Drawing!!!! ~Shudders....~
I figured I would resurrect this thread, rather than starting a new one, to express my experience last night with coming to grips with my faerie guide. So I am hopeful that some of you will find this piece tagged onto the end of this thread.
My Faery Guide has remained a blank white for quite a while now because of some of the fears that I see others on this thread coming across: fear of not doing it right, fear that I am a lousy artist, fear that it will trash the beauty of Froud's deck to put this in with his transcendent work.
Well, last night, with a rare evening to myself without matters pressing on me. I took my set of colored pencils that I bought with my B.O.T.A. tarot deck and decided to set to work drawing my guide. I decided to get some faery help, so I shuffled the deck, set out my blue box reading table and cut the deck onto the four corners of the table, putting my blank guide in its center. The four helpers I drew were: in the northwest corner, Penelope Dreamweaver; in the northeast corner, Laiste, Moon's Daughter; in the southwest corner, The Bodacious Bodach; and in the southeast corner, Mickle a` Muckle. With the four faeries in place, I tried to stop thinking, listened to the water trickles and the wind chimes in my zen corner, and chose pencils and began drawing, hair brush strokes as my hands would guide me, looking at different faeries and seeing an aspect, a color, to make a choice... the grey blue tone of Bodach, the orange tinges on the edges of Penelope, a terri cotta from Mickle. My shapes were undefined and purely by whim. And as I drew, I started pondering what the faeries were telling me... the dream weaver, moon's daughter.. night and abstract dream.. bodacious.. something deeply sensual, which goes with the moon and dreams, mickle.. something a little stupidly goofy..lunatic..mooon.. seeing connections and just drawing shapes and mixing colors.
If this were a story I wrote, perhaps the end card would be this amazing art drawn from deep in my subconscious...as it stands now, it is just a sense of swirls.. but if a brilliant amazing faerie does not come out of this, at least I know, when I draw it in a reading, the colors and swirls will draw forth all these feelings, and even this post, when I read, and I will get just as deep a meaning as I get with any of the other cards. Perhaps that is my guide's message. Non perfection at surface, but deep colored understanding that doesn't make surface beauty.
I guess I post this to assure you all who hesitate or practice to make sure that you get it right on your only chance, this one card, that you must at some point throw away those reservations, pick a few faeries to guide you to your guide, and do it. Even if it is not art comparable to Froud's, it is art from deep in your spirit. No matter how aesthetically pleasing it is not, it is deeply evocative in your eyes.
Peace!