When they want to "test" you

[Sulis]

Thanks Gardner for bringing this up and thanks to Lark too for sharing that experience.

Reading for strangers live is something that I haven't done, it terrifies me because I'm sure that I'll get someone like this straight away.. I'm filled with admiration for those who do it.

Gardner I'm glad that the good experience of the evening is starting to outshine the bad, you've given me hope that one day I'll be able to do it.

Love Sulis xx

 

[Umbrae]

There are so many of those folks out there, and sooner or later – we all get one, or two, or a whole flock of them in one day.

Everyone will develop their own style of handling it – but there’s a key – never lose control of the reading, “You’re the psychic, you tell me” (or whatever they say that means the same thing), is about control. They are wresting it from your grip.

So what to do?

Handing them a brochure is great…but there are a ton of things you can do right there…

There’s the “I’m a tarot reader, not a psychic” line. But you know, no matter how much we protest, in their eyes we are psychic…and just downplaying it.

You can spend thirty minutes re-educating them, but that’s not really our job. We are there/here to read.

…What to do…

“You want me to tell you what you already know…? How about a general reading…”

“I have a secret…” And you look at them dead into their eyes and stare them down and say, “Yesssss…you do…don’t you…General reading?”

“I have a secret…” “Tests tests tests…it’s not about the tests, it’s about the lessons.”

“I have a secret…” “A secret spoken finds wings.”

“I have a secret…” ” Keeping the first secret always means keeping ten more.”

“I have a secret…” “Yes…The moon likes secrets and hidden things. She lets mysteries bleed into shadows and leaves us to wonder whether they originated from other worlds, or our own imaginations.”

There are a thousand approaches. And sure when you sit and read these (this is what I come up with in a few seconds), they sound cheesy and cheap…

But not to the tester…that last one…you’re sitting there going ‘huh’? But I guarantee the tester is saying “OMG”

When we go pro, we get the trials by fire. Best put some thought into every Question from Hell you can think of…because…you’re gonna get them.

Never give up control…remember…the reading is about them. You give up control…and it becomes ‘about you’.

 

[lark]

Never give up control…remember…the reading is about them. You give up control…and it becomes ‘about you’.

Yup, there it is in a nut shell.
I won't be making that mistake again.

 

[tarotbear]

I just say "I read cards, I don't read minds" and explain that there's a difference.

I use that line all the time!

In truth, I never ask the querent what their question is - I always do a 'cold' reading - so, in a way I am asking them to test me if you really want to think about it that way.

When you get a querent who wants to play 'Stump the Psychic' - tell them you are not a psychic ( I am not psychic - are you?) that you have found that most people who play that game are lying to you anyway, and you don't waste your time with peole who want to play games. And then tell them the fee is double and you have to get paid up front!

 

[minotaur]

testing

I just say "I read cards, I don't read minds" and explain that there's a difference. Good point.

I've only run into this once...a woman said, "I want dates and times and details of my future."

I told her if I see that at 4:30 this afternoon she will cross the street and be run over by a car will she still do it? Free will is important...some people are so mechanical you can predict very exactly what will happen, but you don't want to be one of those people....

...then pause, and say, "you could do what I'm doing, and do it very well"....then just go into the reading while they sit there and process what you just said. Someone who is testing you has their ego involved and if you gently stroke that ego, then go into the reading, you will be fine.

 

[magpie9]

...then pause, and say, "you could do what I'm doing, and do it very well"

I don't mean to offend you but I really can't agree with this --I could not say that unless I believed it to be true. I do agree that the "testers" have ego involvement, but I think it's more in the spectrum of control issues, power-over, and jealousy. Especially jealousy.
As a group, I very much doubt they are at all psychic or capable of being a professional reader, even if they could read. It takes a lot more than knowledge of the cards to be a professional reader.

 

[Grizabella]

**I do agree that the "testers" have ego involvement, but I think it's more in the spectrum of control issues, power-over, and jealousy. Especially jealousy.**

I agree with that "specially jealousy".

And I also agree that: "It takes a lot more than knowledge of the cards to be a professional reader." If you go with just a knowledge of the cards and not that other "something", you're like the writer of whom Truman Capote said, "That's not writing, that's typing."

 

[minotaur]

"the line"

"you could do what I'm doing, and do it very well"

The key to doing that line effectively is to not say anything...you have someone who's ego is on the line, someone who knows in their hearts they are better than others in so many ways. The way you understand that line and what is going on in their heads are two entirely different things.

In their minds, they agree with you...someone who was a moment ago was an antagonist is now agreeing with what you say. It is a very good time to go into the readings.

If you seek a literal interpretation, remember that anyone of average intelligence could study and learn to do a good tarot reading. As long as your client is average intelligence or better, they could learn to read the tarot cards well. Most of those who challenge you will fall into the average or slightly more than average intelligence levels.

But that isn't the point...the point is to take an adversary and make them an ally in the reading. It is a very nice way to shift....and as long as you believe anyone could learn tarot if they tried, it is 100% true.

If you don't believe that, then that is another issue...I have an optimistic feeling about those I read for.

 

[Umbrae]

Telling someone that they could “do this too,” and having a positive outcome assumes that they already share in your belief system. Chances are they don’t.

My experience in over three decades of reading for others is, that they either think you’re a fraud, or a psychic. The more you tell them that you’re not a psychic re-enforces their belief either way, you’re either downplaying your abilities, or admitting you use ‘cold reading techniques’, demographics, and a full comprehension of the Forer Effect.

I often ask, “Why do you read Tarot for others?” but the second half is more important…”Why do they come to us?”

They may go to church, science, family, lawyers, and the modern world of entertainment…they’ve got Oprah – they’ve got Dr. Phil (“What were you thinkin’?”…

But if they got what they were searching for there – we would not be here…

…They come to us. Why?

To have their cards read?

Perhaps we ignore the ‘whys’ at our own peril. It is a bigger topic than spreads, or even what the cards mean. If you do not know why… How can you read for them?

Why do they come to us?

“You can do this too…” falls flat.

Some folks come to prove you’re a fraud, some folks come to have their own personal ghost story. Some folks come for a real reading.

It’s imperative that we put ourselves into the shoes of our clients – it’s not important what I think…cuz this ain’t about me.

What’s important is what the client thinks – cuz it’s all about them – even if they are wrong, it’s all about them.

Like I said earlier, “Never give up control…remember…the reading is about them. You give up control…and it becomes ‘about you’.”

"It takes a lot more than knowledge of the cards to be a professional reader." If you go with just a knowledge of the cards and not that other "something", you're like the writer of whom Truman Capote said, "That's not writing, that's typing."

I like that.

 

[minotaur]

another option

My experience with using this approach, "...you could do this..." has been very good. I have read some of the suggestions as to why this is not good...when comparing the speculations to my experience with the result over the years, I still gotta stick to what works well for my clients....I have had none of the speculated bad results and have been able to turn many clients to my side that were fighting me. This is especially good for those young males who challenge you even with their body posture.

However....

A simpler way to deal with , "Can you tell me my secret?" Just say, "Let's lay out the cards and see what they say." Then just read...I do have faith in the cards.

Often when you ask someone what they would like to focus the reading on, and they say let's make it general or let's see what happens....well, it's obvious they have a question they aren't asking. When that happens, I just read the cards and it quickly becomes obvious what is on their mind.

Asking about a secret is just a verbalization of what goes on in the mind's of many sitters....it's a bit more confrontational, but just going into the reading should really take care of that.

I have also found if I haven't hit on "the secret" by the end of the reading they aren't shy at all. I usually ask near the end of the reading, "Is there anything else you want me to focus in on?" They will tell you...

It's been said that sitters don't care how you get the question, they just want the answer. For all practical purposes that is true...even with those who "test". By the time they get to the end of the reading they are so into it all challenges are forgotten.

Even the biggest of skeptics sneak peaks at their astrology column when no one's looking. At some place, almost every client is on your side, wants you to succeed...once you talk to that place you have a good reading.

Just my two cents...