Is tarot for mere peons who had too much coffee?? LOL

[Tobaira]

Yikes!

Bladeraven, you must have the patience of a saint! From what I've picked up here in the forum, you are very skilled with Tarot, and you've worked hard to become so! You need friends like this like you need another dirty diaper!!! (*grin*) I like Huredriel's suggestion - charge her! Person B will get a clue eventually.

BTW, she needs to stop pitching your name to her poor hapless soon-to-be-therapy-bound victims. You don't need the local public tossing your good name into the same category as hers when it come to Tarot! Recommendations are great so long as they come from a reputable source.

 

[Apollonia]

Another thing here is that you may wish to consider putting the books away when you do a face to face reading. When you are the reader, you are the authority, period. And if you read intuitively, let the querent know right up front (even if it's a friend) that at times what you are saying won't match up with traditional meanings they may be aware of.

And yes, start charging. I have a very tiny roster of people I don't charge--family and the two friends who helped me practice at the beginning. If she wants another free reading, I would thank her for "helping me develop my skills" and tell her that I now feel it's time to begin charging, and this is what the fee will be (reduced for her, of course). Or offer to trade readings with her as a barter, and let her see what it's like to sit sweating on the other side of the table while your querent looks all squinty-eyed at you.

 

[Sulis]

You've had some very good advice here.

I agree with Apollina's advice - don't leave books out when you're doing a reading, especially if you're doing 2 readings because the person who has just had her reading or is waiting for their reading could well pick up the book and start to give their own take (based on the book).

I also agree that you should inform them that you've decided to charge.

I very rarely read for friends, mainly because I don't want to go delving into their personal problems but also because I think it is often like opening a can of worms when you read for people you are close to.

In my opinion strangers who pay you for your services (and therefore respect you as a professional who knows what she is doing) is by far the best way to go if you're doing face to face readings.

 

[bladeraven]

There's been some really great advice and definetley will be enacting them...It really was disappointing when I initially did it, I was excited for myself to be able to share this and since Person B expressed interest...figure, "hey no big deal, I don't mind teaching her," but it definetely brings to mind, give an inch and they'll take a mile...

Sigh...you hit it on the nose, Sulis, defintely a can of worms was open. I know for me, I was just too nice, too naive, and underestimated her. I didn't even think nothing about the book or anything and figure subconsiciously, I'm just sharing, but sigh...it's like trying to be nice and feed a group of ducks only to be overwhelmed...

Hmm...think it'll be enough to tell her...I'm charging "$20.00" for readings as a way to make extra money for the holidays? Hopefully that'll dissuade her from constantly asking me and telling everyone, hey this is what she does...I mean she wants to keep reading on her own...great...and may the Tarot Gods show mercy and help her learn along the way...but it's just irking to me that I feel like I'm just being insulted like a show monkey...

Any ideas what to do about the name pitching...already "Hiding" right now since it's getting close to Halloween...thankfully a friend, whom gets label "Person C"..lol, and I discussed this and she was basically...don't worry, if "Person B" brings anything up about you and Tarot readign, I"ll (Person C) will say thanks but I don't want to bother her (me) about that unless she (me) brings it up and since it's a PERSONAL thing she doesn't want flaunted without her permission. Whew...there.

For me, it feels very tacky she's "volunteering my services" without even asking me, and to top it off...in retrospect, put me on the spot about doing a reading when she and Person A was suppose to come over for "just a visit".

Good ideas everyone though about the charging...Lol...I guess I'm just passive aggresive, but needed a "polite and more tactful approach" to dealing with this and finding a way to nip it in the bud.

What's sad, is that everyone she is volunteering to me, I can tell they feel put on the spot and are embarrassed too and it's like okay do I joke and say, "Et Tu" or how can I get out of this without embarassing myself, her and everyone involved...


I want to be able to share Tarot reading with everyone, but it really bugged me it went from sharing to suddenly, "I'm everyone's Reader" and particularly in the fact it was really done without thinking that, hey she (me) might have other things and there is a reason she isn't doing this professionally or all the time.

I think the best analogy is the book, "When you give a Mouse a cookie..." that my son has...we've been trying to teach him, how to be polite when someone offers him a treat, but that it's rude to keep asking for more, without thinking about the other person, (particularly with it getting close to trick or treat and we are trying to teach him, to not ask for more candy from the same person, doesn't work like that) and that maybe they are being nice but that doesn't mean an invitiation to invite oneself all the time to the cookies....except if they are cover with fudge then in that case, its a drag out fight...muhahahaha.

At the same time...thank you everyone for responding...It's help me get a good laugh and find a way that won't leave me feeling like such a Grinch, on top of screening my phone calls...LOL

I was so afraid I would come off looking so rude and yet...unfortuantely nothing in Miss Manners on how to deal with friends who keep asking for unsolicited tarot readings all the time after being politely offer just one. Lol..thank you everyone for being Miss Manners and helping me get out of sticky situation without having to go into the witness program.

 

[Jewel]

Bladeraven you are a saint! I would have given Person B a piece of my mind after Person A left. Friends don't set friends up that way. In your shoes I would have been offended and hurt. I would also have pointed out to Person B how Person A now feels. There are consequences to actions and Person B deserves a nice dose of honesty and a lesson in how to treat friends. She also needs some informaiton on ethics in reading, at least you will know you tried to help her understand.

If Person B learns by books, then give her the AT address and perhaps Tarot Passages, so she can look up books and purchase them, as well as buy her own deck. Although I must admit I did like the Thoth and Book of Thoth idea, as well as the Marseilles *LOL* ... then again that would probably make her come running to you, which is what you want to avoid. But I would collect my stuff from her, and point her in the direction where she can buy her own.

As for reading for her, I would tell her exactly how I felt if I were you. Be honest with her. I think you owe that to yourself, and she needs to know how she made you feel. If she is a good friend, which you believe she is, she will apologize and not take offense by this. And if you really don't want to read for her anymore then don't and tell her why. If no one tells her how her behavior makes them feel because "that is who she is", then how will she know how it makes others feel?

 

[bladeraven]

Lol...I feel like a sucker..Lol..but only way to learn right? Lol

I was reflecting on the advice everyone's shared about charging and then hubby called so I told him...hey I found a way out without feeling so bad (I'm so passive aggressive I know)..and he started laughing and went...it makes sense...and reaffirmed what everyone had said here by telling me "Think how many doctors and lawyers are asked for "free advice" when they aren't working. Maybe Person B just thinks this is a novelty since this isn't something you don't find many people doing everyday and by charging, it'll make her realize you're serious about this and it's just not a game and she'll stop."

Okay not exact quote...but I just got to be proactive.

It also made me realize...she probrably thinks I treat it as a game, some hush hush novelty like schoolgirls having a slumber party and dragging out the Ouija board....by telling her...sorry, but I'm going to have to start charging since I can't "afford" to constantly give freebies out, she'll realized, this is something I take seriously and not to treat like it's a game.

If she wants to treat it like a game...that's fine she can with her own self...more than likely she'll get bored, and HOPEFULLY I can save face, by distinquishing myself from her...Hmm..tempted to print out "business cards" just in case....Lol.

Just reading this thread and everyone's response, made me realize I feel like a sucker..LOL, but it was meant in good intentions, I seriously didn't expect her to get greedy....and if I tell her, it'll cost her....that'll cut a lot of the requests down.

I feel bad though too...unintentionally starting something I shouldn't and it's really my fault too for not laying out ground rules and not doing things like leaving the books out for easy access...I took it for granted myself and should have known better...

It's sad , since I normally don't mind doing this for other people, particularly within a group of friends, but then again, for sake of time and sanity AND preserving my reputation since she's going to sullen it if I don't nip this in the bud fast....

Definetely a good lesson on how to handle Tarot reading for casual byer's.

*hugs* love you guys and thank you for the great advice...definetely help me find a polite and dignify way of weaseling out of her next phone call for a reading without praying the baby has a VERY big and dirty diaper...rofl.

It was that or accidently drop the poor deck in the diapers and go...oh no..can't read today...lol

 

[Tobaira]

You have absolutely no reason to feel bad or feel like a sucker! You are a kind and giving soul and were doing what comes naturally to you... you were trying to help a friend. Just because your friend took advantage of your kindness and generosity doesn't make you a sucker or at fault!!!! How were you to know things would turn out like this? Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Part of growth. Now you know that you can still help people, but maybe laying a few light ground rules for the future would be a good thing. Hang in there! Don't let this episode change the caring person you are!

LOL... drop the cards in the diaper! Something tells me the cards would have something to say about that!!!!!! (*grin*)

 

[Tarotphelia]

I think all you have to say to get out of readings is something like "Person B is giving readings now , not me. " Because I think that is what Person B is really after . She's still insecure at the moment , and that's why she still needs you . But you're not the point at all because she intends to take over one way or another . She's probably impressed with herself that she can do it at all and thinks it's just an easy fun game that will bring her attention and money in the future .

I'd refer her to something like Idiot's Guide to Tarot and just stay out of the way . I'd get me a big old tarot headache and not be able to read for her anymore.

 

[YDM42]

This topic title make me think of that "coffee achievers" commercial, perhaps enlightenment and steamy drinks go together - perhaps the steam kind of cleans the 3 eye?

 

[Aura Wolf]

I would do that... and give her one of Aleister Crowley's books with it... and that she can come back for Readings once she understood it... Somehow I imagine she would quietly slink away after that *hihi*

Talk about behaviour rules with her. Even if it's just fun for her - you take things more seriously. I don't do Readings for free anymore mostly exactly because this happens. People asking over and over and over - while not taking me serious about what I'm actually telling them. They are just looking for a 'thrill' - that's a waste of your precious time =)

Kahlie

I agree with both of you on this one. I've had this happen to me in situations with friends...maybe I shouldn't be so quick to give them readings. It's hard to turn them down when they're curious about tarot and haven't had one done before...but the downside is that they normally don't have a serious question to ask, or a serious attitude. Granted, tarot can be fun, but sometimes people treat it like a game and don't immediately absorb that it's not necessarily a psychic tool, nor am I....and that's the kind of thing that will just drive me nuts...