When loved ones disapprove of Tarot

[Nytebugg]

I have never had anyone disapprove. usually, I don't bring it up and when I do I usually say it's like stamp collecting only more interactive. I've dated guys who don't really get it. my only rule is they not make fun of it or me for liking it. Most of them dismiss it as kind of flaky but usually they come around and ask for a reading at some point.

 

[nisaba]

My ex husband never said much about my cards, he really was not into them. But, he did not hassle me about them. If it were me I would tell him to take a hike! Lol....seriously I think he just has some unfounded issues about them....

I just had a nasty thought.

Is it possible that he knows they work, and really, really, really doesn't want you knowing something major about him?

 

[Carla]

I don't know what to tell you. Even before I was into occult practices, when all I wanted to do was burn candles for Advent, my (completely hypocritical) frothing-at-the-mouth Baptist ex-husband told me I was 'weird'. If I'd brought home a tarot deck, he'd have thrown them in the trash himself, without asking, then yelled at me. A lot. My partner now is interested in the same path as me, and encourages my tarot interest. He even has his own deck. (Although so far he hasn't read with them, just done a bit of spell work).

Best of luck working this out.

 

[Sulis]

This;

It's not about the cards...it's about him letting you be who you are...

and this;

"I had to tell a white lie..." No. If you two had an open, strong relationship, you would not have felt the need to do any such thing. With all due respect, a relationship that relies on lies to survive is not a good one.

"...asked me again to make sure I'd done it...." His distrust is worrisome.

"...Yes he can be very patronizing..." You deserve better.

say perfectly what I'm trying to say...
This is not about cards, this is about control. Someone who tries to control you in this way is not good for you no matter what beliefs he hides his controlling ways behind.
If you feel that you have to lie to a partner so that you won't get into trouble then you don't have a partnership.

You need to find a man who respects you for who you are and who lets you be you.

 

[gregory]

What Sulis said and what others have said.

Not believing, not being interested - fine - people don't have to take up with clones. A relationship where you have to lie, where someone tries to mould you into what they want you to be - that is NOT OK.

And by the way - if you aren't what he wants and he wants you to change - especially early on - he doesn't want YOU; let him go find someone who fits his mould....

Be true to yourself, and find someone else who is. Then however much you don't see eye to eye - you will still be OK. (I have 45 years with one person behind me on this one !)

All you-s are generic but any that fit anyone - please feel free to take this as directed at you (not generic !)

 

[franniee]

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has a right to make you get rid of your cards. If a boyfriend truly puts that kind of a condition on your relationship, then he does not deserve you. Seriously. That kind of control is abusive.

Now that I have that out of my system ...

I agree and now I need to get it out of my system.

I am sorry Cutie but you should have stood your ground. No lying.... white or otherwise. Respect is the most important thing in a relationship. Respect, trust and integrity. These are what qualify a strong relationship not love. Love without respect isn't real love.

For him to demand that of you is disrespectful! I would have laughed and told him that he was being silly and this is a part of my life. Period end of discussion. I would have continued with..... if you would like to discuss Tarot I would be more than happy to teach you about it.

When I met my husband he was wary of the cards but he would never have dreamed of demanding anything of me. We don't demand. Demanding is disrespectful and stomps all over the person! He accepted me as is and I him. He grew to understand Tarot and divination and respect the whole process. He enjoys looking at a new deck. He supports me reading professionally which I began 4 years ago during our marriage. Now he even asks for a reading! I mean it isn't a daily thing... maybe he has done it a handful of times in the 11 years I have known him but the first time he did I laughed so hard and said YOU WANT WHAT????? He said YUP pull them out and tell me about xyz!

My Mother was upset about another of my hobbies and demanded that I stop. I told her point blank that it wasn't up for discussion. She still tries to no avail.

The thing is you need to be true to yourself. It isn't about the cards it is about living a life of integrity, respect and truth.

Going forward ..... I would open a discussion about respect, trust and integrity with him..... and explain what tarot etc mean to you and how you feel about it and explore how he feels about it. If he can't understand - well for me that would have been a deal breaker.....but you need to decide what is right for you.

Blessings

 

[Alta]

My brother, who learned something the hard way in his first marriage, says "When the other person has contempt for you, the relationship is over." By ordering you to throw away the cards, he was saying loud and clear that he did not respect your judgment, your values or even you. There really needs to be a 'next boyfriend'. My ex had no respect for me whatsoever, how I lasted as long as I did is a mystery.

 

[Laura Borealis]

I meant to mention earlier, if it were me I'd be worried that he might throw the cards away himself, "for your own good."

 

[Miss Divine]

I've had a boyfriend who was totally against it. But there was no way I was gonna get rid of my cards or stop reading them and I made that clear.
I grew up with strict parents but who were very tolerant when it came to Tarot cards, divination etc. I was taught to be who I want to be no matter what anyone else thinks about it.

I'm single now, but I can't imagine being with a guy that demanded either him or the cards. I would say "Either you accept me the way I am or get out! (and don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!)

I'd probably also add that the cards bring me more happiness than him anyway...

Like others have mentioned, if he doesn't accept you with your Tarot cards, to me that means he doesn't accept you for who you truly are.

 

[SunChariot]

I've never had a problem exploring my tarot and divination curiosities when I lived at home, and in fact my mother seemed to be just about as curious as I was. But I didn't think the following would happen: boyfriends disapproving of tarot. I've gotten into "trouble" several times with my boyfriend over my tarot activities. Last time he found a deck in my bag (not that he was going through my stuff, just helping me put something away), he basically said it was him or the cards. A few days later he asked me to throw them away in the trash, and then asked me again to make sure I'd done it. Yes he can be very patronizing. Of course, I didn't throw my beautiful and many decks in the trash! I would never do that. I had to tell a white lie. But I know at some point it might really become him or the cards.

His fear is that there are "dark energies" giving me the information I'm getting from the cards. He also said it's not good for mental health. He does believe they are accurate though. Then I start to ponder, is it really a person belief or that he could be hiding something and doesn't want me to find out through the cards??

What are your thoughts on this ??
Has it ever been "your loved one or the cards"?? Which one did you choose? How do I explain the cards to someone that fears them? What about mental health and dark energies?

I think the potential for there to be mental health problems is when one starts to rely so heavily on the cards to control one's destiny as opposed to real action.

Absolutely know what you mean. I have been with my bf 21 years and only started out as a reader 6 years ago. When my bf found out he took a fit. He is vehemently against Tarot and anything related to it. And he was not shy to tell me about it very loudly and rudely. And he is usually such a gentle man who hardly ever gets angry or raises his voice! And he was just furious. Really took me by surprise too.

It was not a religious thing or dark energy thing for him though,. He just thinks you have to be a complete idiot to believe in it and it seems to anger him to think he's living with "an idiot". It really really bugs him that I can believe in something so strongly that is unproovable..

It drove a HUGE wedge between us and we are nowhere near as close as we once were. Likely we will break up in time and that was the start of it even though it was a long time and we thigns have calmed down somewhat....

Babs