Stalked by Strength

[Grizabella]

The Strength card could be warning you to slow down, suck it up and stay where you are. I just read a saying that's very true.....if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, try watering the grass on your side of the fence and it will get greener , too.

Too many people (including me at one time) do great in the honeymoon phase of a relationship but when the honeymoon is over, they start looking for another honeymoon because they don't know how to do the boots on the ground stage of the relationship long term. Strength fits here exactly, saying to exercise the strength to see your existing relationship through to the other side.

 

[jolie_amethyst]

The Strength card could be warning you to slow down, suck it up and stay where you are. I just read a saying that's very true.....if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, try watering the grass on your side of the fence and it will get greener , too.

Too many people (including me at one time) do great in the honeymoon phase of a relationship but when the honeymoon is over, they start looking for another honeymoon because they don't know how to do the boots on the ground stage of the relationship long term. Strength fits here exactly, saying to exercise the strength to see your existing relationship through to the other side.

*nods*

This is pretty much what I'm seeing here too. My first husband was one who did not understand the difference between infatuation and actual love. He still doesn't, from what I've heard, and I tend to doubt at this point that he'll ever be "happy" in a stable, long term relationship because of that. I find that pretty sad.

It takes a great deal of Strength to build & maintain a happy pairing through the good, the bad, and yes, sometimes the boring. And sometimes, it's going to take Strength not to jump that fence.

 

[BeccaBoo]

I value the insight and that phrase more than you know, but when we broke up for that two weeks though, it was me who got dumped and me still who was consoling him about the breakup. It just seems like if I still loved him I wouldn't have been able to smile and tell him it would be okay and that he would get over it eventually. Truly I am far too emotional of a person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am one of those hated criers. The people that cry at the drop of a hat. So if I still loved him in that way at that time wouldn't i have been more upset than I was? I honestly felt better then than I do now.

I feel like I have been trying to water the grass for a long time now, to no avail. Nothing has gotten greener. On the several occasions I have told him that even though we have been together this long doesnt mean the romance should be dead he literally rolled his eyes at me. Usually I am the quiet sufferer who doesnt speak my mind because I dont like conflict. So when I get to a point where I say something and it just gets an eye roll response, I get affirmation that my opinions don't matter to him. I try to be happy about him and in my relationship but sometimes I just cry because of it. It just doesn't feel right to me anymore.

 

[jolie_amethyst]

I value the insight and that phrase more than you know, but when we broke up for that two weeks though, it was me who got dumped and me still who was consoling him about the breakup. It just seems like if I still loved him I wouldn't have been able to smile and tell him it would be okay and that he would get over it eventually. Truly I am far too emotional of a person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am one of those hated criers. The people that cry at the drop of a hat. So if I still loved him in that way at that time wouldn't i have been more upset than I was? I honestly felt better then than I do now.

I feel like I have been trying to water the grass for a long time now, to no avail. Nothing has gotten greener. On the several occasions I have told him that even though we have been together this long doesnt mean the romance should be dead he literally rolled his eyes at me. Usually I am the quiet sufferer who doesnt speak my mind because I dont like conflict. So when I get to a point where I say something and it just gets an eye roll response, I get affirmation that my opinions don't matter to him. I try to be happy about him and in my relationship but sometimes I just cry because of it. It just doesn't feel right to me anymore.

That absolutely does happen, and I get that. Perhaps you do need the Strength to leave, then, and that's why the card keeps turning up. It takes a tremendous amount of strength to walk away from even a bad long term relationship, and with a child, it's so much harder. I'm sorry, hon, I really am. ((hugs))

But more unsolicited advice, take it or leave it: Get out of the one relationship fully, without any consideration of any other possible romantic interest, and make sure that you are emotionally set within your own skin before you let the next person in.

If things are meant to work out with your friend from work, it will...down the road. You don't have to take action on telling him anything right now, you're just adding to your own stress and complicating things for yourself by focusing on that possibility. Focus on yourself and getting out of your current situation first. Let the rest fall into place when it's time.

Wishing you nothing but the best, no matter what path you choose!

 

[BeccaBoo]

My fiance isn't an awful guy, he just isn't a great one. He just doesn't comprehend when I tell him something is disrespectful. Sometimes I am okay with it and sometimes the stress and weight of it breaks me.

Trust me though, after this whole ordeal I will be taking a lot of time off from men in general. Those spreads on the other guy were just meant to see if telling him would make me feel a little lighter inside, like I at least had had the opportunity to get stuff of my chest so I wasnt having to closely guard that secret anymore. I doubt anything would happen with him ever.

 

[MandMaud]

He just doesn't comprehend when I tell him something is disrespectful.

Now THAT is a huge warning.

Trust me though, after this whole ordeal I will be taking a lot of time off from men in general.

and ordeal is a strong word. If ordeal it what it is, you're definitely better out of it.

Don't write off men altogether but yes, avoiding anything while on the rebound is very wise.

The Strength card could be warning you to slow down, suck it up and stay where you are. I just read a saying that's very true.....if the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, try watering the grass on your side of the fence and it will get greener , too.

Too many people (including me at one time) do great in the honeymoon phase of a relationship but when the honeymoon is over, they start looking for another honeymoon because they don't know how to do the boots on the ground stage of the relationship long term. Strength fits here exactly, saying to exercise the strength to see your existing relationship through to the other side.

This is so true as well. BeccaBoo, you know best which way the card is pointing, the thoughts that I'm expressing or this opposite view that Grizabella reminds us of. Both are true, of different people at different times.

Back to:

In things like this I tend to find myself saying, you already know the answer. Just listen: you do know.

I am certain you know your own answers here.

I do not really think I am one to be proud of necessarily. If I were, I would not have wound up in my current predicament.

I don't think that's true. Staying in predicaments is nothing to be proud of but getting into them is nothing to be ashamed of. Getting out of them is how we learn and mature. Recognising, acknowledging, taking responsibility for where you're at now is something to be very proud of.

 

[Grizabella]

I do know how you feel. When we find ourselves in a bad or empty feeling relationship we just get so starved for love that it's easy to find ourselves wanting to grasp at anything we can just to feel wanted, valued and desired but if we jump into something else too soon, we find ourselves out of the frying pan into the fire more often than not. Just try not to give in to starting something else before you give yourself time to heal. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that, whatever happens, life will be wonderful for you in time.

 

[BeccaBoo]

Many, many thanks to all of you. I have never really expressed these emotions to anyone. I don't often talk about the inner workings of my relationships. You all have been so nice to offer your input and listen and add more input to help me through this a little bit. You all are truly wonderful people. Thank you all so much again. It really means a lot.

 

[Grizabella]

Many, many thanks to all of you. I have never really expressed these emotions to anyone. I don't often talk about the inner workings of my relationships. You all have been so nice to offer your input and listen and add more input to help me through this a little bit. You all are truly wonderful people. Thank you all so much again. It really means a lot.

Speaking for my part, you're very welcome. I wish you all the best and hope this trouble is soon over for you.

 

[MandMaud]

Many, many thanks to all of you. I have never really expressed these emotions to anyone. I don't often talk about the inner workings of my relationships. You all have been so nice to offer your input and listen and add more input to help me through this a little bit. You all are truly wonderful people. Thank you all so much again. It really means a lot.

Of course you're welcome! I am so glad it has helped - something told you to come here and ask.

+ what Grizabella said.

+ what Grizabella said before that.

I was about to end with "Keep strong!" Maybe that's what Strength is telling you. Encouragement. Courage. Leo is also Heart - not only love, but courage.