sea" and then I was zoomed in on this Island... and that was odd ...so I backed away and I came back and I looked again and this I see all this black behind you like a wall and your focus on something you are "keeping hidden?". Seems like you are keeping your distance from others for some reason or another.
I am a Hermit. My husband is too. So even though I'm helping people with the advertising regarding the business side of things, socially, we do need to figure out how to be more social. We do need to find more balance there.
I know I said you are emotionally an open person but even then your house was on a wide field with no other house around. . .
This is so us. We own property so we don't have neighbors. It's often quieter here, than when we go out into the woods. Elbow room is critically important to us.
this is perplexing.... its like you are trying to keep others out of what you are focusing on, or that your attention is SO focused on something you don't notice others. The Island I feel means that you try to keep to yourself in that you don't want to depend on others TOO much, you'd rather if you could fend for yourself and manage alone if that was possible.
You hit it right on! My husband says he would love to live in the middle of 160 acres so we could really be away from society in our home space.
FenestraThought said:
Well, that is what I got. Seemed very interesting... Again, sorry it took so long. . .
You are SO AWESOME for spending time on this and taking the time to type it all out. I appreciate it IMMENSELY!!!
