Sexual orientation and the tarot

[penelope802]

If you must go to this reader after all, whether or not there is even a chance of being outed would depend on the question. If you are looking for advice regarding what kind of car to buy, for example, you are unlikely to be outed.

Oh no, nothing like that. We're exchanging readings. Just more practice for me. He's very good, and he suggested it the last time I gave him a reading.

 

[firemaiden]

Yes, as in he does not approve... Of course, that could just be him talking out of his ass. His son is my best friend, and he was the same way until I came out to him, and then he accepted me...

It's possible of course that your honesty to him would also change his mind. Oh boy... it sounds like a strained relationship as it is, not so good having to hide who you are from someone --maybe do what Brighteye mentioned, ask him for a reading that will not touch on your personal life, like what kind of car to buy ... otherwise, I'd say forgo the reading.

 

[Celcius]

I assume, if I ask for a reading from someone, that anything could come up. Never ask questions if you are not willing to deal with the answers.

That said, as an ethical tarot card reader, I would never reveal what I saw in a reading to anyone but the querent.

 

[Disa]

Is it possible he already knows? Maybe you could ask his son (since he's your best friend) how his father might react?

I hate that you are having to go through this at all, it shouldn't even be something that's an issue but then again I live in lala land where people should all get along.

I hope all goes well for you, I really, really do.

Disa

 

[Grizabella]

There are lots of threads here about determining sexual orientation through the cards. A search would bring some of them up. That might help you with what you're concerned about, although most of those threads end up a little heated about whether or not it's ethical to try to determine someone's sexual orientation that way.

Does this man know his son is gay? If he does, then he's probably at least suspected that you are, too.

I'm sure if a really accomplished reader were to look for it specifically, they might be able to tell with a fair amount of accuracy. I wouldn't ever say it's not possible. But if I were you, I'd just do the exchange and if it comes up, you don't have to expose your secret if you don't want to.

Yes, as in he does not approve... Of course, that could just be him talking out of his ass. His son is my best friend, and he was the same way until I came out to him, and then he accepted me...

Well, you know what Shakespeare said. To paraphrase in current English "I think you protest too much". Perhaps the father is still in the closet?

But remember----your sexuality is your own business, no one else's. If it comes up in the reading, you can laugh the subject off. Or you can change the subject. Or you can ask a question that has nothing to do with sexuality and then say your sexuality isn't something you choose to discuss during the reading if he brings it up. Just don't let it become an issue. It's your business, not his.

I've always gotten rather upset whenever the subject of determining another person's sexual orientation via the cards comes up. Sex is a very private part of one's life and one that nobody else has a right to pry into. One of my daughters is lesbian, one of my grandchildren has just come out as bisexual and I have three gay cousins (at least ). For some reason, I feel defensive about the subject because 1.) the reader could be wrong and could cause incredible harm in the subjects life if they are wrong and rumors start flying and 2.) it's nobody business what someone else does in the bedroom. If a person specifically asks a reader something about their sex lives, fine. Otherwise, it's nobody's business. So in my opinion, if this guy brings up sexuality when you didn't ask about it, you have every right to close the door in his face so to speak.

Our esteemed member whose opinion I respect, Fudugazi, differs in her opinion somewhat because she's read for subjects all over the world and in many cultures, so I have to defer to her that in certain times and places, talking about another's sexual orientation in a reading is appropriate. However, in this case, it wouldn't be appropriate if you don't want to come out to him or discuss it if he sees it in his cards.

 

[BLFO]

I see nothing wrong or unethical trying to figure someone's sexuality. Most likely the people who think it is unethical would think it is unethical to be ashamed of being gay, or unethical that a gay person should feel compelled to hide their sexuality to other people. Go figure. Can't always please people.

Sexuality is normal human behavior and nothing to feel like it is so precious that it is a taboo topic, even with tarot.

And there could be good reasons to wanting to discover someone's sexuality. Whether they are gay, lesbian, are into having sex with dead folks, dogs, orgies and whatever.


I did a spread on an acting coach I had a crush on. And he flirts with me. But something made me feel strange about him. He was a little "odd". I couldn't put my fingers on it. Yes, it is typical to classify male artists or creative types for being "weird" and not like the average guy. So I passed up his quirks. Then one day months ago, I did a Coming Love Interest spread. And as for his flaw, I got an Empress. At first I choked it up as him being a lady's man. But overtime as I got to know him and he felt comfortable with me, he slowly began to lose his masculine, macho man facade and started to get all effiminate on me. In the beginning I blew it off as him being "sensitive" because his, like you know, one of those creative actor types.

Later, it is still unconfirmed, that he is most likely bisexual. I felt comfortable making this decision after I heard him call a fellow gay male actor "honey". He said it like, "Thank you, honey." After the guy passed him something.

So tarot warned me, before I realized it, that his flaw was him being an Empress aka "a girly-man", since I usually like my men very macho and anything other thatn that doesn't appeal to me.

I think sexuality readings can become useful when you are in a relationship with someone and you NEED to know their sexual orientation. (gay, straight, pedophile, promiscous, asexual, etc.) That could be in a romantic relationship. Or a parent trying to figure out if their kid is lying about being a certain orientation when they are not.

If many tarotist don't have a problem tapping into wanting to know another person's feelings, actions and thoughts....I don't get how sexuality is off limits, or unethical. If it is, then tarot in general in one big unethical form of divination when doing readings on people besides yourself.

And the rules of what is ethical and unethical is all man made. So an individual has to decide for themselves what does ethics really mean, if it means anything at all.

 

[raeanne]

Most likely the people who think it is unethical would think it is unethical to be ashamed of being gay, or unethical that a gay person should feel compelled to hide their sexuality to other people. Go figure. Can't always please people.

?????????? Could you clarify yourself a bit better? I feel like you jumped from one track to another in your reasoning. Sorry, but I just didn't follow your logic at all.

So tarot warned me, before I realized it, that his flaw was him being an Empress aka "a girly-man", since I usually like my men very macho and anything other thatn that doesn't appeal to me.

Am I understanding you correctly? Did you intend to say that you look at this as needing to be "warned" that someone was gay and that you consider this a "flaw"? Unfortunately there are many people who feel that way, which is why many gays stay in the closet. In the USA gays are routinely beaten, often to the point of death. To use Tarot to "out" someone can get that person killed.

Personally, as I have said before, I believe that you can ask Tarot anything you want. "Ethics" come into play when you ask yourself "Why are you asking this" and "What will you do with the information once you get it". If you had a legitimate need and you didn't use the info to "out" the person, I would think you were fine in doing the reading you did. If you were to ask the question just so you could get an inside track on someone else's life, then that might not be so appropriate. I know there are people who disagree with me. They are entitled to their own opinion. We each have to pay the price for our own actions.

 

[moderndayruth]

I think sexuality readings can become useful when you are in a relationship with someone and you NEED to know their sexual orientation. (gay, straight, pedophile, promiscous, asexual, etc.) That could be in a romantic relationship. Or a parent trying to figure out if their kid is lying about being a certain orientation when they are not.

I suppose that if one is in a romantic relationship with another person - one supossingly knows their SO's sexual orientation, right?
Pedophile is not 'sexual orientation' btw, it's medical diagnosis.
As per 'friend's only' relationships - why would i wonder what my friend's orientation is if they are not comfortable enough to be open about it with me? I mean, it's none of my bussiness, it's their privacy and why would i pry on them if they don't want to share it with me?

 

[gregory]

I see nothing wrong or unethical trying to figure someone's sexuality. Most likely the people who think it is unethical would think it is unethical to be ashamed of being gay, or unethical that a gay person should feel compelled to hide their sexuality to other people. Go figure. Can't always please people.

No-one needs to know anyone else's sexuality unless they are considering a sexual relationship. If people want you (generic throughout - all yous refer to the world at large. not to any individual poster !) to know they can tell you. If they don't tell you it is none of your business. But I would not go to a reader at all if I already felt they would judge something about me like that.

Sexuality is normal human behavior and nothing to feel like it is so precious that it is a taboo topic, even with tarot.

There is a HUGE difference between taboo and private.

And there could be good reasons to wanting to discover someone's sexuality. Whether they are gay, lesbian, are into having sex with dead folks, dogs, orgies and whatever.

IMHO the ONLY good reason for wanting to discover it is if you are about to make a pass at them. Or if you are married to them and have begun to wonder.....

<snip> In the beginning I blew it off as him being "sensitive" because his, like you know, one of those creative actor types.

That is just base stereotyping.

Later, it is still unconfirmed, that he is most likely bisexual. I felt comfortable making this decision after I heard him call a fellow gay male actor "honey". He said it like, "Thank you, honey." After the guy passed him something.

You CANNOT assess ("decide") someone's sexuality over something like that. I know LOTS of dead straight men who would say things like that.

So tarot warned me, before I realized it, that his flaw was him being an Empress aka "a girly-man", since I usually like my men very macho and anything other that that doesn't appeal to me.

WARNED you ? you have to be WARNED that someone is gay ? It's a FLAW ? That is so sad. Unless you were planning to go after him. In which case - why not just ask ?

I think sexuality readings can become useful when you are in a relationship with someone and you NEED to know their sexual orientation. (gay, straight, pedophile, promiscous, asexual, etc.) That could be in a romantic relationship. Or a parent trying to figure out if their kid is lying about being a certain orientation when they are not.

Yes to the romantic relationship - but if you are in that kind of relationship and can't ask - what kind of relationship is it ? No to the kid. If they don't want to tell their parents they do not have to. If parents would wait until the kid is ready to tell them - if that ever happens - they wouldn't have to lie. Parents do NOT have the RIGHT to know these things. Too many think they do - that way lies so much misery.

If many tarotist don't have a problem tapping into wanting to know another person's feelings, actions and thoughts....I don't get how sexuality is off limits, or unethical. If it is, then tarot in general in one big unethical form of divination when doing readings on people besides yourself.

You read for the question asked. If it is relevant and comes up, fair enough. If they asked you about their job prospects - it isn't.... and if it bothers you to read for someone gay - whether or not you know they are - maybe you shouldn't be a reader. I do think readers HAVE to be non-judgmental about things like this, just as doctors etc have to be - and the one penelope802 mentions sounds like he might not be - so I for one wouldn't go to him. (I am not gay, BTW. But I would not go to a reader I thought might be affected by it if I were.)

Or to put it all another way - this post astonished and alarmed me.

 

[Demon Goddess]

Yes, as in he does not approve... Of course, that could just be him talking out of his ass. His son is my best friend, and he was the same way until I came out to him, and then he accepted me...

Consider the concept that your reader is good at what he does. Then you are going to be outed. Some of us have exceptional gaydar even without the cards.

By the same token a relationship of reader/sitter is similar, in my opinion to that of counselor/client and although SHOULD be subject to the same confidentiality as that of a relationship of doctor/patient, alas, there is no board of governors protecting sitters from readers who have no angst about outing people.

That said... if you are concerned that you will be outed by this reader or are in any way concerned about negativity from this reader as a result of your sexual orientation, then you need another reader.

Of course, that advice and $1.71 will get you an extra large double double.